Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...
I need your help in making a decisin of weather I should go for full time work or stay part time and start teaching full time in September 2016. I am a college professor and I have been working part time for the last three years and a half. That means teaching two courses and meeting regularly with my graduate students. I became ill with cfs in 2000. I worked full time until 2009 when my health began to get worse. I became bedridden from 2010 to 2012 and I could not work. In 2012 I returned back to work and since then I have been teaching two courses. Going for full time work would imply teaching three courses, that is, I would be teaching three days a week for two hours instead of the two days a week I have been teaching for the last three years and a half. I was sick the past three semesters. In September 2014 I caught a cold and went into a 10 month cfs relapse. It was more like a series of crashes and recoveries for ten month. Then I was very healthy for three months. Last September I reduced the dosage of one of my sleep medications. I became very anxious for about two or three weeks. I crashed and was sick during October and November almost every day. In December I was sick a total of 7 days and in January I have been sick a total of six days so far but only for three or four hours each day. I was sick two of those five days because I drove for two hours. Driving for two hours to visit my girlfriend does not make me sick when I am well. The other four days I was sick because I did not sleep well or at least that is what I think. I cannot find another reason as to why I was sick those days. If I teach part time this semester I would have to cancel a course in which I already have 21 students enrolled. That would make me very sad. But if I do it on time the students can find other courses during the first week of classes. I am afraid to disappoint my departments director. But he is well aware of my condition and generally he has been very understanding. I have never cancelled a course before. I need to work full time soon because I am not making enough money to pay for my expenses. I can still work part time for one more semester until September 2016. But if I dont start full time work then I will have to find another apartment. I will have to move. I would be very sad if I have to cancel a course and teach part time again. But it would be worse if I work full time and I get sick again. I cant stand being sick any more. I have been sick since September 2014 with a three month break between July and September in which I was extremely healthy and very strong until I made the mistake of reducing the dosage of one of my sleep medications. I have paid a high price for that. The anxiety I went through was very high for almost three weeks. That made me very sick for October and November and a few days in December and January. I dont know if I am ready to teach three courses. Even though I am much better and I dont get sick for more than 3-4 hours now I would me more confident to teach three courses if I had had two or three weeks symptom free in January. I had that in December. In October and November I would get sick for 1-3 days after teaching a course. I did not teach in December or January so I am not sure what will happen if I teach a course now. I have been resting for almost two months since I last taught a course so I think I should be ok but I am worried. During the time I said I was resting I went out to dinner with my girlfriend several times, stayed one day in a hotel, went to four medical appointments and I did not get sick. Please help me. I dont know what to do. I very confused. I really need the money and I feel terrible canceling a course I really enjoy teaching. I dont want to disappoint my director or the students. But I also dont want to get into a situation I cant handle or that makes me sick again. I need to get over my relapse. I cant stand it anymore. I have been in relapse for too long, I am hoping it is over and that what I have right now is some problems with sleep.
I know it's not what we want to hear, but you can best serve your students by being healthy. I am currently accepting my limited ability to work as well, so I know how tough it is. Take care of yourself first.
I would think that staying part time, which is the "safe" option since you have CFS, is what I would do. If it were me, I think I'd rather do a little less and be sure I can handle it, than push for the more difficult task, and not be able to be responsible because of my illness.
I realize this is a difficult decision. I had to quit work altogether, and was a year in bed with my first relapse. I won't ever push myself like that again. I have less money now, for sure, but my crashes are more manageable and I have learned how to pace. That was HUGE for me!!
It's not your fault you are sick, Gabriel, but this illness demands that we don't push too hard. I wish you the absolute best possible outcome with this. I know it's hard!
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You will not do your students any favours if you take on a course and then have to cancel halfway through it...or worse end up having to cancel all your courses because you have pushed yourself.
Saying 'no' is one of the best lessons of this illness and you need to learn to do it in order to improve, in my opinion.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this dreadful condition as well as trying to work, I had the same problem but unfortunately the condition won in the end!
If you need to consider full time...this decision in itself is causing you a lot of stress and anxiety just thinking about i!
It would need a great deal of forward planning and possible lifestyle changes that you would need to think about.
You would need to find the time to rest more...a lot more!! As you will know the brain takes a lot of energy to keep functioning and doesn't much care about the rest of the body as it uses all that energy!
Pacing yourself is very difficult when you have a very responsible job
Dealing with young students ,even though very rewarding,....
is emotionally draining
In your personal life you would have to make major alterations...driving 2hours to see your girlfriend is a lot of energy sapping time! Would your GF be willing to come to you?! for example
Maybe you need to do a sit down and write a list of the things that would definitely have to do to work full time and the same for part time
I suppose a critical analysis of your whole work/life situation.
I did this very thing but my hand was forced in the end as the illness became too severe and quality of life dropped dramatically!
Write a list of things that would have to be compromised in your personal time to give you the rest and reduce you anxiety! This would show you what you would have to let go of to keep working full on!
If you are going to seriously think about full time then you are going to need a good support network to help you achieve this!
Stress of any kind makes this illness extremely difficult to cope with and your job is stressful to say the least!
It is soul destroying to give up what you love doing, but if I were you I would stick with part time, downsize, and put you and your health first.
The Director will be more disappointed if you have to cancel classes at short notice, but if you tell him now he could maybe get someone else and maybe job share could be an option?!
You are also trying to work while you have severe symptoms and this will prolong the relapse...mind over matter does not work with this condition! I've tried it for years with bad results!
I feel really sad reading your post because I was in exactly the same position as you 13years ago and it's the most difficult thing to come to terms with...a body that won't do what you expect it to!
Take good care of yourself Gabriel.
i have been working part time for 20 years with my illness as a travel agent , massage therapist & personal trainer. dont ask me how i did it but i did. i slept every chance i got & was replaceable so my bosses understood my illness. after about 10 years into that i worked now work for a public school system in NJ and also metlife stadium in NJ. i had to give up the travel agent, personal training & massage therapist careers but my body kept getting weaker & more things started happening too me. between age 28 - 48. i pushed & pushed to try to have a normal working life but my body has been punished by it. now i am still in the school system & metlife stadium part time. i gave up more & more each year to work less & less so i can feel better. i go to physical therapy twice a week for my chronic fatigue & fibromyaligia . the school is getting to much for me because i have to get up early. i am going to try for disability because i have 30 years in the system and then just work at metlife stadium where i enjoy so much.
my advice do what makes you happy but dont forget about your limitations. you will feel better in the end. i hope that helps :o)