Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...
I can't live like this.
I'm worth more dead than alive.
I am passing my burdens on to my child. The burden of caring for me and for himself. The burden of depression. The burden of physical ill health.
I am a liability in the life of my child. I model sickness and failure not health and success. With me in the picture he is deprived of proper care and support. From me he picks up values and behaviors which are not good for his character and his future. He would be better off in the care of more 'normal' role models
Thoughts of suicide come from a place of unworthiness....
I don't know who I am or what my contibution to the world is
I am unable to achieve the way I used to
I am unable to hold on to the worldly symbols which validated my worthiness (money, success, altruism, social circles)
Thoughts of suicide come from a place of helplessness and insufficiency....
I am unable to do the basic things any responsible adult should do
.. take care of my home
.. care for, nurture and support my child
.. earn an income, pay the bills
.. care for my own body
I am unable to be the loving and supportive person I would like to be in others' lives
..too many birthdays, graduations, funerals, weddings and parties missed
..too many times I needed to be there physically but could not
..too many ways that I've dropped the ball and hurt their hearts in the process
Thoughts of suicide come from a place of frustration, resentment and self pity....
I am unable to live the life I want to live
I am unable to do the work I want to do in this world
I don't enjoy life
I am ill, unemployed, lonely, unloved, unsupported and feeling useless
I feel like life is an endless progression of wasted days. Nothing changes. I contribute nothing
I am unable to think, I am unable to plan, I am unable to function
My situation seems more gloomy with each passing day
I can't see the way forward
Yet I know that I AM WORTHY...
I am worthy simply because I am. I have nothing to prove. I simply am.
I worthy of my place in this world simply because God saw fit to put me here and God makes no mistakes.
I am worthy of another day of life because God granted it to me, because He wanted to. Because He has a plan for my life. My work here is not yet done.
I AM NOT HELPLESS, WORTHLESS OR INSUFFICIENT...
I have been carried, covered and more than adequately provided for through 7 years of illness.
Even though my physical power is limited my spiritual power is limitless and unquenchable.
I don't need to DO anything to prove myself worthy. I don't need to work for it. I din't need to prove it to anyone. I never did.
I am loved. By my child, my family, by neighbors, by friends. By perfect strangers. I am a part of the heart of God, I can never be separated from love. I can appreciate love as it comes from all sources knowing we are all imperfect vessels, yet we are all reflections of the source of all love, which is boundless and freely gifted to all .. including me.
I can choose to replace frustration, resentment and self pity with GRATITUDE, FAITH, HOPE and SERENITY
Perhaps I don't need to see the way forward. Perhaps it is sufficient to simply be grateful for where I am today.
.. I am alive
.. I have loving relationships in my life
.. l have food, clothing and shelter
.. I am in my right mind
.. l have hope
Perhaps, just for today, I rest in faith
..faith that as I have been carried in the past, so shall I be carried in the future
..faith that this too shall pass and even though its slow in passing, by its passage it has offered me many gifts
The gift of rest, the opportunity to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually
The opportunity to draw closer to God, to seek His word and search for His will in my life
The gift of strength to face and overcome adversity
The gifts of patience and perseverance
The gift of sympathy for the pain of others becsuse I have felt the pain myself
The gifts of compassion, of tolerance, of grace
The gift of love ..for myself, for others, for God
The gift of forgiveness, for those whose wrongs have placed so many burdens in my life, for those who continue to transgress and to hurt me, for those who will hurt me in the future. For myself, for the pain I have inflicted on others.
The gift of gratitude for all that has been forgiven of me, for all that has been provided to me, for all that has been promised, for all that is yet to come.
I believe God has a plan for my life.
I believe it is His will for me to be whole.. spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically.
I believe it is His will for me to be happy, fulfilled and purposeful.
I believe it is my choice, in this day, whether I live in hope or die in despair.
I choose to live. I choose to laugh. I choose to hope. I choose to pray. I choose to celebrate this day and the next and the next...
Dear DS friends, this is excerpted from my personal journal. I am discovering there is s silver lining behind every cloud, if you choose to look for it. Wishing you all a blessed day.
I'm worth more dead than alive.
I am passing my burdens on to my child. The burden of caring for me and for himself. The burden of depression. The burden of physical ill health.
I am a liability in the life of my child. I model sickness and failure not health and success. With me in the picture he is deprived of proper care and support. From me he picks up values and behaviors which are not good for his character and his future. He would be better off in the care of more 'normal' role models
Thoughts of suicide come from a place of unworthiness....
I don't know who I am or what my contibution to the world is
I am unable to achieve the way I used to
I am unable to hold on to the worldly symbols which validated my worthiness (money, success, altruism, social circles)
Thoughts of suicide come from a place of helplessness and insufficiency....
I am unable to do the basic things any responsible adult should do
.. take care of my home
.. care for, nurture and support my child
.. earn an income, pay the bills
.. care for my own body
I am unable to be the loving and supportive person I would like to be in others' lives
..too many birthdays, graduations, funerals, weddings and parties missed
..too many times I needed to be there physically but could not
..too many ways that I've dropped the ball and hurt their hearts in the process
Thoughts of suicide come from a place of frustration, resentment and self pity....
I am unable to live the life I want to live
I am unable to do the work I want to do in this world
I don't enjoy life
I am ill, unemployed, lonely, unloved, unsupported and feeling useless
I feel like life is an endless progression of wasted days. Nothing changes. I contribute nothing
I am unable to think, I am unable to plan, I am unable to function
My situation seems more gloomy with each passing day
I can't see the way forward
Yet I know that I AM WORTHY...
I am worthy simply because I am. I have nothing to prove. I simply am.
I worthy of my place in this world simply because God saw fit to put me here and God makes no mistakes.
I am worthy of another day of life because God granted it to me, because He wanted to. Because He has a plan for my life. My work here is not yet done.
I AM NOT HELPLESS, WORTHLESS OR INSUFFICIENT...
I have been carried, covered and more than adequately provided for through 7 years of illness.
Even though my physical power is limited my spiritual power is limitless and unquenchable.
I don't need to DO anything to prove myself worthy. I don't need to work for it. I din't need to prove it to anyone. I never did.
I am loved. By my child, my family, by neighbors, by friends. By perfect strangers. I am a part of the heart of God, I can never be separated from love. I can appreciate love as it comes from all sources knowing we are all imperfect vessels, yet we are all reflections of the source of all love, which is boundless and freely gifted to all .. including me.
I can choose to replace frustration, resentment and self pity with GRATITUDE, FAITH, HOPE and SERENITY
Perhaps I don't need to see the way forward. Perhaps it is sufficient to simply be grateful for where I am today.
.. I am alive
.. I have loving relationships in my life
.. l have food, clothing and shelter
.. I am in my right mind
.. l have hope
Perhaps, just for today, I rest in faith
..faith that as I have been carried in the past, so shall I be carried in the future
..faith that this too shall pass and even though its slow in passing, by its passage it has offered me many gifts
The gift of rest, the opportunity to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually
The opportunity to draw closer to God, to seek His word and search for His will in my life
The gift of strength to face and overcome adversity
The gifts of patience and perseverance
The gift of sympathy for the pain of others becsuse I have felt the pain myself
The gifts of compassion, of tolerance, of grace
The gift of love ..for myself, for others, for God
The gift of forgiveness, for those whose wrongs have placed so many burdens in my life, for those who continue to transgress and to hurt me, for those who will hurt me in the future. For myself, for the pain I have inflicted on others.
The gift of gratitude for all that has been forgiven of me, for all that has been provided to me, for all that has been promised, for all that is yet to come.
I believe God has a plan for my life.
I believe it is His will for me to be whole.. spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically.
I believe it is His will for me to be happy, fulfilled and purposeful.
I believe it is my choice, in this day, whether I live in hope or die in despair.
I choose to live. I choose to laugh. I choose to hope. I choose to pray. I choose to celebrate this day and the next and the next...
Dear DS friends, this is excerpted from my personal journal. I am discovering there is s silver lining behind every cloud, if you choose to look for it. Wishing you all a blessed day.
I love you just because you're breathing.
You don't have to do a thing right now.
I couldn't love you any more.
I couldn't love you any less.
I will love you far beyond
All your days of usefulness.
I love you just because you're living.
You don't have to feel rejection's weight.
You can be embraced like that.
A love like that exists.
Believe me that it does.
Now, please just don't resist.
Your journal reminded me of that song. So, I share it with you, my dear friend. You are worth something to us and to your Maker. Much love.
Thank you for sharing it.
I find them both very inspirational. Yes. This illness has
definitely caused me to step back and reevaluate many things.
It means I have had to reset my values and priorities.
I can focus on hearing spiritual talks and read booksnow that I
wouldn't have had that much time or interest in before
Your entry Max reminded me of the book I read about 20
years ago called, 'Love is Letting Go of Fear' by Gerald
Jampolsky MD. He founded the Center for Attitudinal
Healing in 1975. Perhaps, some of you may have heard of
it. I have gone back to look on their website.
I will freely admit that practicing unconditional love
both for myself and others for some reason doesn't come
easy to me. I have found that it is one of my biggest life
challenges as is forgiveness and compassion at times.
So. For sure, I liked hearing all that you had to say.