Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...
Hi everyone, I've had CFS for the past 8 months. My last MAJOR crash was 8 months ago. I've made a lot of progress since then. I've worked hard at pacing myself, paid more attention to getting adequate sleep, and practiced positive self-talk.
Amazingly, I was able to hold down my full time job. Of course other parts of my life took a hit (social life, relationships, etc...) but I'm proud to have held down my job. I even got to a point where I could run an errand or two after work!
Well the past month was a rough one physically and emotionally. My fianc who I'd been with for over 5 years said he didn't want to move forward with getting married anymore and we're in the process of deciding if we should go our separate ways once our apartment lease is up.
I spent Christmas doing everything myself. All of the present shopping, all of the wrapping, drove up to my parent's house (which is three hours away), and then drove back the very next day. I was not getting adequite rest and I was not eating well.
The day after Christmas I tried to get up and go to work after about 6 hours of sleep and experienced a significant crash. I ended up leaving work after being there for only an hour. I some how made it home and remained either in bed or the couch ever since. I'm supposed to be back to work tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM and I don't know how I'm going to do it.
I'm ready to throw in the towel and just give up. I feel like a failure. I was doing so well and managing my symptoms for months and now I feel like this crash is going to cost me my job.
I feel lost and no one understands. I've pushed through "tiredness" before. This isn't "tiredness" that I can push through. No one around me understands that.
Amazingly, I was able to hold down my full time job. Of course other parts of my life took a hit (social life, relationships, etc...) but I'm proud to have held down my job. I even got to a point where I could run an errand or two after work!
Well the past month was a rough one physically and emotionally. My fianc who I'd been with for over 5 years said he didn't want to move forward with getting married anymore and we're in the process of deciding if we should go our separate ways once our apartment lease is up.
I spent Christmas doing everything myself. All of the present shopping, all of the wrapping, drove up to my parent's house (which is three hours away), and then drove back the very next day. I was not getting adequite rest and I was not eating well.
The day after Christmas I tried to get up and go to work after about 6 hours of sleep and experienced a significant crash. I ended up leaving work after being there for only an hour. I some how made it home and remained either in bed or the couch ever since. I'm supposed to be back to work tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM and I don't know how I'm going to do it.
I'm ready to throw in the towel and just give up. I feel like a failure. I was doing so well and managing my symptoms for months and now I feel like this crash is going to cost me my job.
I feel lost and no one understands. I've pushed through "tiredness" before. This isn't "tiredness" that I can push through. No one around me understands that.
Pacing is so very important. Explain to your employer that you have a disability and you misjudged things. Tell them you're learning how to cope with it and you'll do better in the future.
We can only do what we can do. That pop slogan that you can do whatever you set your mind to...that just doesn't work for us. When someone throws that slogan at me, I'm tempted to ask them if they've ever met any blind baseball players.
When I worked full time, I came home, fixed supper, went to bed. On weekends I rested. It was the only way it all worked for me. I did that for many years.
You are not alone. There are so mny of us who have gone through exactly what you are experiencing right now. I am so sorry to hear about the crisis you have been though with your fiance. That alone would send anyone into bed for a good amount of time. Then spending all that time driving??? That is way too much to expect of yourself right now. Coping with stressors, such as your split up, for those of us with CFS is really difficult. I am not at all surpirsed you have crashed. And you are right: "tiredness" does not even begin to describe what you are feeling. Bone crushing fatigue is more accurate a description.
I think you need to call in sick. Take a few days off and try to get some nourishing food into yourself. Let yourself sleep and rest deeply, as much as you can. You need to tell your boss you sre going through a split up ad that you are ill. Most people get how devastating that is.
Don't throw in the towel! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! You are sick with a very challenging illness. Keep writing to us here at DS. WE understand and are here for you.
Sending big hugs and warmth to you,
Denise at 2097 Maris
You just need to rest and get through the crash.
Also, losing your job might feel very scarey but the most important thing is your health. I've lost my job or had to stop work many times because of CFS. I hope that doesn't happen to you, but if it does it doesn't mean you are a failure. You sound like a very strong person. If you can try to be kind to yourself.
When I got sick I didn't even know what was wrong with me. I did what anyone else would do and what I had to do. I didn't like my job but did the best I could. I was going to college part-time while working and being a single mom of two boys. I pushed as hard as I could not knowing how sick I was. I wanted to graduate college and get into my field and out of that job. They too put so much on me (I had to do the work for two people). I took time off too to rest and see doctors. However, my doctors didn't do anything to find out what was wrong.
I crashed hard and ended up in the hospital and ending my days of ever working again in 1993. I did get into a relationship after dx and learning about pacing. It lasted 9 years and I was devastated when it ended. He couldn't handle me being sick. But it was for the best, he was/is emotional immature and glad that I never married him.
I see that I was strong, not a failure. I look at all my strengths or weakness (from others perspective) and see a new perception of the world that others never get to see. No, it was not easy but it got better.
We understand that tiredness is not what you have and can't push through. You are not alone. Be kind to yourself and self/body will take care of you. Hugs and best wishes for the New Year. Bunni
We've all made that mistake. I've done it many times. You've proven you can cope with being sick and still work, don't let this set of circumstances derail all that effort you put into keeping your job.
I'm a believer in the idea that we chronically ill people should fight for as much of life as we can hold onto. I know how hard it is to keep working with this illness because I did it for a very long time.
I'm rooting for you.
I think we know at this point, it's hard to find an m.d that will treat naturally. For me, I cannot take an SSRI and I refuse to consider an antidepressant.
What we really need with this CF is to find the root problem and fix that. If your Electrolytes are low then this will cause fatigue, that goes for Iron and magnesium, also.
I take a B complex and D3 twice a day; I B tablet and 1 vitamin D3 tablet; plus 1 B & D3 tablet at bedtime. In the a.m., I also take Ionic Magnesium (electrolytes) so this is the regimen that works for now, but I need to find an m.d. or a set of doctors that will eradicate this.
I don't know if you have considered seeing a specialist or even a Naturopath.
If your are low on other hormones, iron, B12, Electrolytes, magnesium, any of this can cause lethargy, also.
This link below may be of some help for you look into.
Integrative Medicine: Vitamins, Minerals, and Herbs for Chronic Fatigue
http://www.healthy.net/Health/Article/Vitamins_Minerals_and_Herbs_for_Chronic_Fatigue/1375
I'm sorry that the chronic fatigue is taking over. I think all of us here are going thru this. When I get off work is the only time that I can make an errand since I'm already out and about. Once I get inside, I never come back out again; it's hard for me to get out again to make an errand so I leave it for the next day. I do a little ever day to not overwork myself.
I hope you feel better soon.
I wanted to say that the possible end of a relationship could cause an emotional crash in a healthy person, never mind us.....those nasty stress hormones do is in, whether it's good stress like the holiday or bad like breakups, different emotions same stress.
So this is when you allow yourself to crash when you are at home at least. Consider keeping a journal of how you feel each day, when you must leave work early...keep all your pay stubs or time cards. Should this illness result in you being unable to work, such things will be very helpful in getting disability. I hope you don't need to apply but if you do you will want all the history you can get. Also, see your doctor often. Get your symptoms logged, don't just tell her, be sure she actually notes them.
Be kind to yourself, and if your relationship does end be even kinder...
I was fortunate to work for managers and a company that supported short-term leaves when I could no longer push through the fatigue. Unfortunately, most often I went back as soon as I could lift my head off the pillow and would have been better off taking more time. Eventually, I was never able to return to full-time work and at some point, I wasn't able to work at all. Does that make me a failure? I don't think so. I think I lasted far longer than most people would have lasted and as hindsight often is 20/20, no longer working was the best thing I had done for my health since it all began.
It took a few years to get approved for SSD, but having your doctor document your symptoms and how they impact your ability to take care of yourself are key. I read everything I could find on the process and especially their eligibility rules. When I filled out the application, I submitted every doctor, tests and treatment since it all began. I even got a call from the caseworker saying I had records since 1981 :) to which replied, "Yes, that's how long I've been ill and continued to work, but I just can't do it any more."
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.