And to top of my horrible day-

My husband is supportive and caring but sometimes he's really dense. For instance, I told him I didn't feel like making dinner so we were going to have leftovers. But that didn't sounds good to me so I told him I probably wouldn't eat anything. He was planning on eating the leftovers. But then a little while later, I text him at work and told him I might have him pick something up. So when he called me on his way home, he asked what I wanted and I told him not to worry about it; I didn't want him to spend the money on me although I figured he'd pick up something for himself too. But I did ask for a soda (they are only $1 at McDonald's) and what does he do, well, he brings home the soda and a chicken sandwich for himself but nothing to eat for me.

He could see I was upset (not mad upset; hurt upset especially after the day I had) and wanted to know why. I told him why and he said that I didn't want anything and I said that I didn't want him to spend the money on me. I assumed if I wasn't getting anything to eat, he was going to eat the leftovers. I know this sounds ridiculous but it's been a bad day and it really hurt my feelings.

We are hoping to get on a budget next year and I told him we needed to put room in the budget for eating out in case i have days like today.

Most guys take what you say as exactly what you say. Most are not good at reading what is implied. It can be blatantly obvious to every woman in the room and the men are oblivious or confused. Even if a guy can read what you are feeling and thinking sometimes, it isn't going to happen everytime.

It is not ridiculous. As a woman it is natural to expect your meaning to be understood. Try not to beat yourself up over what is natural to you. Most of us women would either get it or ask for clarification.

You had a bad day. I know what happens to me when that happens. My symptoms get worse, some show up that have been dormant. I suspect a form of brain fog. I've learned that it takes many forms. Sometimes I don't realize it until later. I'm guessing that you had trouble making yourself clear. Or maybe it seemed clear.

And then there is the idea that even if you said nothing he should be looking out for you anyway. It hurts when a man doesn't do this on his own. It feels uncaring.

Meanwhile your husband was probably as dense as you suspected. What? I listened! You said you didn't want any! So I did what you said! You wanted a soda? Oh. I forgot.

Continuing in my nosy way....I recomend...

Sort your thoughts when you are ready. Unscramble it and lay it out in a very simple way. He needs this for future reference. Think excessively direct and simple. Like how you have to say things simply to a very young child. This is not to be condescending, this is to avoid misunderstanding.

From what you have said this is what I'd go with. Adjust it however it fits you or throw it out all together for what fits you better.

Because I wasn't feeling well I had brain fog. As a result my thoughts came out in a roundabout way and I struggled to explain myself any better. I didn't realize you didn't get what I meant and that is why I was hurt. Now that I can think it through better I want to tell you what was going on so you have some idea what to do if this happens again.

I was too tired to make anything. [It would be good at this point to insert your thoughts about his role in it. Like you didn't want to ask him to make anything, wasn't time for him to, felt guilty after he worked all day, or whatever was going on.] My next thought was leftovers, but that just didn't sound good to me. I really wanted takeout, but I know we can't afford it. I thought just a soda would be ok. I thought that you'd either stick to the soda and eat leftovers or bring me food to.

In the future, I need to eat even if I'm feeling bad and nothing sounds good to me. I will try to tell you what is going on with me, but keep in mind sometimes I can't get the words out until later. If you decide you are going to have takeout, please tell me you are and ask me again if I want something.

Try to remember you didn't do anything wrong here. I think you already get that he tried by the way you put things.

I'm sorry you had a bad day. It makes it all feel wose with the cfs, doesn't it?

I'm going to point some things out that I sometimes forget. It may be true for you too. Cold weather makes my symptoms worse. My time of the month (coming, going or current) may make my symptoms worse. Having a good cry can make me feel better. Stretching and/or resting sometimes makes the minor pains better. Over the counter pain killer is best taken at the first sign of a headache coming on, and also makes a world of difference for other pains. Heating pads help pain better than pain killer. I like one that includes lavendar, but the one made of beans is a good back up when I lost my good one.

Oh yeah, and sometimes it just sucks and we can't do a thing about it.

If you can't scream aloud, find a way to do it silently. Here are some possibilities. Imagine doing so in your head. Clench and unclench your muscles. Beat up a pillow when no one is looking. Take a slow drink of water. Find a shoulder to cry on. Cry really hard in the shower because no one can see or hear. Sing a song that fits your mood, then sing a song that fits a mood you would like to be in. I like oldies for this. Listen to music if you just can't bring yourself to sing.

I know, you just wanted to vent. Type too fast, give too much advice... I hope something makes you feel better in all that.

I'm so sorry you are suffering and are so frustrated with this horrible disease.

I second everything FlyingChicklet said! I call my husband Mr. Oblivious because if he doesn't trip over me he doesn't know I'm around. He's just not intuitive and I have to ask for what I want and need. Sigh.

I know it's hard sometimes, but like you, I have to focus on the supportive and caring part that you mention you also get from your husband. Please feel free to vent anytime - we definitely understand. Take care.