Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...
Hi all
I am struggling with a decision that I have to make.
I have realized that instead of getting better, which I thought I was, I am actually just managing my symptoms better. I figured this out when I increased my hours at work and then started getting flare ups to the point at which I thought I was relapsing. Needless to say I have now decreased my hours back to 4 per week from 8-11 per week.
At the moment my plan is to get my degree completed next year (I have three papers left). If I do one paper next semester (starting late Feb) it is 3 hours of lecture time plus study time at home. I know that this will be a struggle and will flare up my symptoms like working does but I would like to get it completed as my partner and I are planning on leaving the city in 2015.
I wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future. I obviously dont want to do this if it will make it worse or add on years to my recovery. But on the other hand, do I just need to do it?? Get it done then sit back with my degree and wait until I can use it by actually getting a job??
I know myself and I know that if I have an assignment to complete, Ill do it, I wont listen to my body when I need to rest as I cannot rest if I have something that important to complete.
I am sure a lot of you have been in my position with trying to plan your future so I am hoping that someone may have some advice for me.
The papers can be done by correspondence but I know that I would find that really hard but then I think, well if I was well then it may be easier then doing it in class next year unwell
I am struggling with a decision that I have to make.
I have realized that instead of getting better, which I thought I was, I am actually just managing my symptoms better. I figured this out when I increased my hours at work and then started getting flare ups to the point at which I thought I was relapsing. Needless to say I have now decreased my hours back to 4 per week from 8-11 per week.
At the moment my plan is to get my degree completed next year (I have three papers left). If I do one paper next semester (starting late Feb) it is 3 hours of lecture time plus study time at home. I know that this will be a struggle and will flare up my symptoms like working does but I would like to get it completed as my partner and I are planning on leaving the city in 2015.
I wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future. I obviously dont want to do this if it will make it worse or add on years to my recovery. But on the other hand, do I just need to do it?? Get it done then sit back with my degree and wait until I can use it by actually getting a job??
I know myself and I know that if I have an assignment to complete, Ill do it, I wont listen to my body when I need to rest as I cannot rest if I have something that important to complete.
I am sure a lot of you have been in my position with trying to plan your future so I am hoping that someone may have some advice for me.
The papers can be done by correspondence but I know that I would find that really hard but then I think, well if I was well then it may be easier then doing it in class next year unwell
On the other, sometimes we can use things like this to help balance us, to keep our minds occupied on positive things that move us forward and to have sense of purpose. That's how I was when I was at my most sickly ... almost bedfast. I kept working (from home, computer work) and was able to do it without any pain (whereas all other tasks, even brushing my hair was painful) and it really helped pull me through in mind and spirit, even if it was fairly taxing on my body.
Maybe think of it as a mind/body/spirit question and see where your balance is. Would helping the mind and spirit balance out adding some stress on the body?
If it were me (and it was at one point, full time work/full time school at night), I'd bring along a voice recorder to record the lectures. (Or, Let your prof know you are disabled and they may have some notes already available for you typed up they can copy for you.) Taking written or even typed notes might be too hard. Then you can listen to them when you are having a good day and either type them up or use software to type for you (I do this at doctors appts as well with their permission).
You don't say what your degree will be in, but these days there is so much you can do from home via computer that if it's an occupation you might be able to do that way, mores the better. You could have a remission period at any time and having the degree to use even just then will be worth it.
I have a degree I am not currently using, but I will never regret getting it. Just the experience of being handed that higher education diploma is so life affirming!
Also, I agree with mechelle - having a goal sometimes just gets us out of bed and that's important as well.
I believe in breaking large goals into small manageable pieces and being persistent enough to knock them off one at a time. With CFS you will have many, many pieces and it may take a loooong time to get to where you are going. Yet I think that having something to focus on outside of your illness will actually help your healing process.
I'm still at that stage where I get huge satisfaction from doing something that I really should not be expected to accomplish with my current challenges. Yes, I sometimes pay the price with mega-crashes .. sometimes there is no crash at all. Either way, its worth trying.
First let me say I do understand your situation. I've been working on a book for a couple of years. I've gotten great reviews from other writers and I feel positive about it and badly want to see it done. It is getting closer to getting published, but I've had to cut back on my work lately. You and I only have so much energy available for life. Day to day and month to month we have to choose what to put that energy into. We have learned from painful experience that just working hard or harder is not a good solution for us.
Good luck on finding the wisdom to make the best choices. For me one of the things I won't cut out is playing with the grandkids. If I can't do that, then I can't do anything else.