Norske, when names are in black, that means they've blocked you, or you've blocked them. It's ridiculous. My ES blocked me the first thing after joining FB. I think FB is just another avenue for people to hurt each other.

Remember the prodigal son repented to his father and asked for forgiveness after he realized what a horrible mistake he made. I would also wait and see what happens. Has he repented of the terrible thing he did and understand the full scope of it ?

Where I saw the names in either blue or black, was in his personal page of family. I know he used to have his wife's step mom's picture there but not any more. Maybe sometime I will ask him why he has her as his mother, but not ready for a confrontation yet.

No, Aaron has not repented nor has he made any excuses for his behavior the past 7 years. His wife told me that he is struggling with the loss of 7 years with his father.

Please do not rush into any changes in your will, Norske.

I agree with those here who say a repentance is necessary. That is what the prodigal father received. That is God's way with us,also, as his wayward children.

Our EC lose so much family time during estrangement.

Norske,

I will tell you how my in-laws have handled a different situation. My husband comes from a family with 3 children. My husband and his sister have always been able to support themselves so they only had help getting their college education. They have never asked for anything from their parents other than that. The middle son, however, went to dental school which was a larger and longer investment plus he needed help in buying a dental practice and he was not a good handler of finances. Since then he has gotten out of that practice but his parents have forgiven his debt but are not leaving him anything in their will. They discussed this with all three of the children so that everyone was aware of the situation. So, if you wish to change your will and bring in your other son I would follow the others who advised you to talk with your son who has always been there for you to get his feelings. If he is ok with sharing 50/50, then go forward. If not, see if there is a smaller percentage that he would be ok with. This way at least he has had his say and is aware of your arrangements. Hopefully, he can be forgiving and realize that it may be good for the family to be inclusive. Just my two cents worth.

Thank you all, and whymom I appreciated how your in-laws handled things. I do believe I need to wait awhile and hopefully God will not take me before I feel confident that ES and DIL are truly back in my life and my son's life and not just here during his dad's illness and passing. I will take my time thinking this through.

Norske, as I have read through all of the different views here, this one thought kept coming to my mind, so I am going to throw it out here and just give as food for thought....whatever you decide, as you are now the only parent left, once you are home with the Lord and your DH, what you do in your will, your children will have to live with for the rest of their lives that this was your last thoughts of them....so ask yourself what your last message would be to them, because money talks a language all its own...and whatever message you leave with your money to them will effect them the rest of their lives and you won't have a chance from the grave to correct a mistake if you make one...Less money might not be interpreted as "I made a mistake with my parents and this is my consequences, but instead be heard as "I got less money, so they loved me less" and believe me that is one of the worst things a parent can do to a child...I know...I am that loved less kid!