caneglect - I like your last sentence.

I would change all your stuff to show your gs as beneficiary, set aside an amount designated for his college and then spend the rest traveling and enjoying your life. Remember if you do a will to put the Intentional Exclusion clause in it, excluding your ED.

Where do you think you will travel to first?

I want to go back to Jost Van Dyke (the British Virgin Islands) I would actually like to take up the offer I was given a few years back to work at the restaurant and bar:) I love where I live now (or am partially living) but I do want to start traveling again .....you know when I retired a few years ago I did it with the intention of spending more time with my grandson.....and I did for about a year until dealing with my daughter just became so unbearable I would just meet her (which she reluctantly did on occasion) and bring my gs up to our cabin. I got tired of going up every week and cleaning her house, forking over cash and then being treated like crap. Strange how in three years my plans have been totally circumvented. I also want to travel to Italy and Portugal and I think I am going to start making new plans for my future.....You know I didn't inherit anything from my parents and I worked for everything I have and I am a truly grateful person....I tried so hard to give my daughter the best and it truly backfired in my face, No she doesn't deserve anything really and why would I reward such atrocious behavior? I won't.

I am with you caneglect...we have bypassed daughter totally...all goes to GK's thru a trust...at least whatever is left...since I believe we earned it...we should spend it...not stupidly of course just our time to enjoy after all these years of hard work and then estrangement to top it off...time for us now

AllK

My Will is in place . My ED will get my Bible along with letters I've written to her about how this entire thing has made me feel during her estrangement .

Barbell - we did the same and it was liberating. We moved to a new city, found a new church, met new people and love to travel. I have other friends who have gone the 5th wheeler route and are enjoying live and all the beauty of the earth/scenery that God has provided for us. Traveling is so much fun.

I have always felt that we would be a part of our ES's life forever, enjoying helping out with grandchildren, maybe all taking a Disney cruise, etc. but that isn't happening.

I am wondering if God is trying to tell me that my ES was on loan to my DH and me. We raised him in the traditional Ozzie & Harriet life, he was very involved in our church, and then met gf/wife and became estranged.

As the estrangement continues, I believe God made me for more than being a mom. Being a mom is/was important, but our children are on loan to us. I am now asking God what other plans he has for me in this life. I am already experiencing some of the things God wants me to do. Life is such a journey.

May God Bless us all and give us the comfort that we all so desperately need.

Norske, the money in a living trust is taxed on your personal tax. When you die, the living trust becomes an irrevocable trust with a separate trust ID tax number.

You would need to consult an attorney or tax consultant about the nursing home thing.

The difference in the living trust and the IRA are two different instruments. The IRA can have a beneficiary that is not your spouse if your spouse signs off on it. Other wise, I think, it will go to your spouse. You can also put on POD (paid on death) beneficiary on most bank accounts. That way you name who you want to receive the money which could include a trust.

A 20 minute conversation with a financial local financial person at your bank, tax advisor, or financial planner could answer more or give you direction who to talk with.

Barbell, I agree with you 100% when you say that as long as parents keep taking these EC back, we are condoning this evil and encouraging it.

The Bible does not tell us to stay in the presence of evil people. We are to pray for them, witness, and go on with our lives. Somehow our EC turned on the wrong road and only they have the will to turn back toward good.

It hurts so much to say these things but they are true. I also feel my ED has tried to kill me. There is no other way to describe why someone would be so hateful and spiteful.

I watched and listened to my mom for 4 years before she died, cry and ask me to bring my ED to see her. ED never did. I had my GS during spring break when mom died. I swear to this day, I believe my mom held out that week thinking my ED would come see her. She never would.. Of course, I never saw her either but that is not the point here. To see a 91 year old frail woman who worshipped my ED beg me to bring my ED to see her, was something I cannot forget. It is also shades of what I think my final years would be like. No more.

Weary, Our ED will not come see her sick 93 year old grandmother, either. It is very sad for my mother and so hard to explain. Our ED felt close to her grandmother and sat in church with her every Sunday. The enemy has done so much destruction of relationships. It is not the ways of The Lord.

Same hear. My ED would go to Chicago and visit my mom while she lived there. Once she moved to Atlanta where I lived, I really think my ED knew there was no money coming her way and she just "ditched' my mom.

She has also done that to my dear aunt who is now 91. Hasn't see her, called her, thrown a rock at her for 5 years now.

I sure don't want to be that age and think I have a daughter who will be there for me and then "poof", no daughter. Don't want to spend my life in denial any longer

wearyofitall - thanks for the clarification on trusts, etc. We plan to meet with our tax advisor this summer. Our one adult child who is close to us doesn't have the best job and I want to make sure we leave him something. He would never ever ask us for a dime but he is all we have and he loves us so much.

I am so saddened about how your EDs are treating their grandparents. That is not God's plan at all.

I am just accepting the fact that my ED does not love me. You can't force anyone to feel love for you. She is still in my will. However, in a reduced amount, but still substantial. My father left me nothing and gave his other daughters every thing he had. I just don't want her to have an excuse to say, that I didn't love her,cause if I did I would have left her money. The bible says, be nice to your enemies,because by doing so you reap coals over their head. It hurts me my father didn't leave me any money. But he did entrust me with a photograph of his mother. I don't know how to feel about this. And I don't wish this hurt on anyone including my daughter.