CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Hi everyone. I started a post the other night and for some reason it got deleted. I'll try to quickly outline my situation.
Son went to college, always lived at home and seemed happy with that. Most of his friends lived alone.
9 months ago he was offered an assistantship to go for his masters. the assistantship pays his tuition and a monthly stipend for working on a project.
8 weeks ago I got an email from a credit monitoring company about someone checking our credit. it was a property management company. asked my hubby if our son was looking at moving out. he said yes, he had known about this for about 2 weeks. my son asked him not to tell me so he could. but all this time son was looking at apartments and had done everything but sign a lease.
son moved out about 3 weeks later.
he sometimes texts, this past week called a couple of times but before that we usually had to call or text him before we heard from him. i found that quite disappointing.
i know it was probably time for him to move out but I find it disappointing that we have to be the ones to reach out to him, that most literature seems to make us think this is normal so that they can develop their adult identity. WHY? I never lived apart from my parents until I got married and I developed my adult identity.
anyway, we were going to have to smoke some meat for my niece and originally my son was the person who comitted to this and he told us he would help. the time they need this is next Saturday. I stupidly hoped this might mean our son would be here for most of the day helping us. found out today he already has plans for next weekend, can't help and I was just extremely disappointed. my mistake for thinking before knowing reality, but .....
when i told my husband he immediately got frustrated with me, asked when I was going to get over the disappointment of him not spending any time with us, asked what I was going to do when he got married. Geez he's only been moved out for 6 weeks, I have only had this in my mind for 9 weeks. Why are men so out of touch with FEELINGS and, in some respects JERKS!!!!
My rant for the day.
Son went to college, always lived at home and seemed happy with that. Most of his friends lived alone.
9 months ago he was offered an assistantship to go for his masters. the assistantship pays his tuition and a monthly stipend for working on a project.
8 weeks ago I got an email from a credit monitoring company about someone checking our credit. it was a property management company. asked my hubby if our son was looking at moving out. he said yes, he had known about this for about 2 weeks. my son asked him not to tell me so he could. but all this time son was looking at apartments and had done everything but sign a lease.
son moved out about 3 weeks later.
he sometimes texts, this past week called a couple of times but before that we usually had to call or text him before we heard from him. i found that quite disappointing.
i know it was probably time for him to move out but I find it disappointing that we have to be the ones to reach out to him, that most literature seems to make us think this is normal so that they can develop their adult identity. WHY? I never lived apart from my parents until I got married and I developed my adult identity.
anyway, we were going to have to smoke some meat for my niece and originally my son was the person who comitted to this and he told us he would help. the time they need this is next Saturday. I stupidly hoped this might mean our son would be here for most of the day helping us. found out today he already has plans for next weekend, can't help and I was just extremely disappointed. my mistake for thinking before knowing reality, but .....
when i told my husband he immediately got frustrated with me, asked when I was going to get over the disappointment of him not spending any time with us, asked what I was going to do when he got married. Geez he's only been moved out for 6 weeks, I have only had this in my mind for 9 weeks. Why are men so out of touch with FEELINGS and, in some respects JERKS!!!!
My rant for the day.
For myself, once God got 2 Tim 3:2 into my head in regard to what times we are living in and made me see the truth of who the real enemy is in this verse also: Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places, I have just had to readjust my perception of the reality of my situation with my ES, the evil in this current world has gotten into them and they are not in their right minds, nor should I take this personally because they are being used as a tool of satan, pure and simple.
As for our husbands....oh boy that is a whole other chapter and verse but I have learned that the best thing is to find a woman I can trust to share my heart with and my tears!
Sounds like you have a good handle on how to deal with your son to me and are a good daughter to your own parents! Just know you have friends here who really do relate to your situation and your feelings!