It helps to read stories in the Bible where people had to struggle and wait a long time before they understood the suffering like Joseph. Know God isn't going to stop working on your daughter. When you feel more stressed it may mean she needs more prayer at that time.

Great point! How long did Joseph suffer in his journey from the pit to the palace? A long long time.
It's nothing new ... it's hard to see what God is doing when you're in the pit ... but we still need to take those great examples of hope God has given us in the Bible and have patience and trust Him that He is working. It ain't over till it's over.
Just remember, YOU AND GOD ARE A MAJORITY! It doesn't matter who is against us when God is with us. Trust Him!

My Mother used to say ...they haven't finished their lives yet. She was a wise, Christian woman. There may be issues we don't know about, the Lord knows .. All we are able to do is love them and wait.

People who have not experienced this situation just don't understand the complexity of the situation and will never be able to give advice that will work in our situation. You are in the right place here with us to share and learn to cope with the awful abandonment. Lord help us all and give us wisdom!!!

With great love,
Betty

I believe a more meaningful path would be to examine your role in the reasons she has become distant to the point of no contact. Words are meaningless, especially when it is clear she has strong feelings about actions or lack thereof. Since you are clearly a loving mother, why does she not feel and believe in your love already, without a letter? (Something to think about)

You old-timers on this site are a font of wisdom and experience, strength and hope.

Family sayings are good, Ruth. Often lot of wisdom there as you pointed out. When I was about 40 years old, I started calmly stating to younger ones, "Check back with me in 20 years and see if you still feel the same."

Bella, with my sometimes ironic point of view...there must be times you fairly ITCH to let THE Koch brothers know, hahahaha. You can always have that as a hilarious fantasy....!

Letters and phone calls or emails IMO tend not to work so great because oft-times instead of a person being able to read with mind in "neutral" it's more like being on-guard so something is LOOKED for to be offended. Another saying I've long had is, "Unless there is NO DOUBT you ARE being offended...chalk it up to poor wording, something that can be viewed in two different ways, etc."

As for letters...to decently address it takes some wordage, I'd think...and I just read this morning that FACEBOOK has discernibly shortened attention spans (!) and for many people who didn't grow up reading books and newspapers, anything longer than a tweet or similar length text makes their eyes glaze. WE used to skim...nowadays they click to the next message deleting as they go.

That is precisely the reason I don't share our estrangement story with "outsiders" at all (even though the entire community knows of it). Only my family and 2 or 3 close girlsfriends know the real deal. It's too complicated, with too many details and too much hurt to listen to opinions and suggestions from even well-meaning Christian friends. My husband is more open about it with his friends and Bible study group. He doesn't break down and cry as easily as I do, so it's less risky for him. And we all deal with the disappointment and broken heart differently.
As for the question - if letters help bridge the gap... I don't know. Pray and do what the Lord leads you to do. I know the wait is painful, but there is much growth and a continued strong dependence on the Lord in that time. You cannot make someone care, and you are only responsible to God for yourself and your heart and subsequent actions.
Hugs

We do our best to raise our children best way we know how.what they do as adults we are unable to control. It is very disappointing and upsetting but as pointed out we have to accept what has happened and live one day at a time and trust that The Lord knows everything.