I am so glad they were able to correct your kidney problem. I will pray for you to heal completely. Please rest!

I believe your DIL is doing the right thing. During this their separation time I pray your son will get the help he needs for their marriage and for his well being. The Lord could use this time to heal the family too. It is certainly not your fault. Do not blame yourself.

God bless you and please keep us updated.

What a mess - hang in there, sister. So are you and DIL talking now?

My DIL and I have talked quite a bit. We were having a wonderful time day 1 but all that changed at 3 am. We talked seriously the next day as the craziness continued. She's called 3 times to check in to check on me and update me on their situation.

It is a blessing to have this kind of relationship with your DIL.

Wow, 3 kidneys... how intriquing. But what a time you have had. Hope healing goes smooth.

As for son....he does sound very out of control of what a marriage is to be if he is bothered by his wife (your DIL) taking time for herself with a retreat and one with his own mother present. What a drama about it all.

It is off balance and hope he does get help needed ... Prayers for keeping strong and supporting DIL and hope son eventually sees the light.

More prayers.

I'm a newbie in this group so forgive me if I'm not up to speed on your situation with your son. I read your last two posts and was wondering if he has a mental health diagnosis. His behaviour sounded like bipolar to me. I have a close family member affected with bp.
You are stressed out beyond belief. I will pray for you.

Katie, We are thankful you found this site. I pray it will be a blessing and a support to you.

Praying for all of you, especially your son who Satan is having a field day with.

I don't know if he has a mental health issue, he has never been diagnosed with one. I know he's very sad and mad and upset right now that she is standing her ground in not returning home for a "while" as in weeks or months until he gets himself under control. While it is a horrible situation, God can use this to bring him into submission of his will and he can use this as a wake up call to get his life together and under control. He is supposed to contact a therapist today about treatment. My DIL texted me last night saying she wants to remain married to him and wants to return home but she wants to be in a marriage where she has freedom to move around, freedom to make choices, and freedom to see friends and family. She also wants to work and wants him to work. None of that is asking for too much. He won't lose her if he will just get some help and stop being so overbearing.

I'm still in quite a bit of pain. The stent they put in is very uncomfortable and I have to have it in for 6 weeks. No one had any idea that I had 3 kidneys but it's great that it was semi functional and isn't damaged. Now it has the proper drainage into my bladder and should be as healthy as the others. The surgeon's nurse called to check in on me this afternoon and schedule my aftercare appointment for May.

It sounds like a wise decision that your son gets help from a therapist. Is it s Christian counselor. They often meet with the person for a while and then bring the couple in also. God can work in mighty ways. I am glad he is willing to do it.

Please rest recover completely. Praying for you.

I'm trying to rest as much as I can. I got a text from her saying he showed up at her class. She is asking us to talk with him seriously before she's forced to get a restraining order. I knew things had gotten bad between he and I but I didn't realize how bad things were between them. He worked very hard to keep everyone from knowing he was being a tyrant. Now that she's been away from him a few days she's starting to see how controlling he's been and how unhappy she is in the situation. All I want to do is go to bed and rest, but we have to also talk with him seriously before he ruins any chance of saving his marriage. I'm in bed resting, my husband is on the phone with him out in the car to keep our daughter from hearing the conversation. He needs to get some treatment and possibly go on medication until he's in better control of himself. Please pray for the situation and please pray for me as this stent is more painful than they said it would be. I know God is working on the situation but I expect it to get a lot worse before it gets better. Please pray for the whole situation.

Lucy, I pray you're feeling better very soon. I'm also glad your son is seeking therapy. I don't speak about this often since it was a painful part of my much younger life, but I was once engaged many years ago to a man that behaved very similarly to how your describing your son's behavior. I had absolutely no freedom. He would call me at work multiple times each day, follow me, accuse me of seeing other people, he was absolutely never trusting of me. His anger was frightening. Whenever I would try to break off the relationship, he would become nice, buying me gifts, and promise to seek help for his temper. That never happened, and my family actually had to intervene out of fear for my safety. That was a very frightening time, and I'm really grateful you have open communication with your dil. I'm sure she finds it very comforting. I pray your son seeks the Lord's help, so their marriage can become healthy. Hugs and blessings.....

Thank you Sommersmom, I'm hoping the Lord takes hold of this situation before he loses her. I would feel sad if this young marriage ended because he was being a tyrant. I know he has good in him, I know he has a good heart deep down, but he has got to get control over himself because none of this is healthy or normal married behavior. We are concerned for him and my DIL is now talking and texting me a lot since the retreat. She and I have messaged and talked more in the past 4 days than we have in the nearly 2 years that he's been with her. It's a shame that it took something this extreme to open that dialogue between she and I but if he can get the help he needs and if they can work on things it might actually end with us all being closer. I hope that's what happens, I hope this doesn't drive us all further apart. I hope it doesn't end in divorce. They are young and while he's acting in a way that is unsafe I do think there is help out there for him. I really don't know what is at the root of his obsession with her. You can love a person a lot without having to freak out every time they aren't near you. I don't know what is at the root of this obsessive behavior but maybe a therapist can help him figure it out. She chose a therapist for him to go to that is male and is a christian and he made the first appointment available so I'm hoping God will use this as a way to work on him. I don't want to see him lose his marriage because he tried to hold her so tight it was smothering her. I'm beginning to think that part of his need for estrangement was so that we wouldn't find out how bad things were in their marriage. It's all exposed now, so I'm hoping something good comes from bringing the infection to the surface.

I'm trying to take a step back. I've told her I needed to rest and couldn't talk more today, I had my husband talk with him about not making her get a restraining order and allowing her to have her space. He said he's willing to do that so we'll see. For now, I'm going to bed, my pain is through the roof tonight inside my kidney so I need to just go rest.

Thank you for your prayers and your kind words of support.

lucy please let your doctor know how painful the stent is....it may have moved out of it's proper location....I had a stent once after a kidney biopsy...mine was in the urethra though and it was so horribly painful I was screaming in the hospital and I finally pulled it out myself.....it had a string attached to it for removal.....I am just letting you know I know how horribly painful stents can be.....so please call the doctor and ask them if they can take it out....if there is any way they can......praying for you...

Renal stents are temporarily left in place when the urologist feels their are stones or "slush" that still needs to pass through the ureter following a Lithotripsy procedure to remove kidney stones. Without the stent, the stones may cause tearing to the ureter if it's very narrow. It is sometimes painful. Hopefully, your physician will remove it quickly, and give you some relief.