A couple of months ago I asked you all if you thought it a good idea for DH and I to take a break from one of our ES who had been barraging us with texts, email, phone calls to remind us of what terrible parents we are and how wrong we are for not approving of his gf. We did take a break for one month. We transmitted that message via my MIL and our ES did comply and let us be for a month. It was a month of huge relief. After the first week or so I started getting out a little and even exercised a few times. My DH and I got energized and inspired and made plans to bring my parents to visit their our ancestor's country for two weeks. We did that a couple of weeks ago now and did not tell any of our EC (they never would notice anyhow) we were out of the country. The one month break from our ES was so good and aside from one phone call from him in between it was probably about 6 weeks total before he started getting after us again.

Now, he started again a week ago with an email. It actually sounded like he cared in the email so we replied hesitantly but honestly and in love. Yesterday we got back an 8 paragraph email outlining all the reasons we are wrong and bad parents. My day was hijacked, all my plans were sabotaged and I was paralyzed with enormous sadness. Not wanting an email "war" back and forth, I phoned him. He didn't answer and messaged me that I could email or message him. I did not. Thankfully he phoned me back two hours later. I was crying still but he still started to yell at me. I begged him to quit and to stop sending us emails like that because they are killing us. He softened a bit and listened for a while. I cried for the whole conversation. In the end he said he'll "think about" things. I don't know what to expect next. Rather than good news that I was hoping for last time I guess I need to be prepared for him to lambast us again. He goes back and forth jerking us up and down - he says how much he loves us and then tells us all the reasons we're terrible parents. (We adopted all of our three from an orphanage when they were young teens. Terrible people we are.)

All this pity party here I guess to sort out my thoughts. I am paralyzed again today. I now need to overnight (because I didn't do it yesterday) a birthday card to our ED for tomorrow or we'll be in the dog house with her - even though she doesn't speak to us - she'll tell everyone we didn't send her anything. I feel deflated and defeated and that our future is really going to be a nightmare rather than all the wonderful things we were hoping for way back when. Our ES, who we thought got the message that we don't want to have this kind of contentious "warring" relationship, did not seem to get the message. He started back up as soon as he felt like it. He will do that every day if I let him. I guess we could give him another one month break edict but it seems like we might just be sealing future non-communication. Our other two almost never communicate with us but this ES needs all the attention he can get and doesn't mind if he has to start conflict to get more of it. We had spoken to him twice after getting back from vacation - both times cautious and courteous - we never brought up up any contentious issues. But he couldn't leave well enough alone and now were sitting on eggshells waiting for the next bomb he's going to drop. What a way to live. Meanwhile, I see him posting silly selfies on fb today. Life is light and fun for him, apparently. I am just barely mustering the energy to walk 4 blocks to the post office. I guess I just know that there are some of you all in similar situations that will understand. We all probably don't have a lot of places to share all this so thanks for letting me do it here. Praying the Lord will comfort and give wisdom to us all.