if he is not willing to work on things and change , what can you do? what about counseling? you can't control what other people do. Only he can do that , you can tell him what you think he should do but ultimately it is his choice.He is also an adult now. Imagine this has been Gods position since the dawn of man, and he set out specific laws and guidelines for mankind to follow but they refused and hurt God tremendously. I would probably tell him that I would be willing to see a counselor with him , and see what he says. If he refuses atleast you tried.

I have offered to help him MANY times, even invited him to move home for awhile. He lives 500 miles away, so it's hard to just up & go see him. My PMR & arthritis makes it difficult for me to travel long distances. He knows this, & calling us drunk leaves us feeling helpless. I really must have done something really wrong with my children. I don't think I was meant to be a mother..I also think it's the end of times.

I am sure you did your best. We all did. Only God is perfect. Their is so much rebellion against God's authority and parents in these last days.

You can encourage him to get help even look up rehabs in his area for him but we can not force adult children. The worst thing we can do for our EC with any problems, including addiction, is to enable them.

May Gid give you wisdom as you pray and guide or son when he calls.

Listen, you are up against alcoholism. It is a monster, and it has nothing to do with you. Have you tried AA meetings?

lindajoan, he & I were on the phone several times looking up rehabs & AA meetings. My brother is a recovered alcoholic, & I am thinking of having him call my son.

That's a good idea. Your brother would know best how to help him.
You're NOT a bad mother. He probably got into the wrong crowd.
When he's had enough he'll have no choice but to seek treatment.

Thank you Alana. It's hard not to think it's my fault. I know that's little red trying to influence me. There are no AA or alanon meetings here in my small town, I wish there were. The closest meeting is an hour & a half drive & I don't like to drive at night as my eyesight isn't what it used to be.

It is certainly not your fault, Gordos. I pray that your brother can be of help to him.

Gordos, is there a support group on here for Alcoholism? Maybe you could find a support group online similar to this one here and find some support and encouragement there for the Alcoholism specifically. Its been a long long time since I attended ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholics) Support groups, so I really don't think I'd be much support in the areas you need.

Also, you mentioned your brother has the same problem. I have been reading and studying a lot lately how these kinds of problems come down in family blood lines not only genetically but spiritually as well. As a parent and a believer, you have a right before God to stand in the gap and pray for the deliverance of your son from the Alcoholism. You can fight with little red for your children in prayer. By your righteousness you have certain authority over your children spiritually that gives you the power to rebuke the devil and ask God for their deliverance out of his hands.

Recently I fasted and DH and I prayed together for our children's deliverance, and a few days later our son called DH. I have fasted and prayed many times in the past 6 years for their deliverance, so don't mean to indicate it is a battle quickly or easily won, but I do believe our prayers and my fasting have greatly helped!.

lostall3, I have been rebuking satan on behalf of my children for the last year. I know it's genetic, both the depression & alcoholism. Both my parents were severe alcoholics, as were my grandparents. My mother was bi-polar & in & out of mental hospitals her whole life. From what Ive been told, she received electric shock therapy hundreds of times. I also believe in generational sin & generational curses. God said in the bible, to quite a few people "I will curse the generations to come after you" I have asked God to cleanse & heal my family bloodline back to Adam & Eve. I cannot fast, because of the medications I take. I hardly have an appetite anymore, so I do the best I can. I went to church today & prayed, I am feeling a little better now. I appreciate all the replies & support.

Gordos completely understand about the fasting, my DH has health issues too! My heart goes out to you, sounds as if you have had a lot of hurt and sadness in your life! I am happy to hear how much you know about generational curses too! That is exactly what DH and I prayed specifically about!

I believe with all my heart that the more the devil attacks us, the more hardship and affliction we face, the more confirmation this is that we must really be a threat to the devil for him to expend so much energy coming against us so much!

I admire you Gordos, for all you've done to help your EC! You clearly are a spiritual warrior!

Thank you lostall3! I try to do the best I can to help save them. I have my days where I have doubts that God hears me. I know now, that every negative emotion I have is from the evil one. I just rebuked him again after receiving a text from my son. I have had a lot of sadness & trauma from my childhood. The empty nest thing hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew I would have a hard time, but this is ridiculous. I just want to experience true happiness, if even for a day, for the first time in my life. My eyes are starting to show all the crying & sadness, I am only 48, but look 60 right now.

God bless you, Gordos. May the good Lord restore joy unto you and all of us.

Thank you lindajoan

Have you had a long heart to heart with your Pastor. Some times they know of resources that can help us and them. At this point I feel like I have no answers and am going backward deeper into that dark, scary place as I was in the beginning of all of this. ES is being much more resentful, nasty and with Christmas and always being together as a family, I keep feeling like I am losing ground. I wish I had lots of answers for you but I do have lots of prayers and hugs for you. A new nursing home recently opened near us and I am going to go talk to the administrator about volunteering. They probably need people since it is new. I want to help others and try to get out of this self pity-party. My heart is with you