CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Sometimes I wonder if God is saying that I am not a good mom and that is why I am estranged. My only son would probably not call us estranged. I hear from him once in a blue moon. But it is minimal and he does not include me in much of his life nor keep me informed. He is very hot and cold. Sometimes he includes me and tells me he loves me and other times he tells me I am horrible mother to him.
I re-married 5 years ago and my husband's adults kids don't show much of an interest in me, either. They don't acknowledge me when we meet or if they come to our home. They don't say thank-you for gifts I buy them. They don't wish me happy birthday. And they certainly have nothing to do with me on Mothers' Day! At Christmas they buy me a cheap "group" gift. I don't want to seem ungrateful....it's the thought that counts. Right? But the gift shows no thought. They all pitch in and buy me something that might cost at the most $5. This is from all11 of them! We buy all the kids and their spouses and children gifts. They acknowledge their father, but not me.
Is God telling me that it is my fault? Is it becasue I have failed in the mother department so badly and that is why all of this is happening to me?
I am a retired school teacher. I love children! I can't believe that I have not been able to experience motherhood to it's fullest.
My sisters tell me that I was a great mother. My friends tell me that I am a very nuturing person. My husband tells me that I am very kind and loving to his kids as well as mine. So why don't I have a good relationship with my son or my step-children?
I re-married 5 years ago and my husband's adults kids don't show much of an interest in me, either. They don't acknowledge me when we meet or if they come to our home. They don't say thank-you for gifts I buy them. They don't wish me happy birthday. And they certainly have nothing to do with me on Mothers' Day! At Christmas they buy me a cheap "group" gift. I don't want to seem ungrateful....it's the thought that counts. Right? But the gift shows no thought. They all pitch in and buy me something that might cost at the most $5. This is from all11 of them! We buy all the kids and their spouses and children gifts. They acknowledge their father, but not me.
Is God telling me that it is my fault? Is it becasue I have failed in the mother department so badly and that is why all of this is happening to me?
I am a retired school teacher. I love children! I can't believe that I have not been able to experience motherhood to it's fullest.
My sisters tell me that I was a great mother. My friends tell me that I am a very nuturing person. My husband tells me that I am very kind and loving to his kids as well as mine. So why don't I have a good relationship with my son or my step-children?
It was wonderful to see that I am not alone. But I am sad that so many of you suffer from the same hurt. I also have asked God for forgiveness for where I failed. I have gone to my son and apologized for my imperfections. I have made ammends. I think now I have to move on and that is what I am starting to do. I like what lostall said...the enemy is messing with our heads! God does not continually slap us in the face over and over again. It was good to be reminded of this.
At this point in my life, DH and I have moved a fair distance from our kids. We were tired of being rejected, so we made our life somewhere else. We travel and have made many good friends in our country. Family and good friends visit us regularly in or new home.
I am working at detaching with love. If I feel led to give to any of the kids, I do so and practice unconditional love by trying not to expect anything in return. I am also working at thinking positively and being grateful for what I do have. I love the Lord with all my heart and I believe that He has given us a fresh start.
I am also praying about being a surrogate mom/grandma to a young missionary family who has moved out here away from all that is familar to them. The young parents are about the age of our adult children.
I have enjoyed communicating with and praying for many of you on this site. For that I am truly grateful!!!