Tikva I have an ED but I also have 3 sons. Guys take a lot longer to mature. It is very difficult for a teen to raise a baby or even have a desire to do so. I can remember the stage my boys were at when they were 18 and that is not where there minds were. I do think as he gets older he will think differently and want to be in his child's life. Then, God willing, you will share in your gs's life. God is not finished with our EC, yet, especially the young ones like your son. Keep praying and keep moving forward one day at a time. God bless you.

Thank you lindajoan. I know my son is not ready to actually be a father. He just was fertile one night. There is a big difference. I have to commend him for trying to be the baby's father for a little while when he was with his first girlfriend. But when a couple is not together, and they have never been married, it just seems the young man finds it easier to walk away. As a mother I can't bear the thought of walking away from my child, but I know many people have had to realease a child for adoption so I try to liken it to that.

I never realized how completely without rights a boy's parents are. They have no say in anything and are treated like enemies, even though their love for the child is the same as the girl's parents' love. As I think about people I have known who have gone through unmarried children's pregnancies, I have rarely seen the father's parents take a part. But now I wonder if some of them were just iced out.

Right now my son is at the top of his game as they say. He has a beautiful new girlfriend, he is living on his own, managing a segment of a catering company, and spending his money on what he wants. Being around a chubby, hyper-Christian mother, who is always asking questions must be a torment for him. So I am left making gluten free brownies for his girl friend who may say thank you on Facebook thus letting me know my son is still alive. A dream come true.

Not knowing the law regarding this it may have something to do with the fact that the couple was not married or that your son is not financially supporting the child. If so, he (and then you) would have more rights? Of course, he would have to have the desire to fight for it and it sure sounds as if that is not where his mind is right now. Which having 3 sons past that age I would say is very normal. They are not there, yet, at that young age and do not want to be tied down. They are still kids themselves even though they may be doing well in some areas of their lives. They need time to live and want freedom. My older 2 sons both married at age 27. They say a boy does not mature until their later 20s. I agree. I still have one at age 26 (single) that has not matured, yet. We need to give them time. In this world, today, I think the age of maturity is getting older and older. Nothing like our parents or our grandparents generation.

I pray, one day, the other grandparents may be bring you into this baby's life. Your gc has the right to know his father and you. God bless.

lindajoan My son could have gone for a DNA test when the baby was born or after which I encouraged him to do because the girl's parents were being so unkind and closed. But he chose not to do this. It had to be his choice. And in doing so he would have opened himself up to child support and the possibility of jail if he couldn't pay. He was an adult. He had to decide for himself, but I grieve the loss of his dear little boy who looked like my son's twin when he was a year old.

The girl was an only child, and I really believe that her parents, finding that their daughter was pregnant, decided that this would be their chance at having a son.

I just feel like a little piece of me has been taken by these people. He doesn't even know who I am, and he has probably forgotten his daddy already. That breaks my heart.

Tikva You are so right. It was your son's choice and I think he made the one that most young people his age would have made. I, also, agree that the baby's grandparents have the agenda that you mentioned.

Again, one day, when the baby is older questions will be asked by him and your son will be older by then and may think differently about getting to know his son. Then, you would get to know him too.

God bless you during this difficult time. You can keep the baby in prayer. You are a good mother and loving grandmother.