Dear Gordos, I am sorry you are feeling this way,I know you feel bad and sorry your husand isnt supportive for you.But we are and we understand.Not feeling well doesnt help either i wish there was apill to take all this away,or i wish i could be strong emotionally to handle all this,and wish i just didnt care i have seen some people reallycould care less.I know we have to get to a time where it comes like second nature but right we arenot there yet.Thinking of you my dear hang on

Thank you all, you have no idea how much better you all make me feel.. My husband does not wish to be as spiritual as I do. I have really worked hard in the last year esp. to grow my relationship with God & Jesus. My husband goes to church with me, but it isn't that important to him. He didn't like our last priest, so it was like pulling teeth to get him to go. We got a new priest 2 months ago, & he seems to like him better. It's hard to talk to someone about God, & they tell you "you are becoming a bible beater". As I have said before, my husband is ES's stepfather, so he doesn't feel it like I do, never has. Now, the problems with OUR son, he pays more attention to that. I have never told anyone else this before, but my husband said he hated my ES. That was 5 months ago, but it still stings whenever I think about it. He says he didn't mean it & it was said in the heat of anger.

We all say things we do not mean from time to time. Did your ES hear him or about it?

It is true. We can not force a spouse to church (or an adult child) until it means something to them personally. It is something that we must feel is feeding our spiritually hungry souls.

lindajoan, NO, my ES doesn't know his stepdad said that. Like I said, I have told no one. It would break ES's heart if I told him that. It would break our other sons hearts if they knew. I try really hard not to hurt others' feelings. It hurt me when he said it. I've been married for 23 years & there has never been TOTAL acceptance of my 2 oldest sons from my first marriage. My MIL is largely to blame for this (that's a whole other story, lol)

Gordos, it might be that he said that because he sees the pain your ES is putting your through. I know my husband has said similar things about my children, although not quite as strong as that.

May God grant us all His Shalom in our hearts.

Canadianmother, I know he was mad when he said it, because I had just gotten off the phone with ES & was crying horribly. But using the word "hate" didn't help me feel better. That to me signifies a lack of supportiveness that I needed at the time. Hating never makes anything better. I have forgiven him, but it took awhile.

I go through the same feelings Gordos, as most all of us do! We are human, and we feel so lost sometimes even when we keep praying and asking God to intervene and help us! I'm going through it now! It's not fun especially during the holidays. My DH has never met my ED's, but has spoken to my youngest on the phone when we weren't estranged. He doesn't express any emotions really, only says that I need to move on with my life. He has a son, but he still doesn't understand and I don't think he ever will. He only knows my ED's from my stories about them, he's supportive for the most part, but can't know how much it hurts, he's not a mother. I've lost both my ED's and I don't have any other children. It's sad, but I know God has a plan and I don't have to know what it is, I just have to trust and I'm having a hard time doing that too. I'm not fond of the holidays anymore, but hope to one day love them again.

texassunshine, thanks, it helps to know Im not in this boat alone.

You are not alone. I attended a wedding of my friend's daughter yesterday. Happy for them. Sad for us.