We were a happy, loving Christian family...then in 1997 my husband was killed in a car wreck with my eldest daughter (now my ED). She survived, with hardly a scratch. She was very close to her father. Neither daughter would hardly talk about him. They were 16 & 19. I know each person grieves differently (I am a grief group leader now) but they would not talk about him at all. The youngest daughter was into some rebellion before he passed but I thought she had made amends with him. Time passed, I grieved, cried and was open in my talking about it. It seems like a year or so later I had healed so much. I prayed that God would bring another wonderful Godly man into my life and 7 years later I married him. I was so happy. Now my girls were older and beginning to clearly run away from God. my ED moved to the L.A. area the other still in my city. The last few conversations I had with my ED I encouraged her that God loved her so much and to return to him. I did not hound her at all. She pretty much told me through indirect ways that she was angry to be raised a Christian. She said things like "I am angry to those that wrote the Christian books and produced the Kids Christian DVDS". I would gently tell her to keep talking to God and to keep the communication open. I NEVER shamed her or showed her anything but love. 3 1/2 years ago she wrote me a letter and it said to stop communicating with her. I was shocked, and still am. In those years she seemed to be drifting from God I would may talk to her every 9-12 months about God. And even then it was brief and meant to encourage. She has cut off the whole family and it is hard watching people like my mother reach out to her only to be hurt. I should mention she (ED) and my youngest ED have had many mental illness diagnoses such as anxiety, depression , bi-polar etc. I have tried to be supportive, took classes on it etc. Now my youngest daughter, who rarely communicates with me called me to tell me she is ANGRY at her father and he was a horrible father. I sat there in complete shock as she said he "did not love her" and went on and on about him. He was a WONDERFUL father and I do not see where she is coming from, but knew enough not to dispute anything except to tell her he DID love her very much. She is a very sensitive child (takes after me) but truly he was a great father. Now I am preparing to go back to see her (we are now 18 hours away from her) and to try to support her in any way I can. But this is SOOOO HARD listening to what I believe is lies from the enemy to destroy the memory of a wonderful and Godly man.
I just don't know how we got here. One minute a happy family of four and now I have one complete ED and the other partially so because she said her depression keeps her isolated so pretty much hardly any contact with her either. I have cried so much, prayed and I fast each and every Wednesday for my children to return to God and me. I pray for their emotional healing , spiritual healing , relationally healing and to see the Holy Spirit move in their lives to draw them to our awesome God. Now I am on staff at a church, States away, and sometimes I feel the enemy saying, "What right do you have to work with children when your own family is so messed up?"
Thank you for listening. I hit a wall last night after some very bad dreams about them and I am so tired but will hold my head up and trust God for them. I love them soooo much.