Norske, you and I are both feeling acute pain after several years of this estrangement. I emailed my son 2 days ago, the first contact I have made in 2.5 years. I only asked if I could see my grandchildren once in a while and bring them to a museum or wherever they would like me to meet them. I am going to print out the email and put it with my will and personal papers, so hopefully my grandchildren will know of my efforts to see them.
I guess I feel o.k. with my decision to do that, at least it is an attempt, whether it works or not. I doubt it since it has been 2 days. I won't ask them again. I really don't want a relationship any more with my son, I do not grieve for him. I hate to admit, that I am so disgusted with him I don't know how I could have a relationship with him again. He has given me the ultimate betrayal and I have lost any respect for him.

I was hanging by a thread for a few days, but a little better. Reading a book that is somewhat helpful about , "Parental Alienation" by the other parent, more pertaining to a divorce. It really wouldn't apply in your case.
Your case on the surface doesn't make sense at all.

Forgot if you said you have other children?

JB

Yes Norske praying right now.

Sorry, meant to add I am saying a prayer for you, for all of us at this time of Christmas.

Me too, praying.

jb - we do have another son, who is older. He is a solid Christian, single. I ask God to bless him with a wife of God's choosing. He really wants to be married with a family, but for some reason, it isn't in God's timing right now. We will be with him for Christmas Eve and Day.

When you mention will, we redid our will with a paragraph specifically excluding our ES. In your case, since you know your gc, you might want to think about skipping your ES and leaving his portion to your gc, but you would have to specifically address the division and by name. Sounds wrong to be thinking of such things but in the end I know my DIL will be first in line to see if we left them anything and I certainly don't want that to happen. If our ES ever comes back into the family, we will make changes, but only if led to do that.

Thank you for your prayers. The sun is shining today; I have been talking with God all morning and I am feeling better.

Norske You are a blessing to us. We will pray. We can be thankful for all of God's blessings and still be sad about our EC and gc. This is so normal. I'm sure it makes Jesus sad too.

Norske, Had you said you felt the time was right to reach out to your ES again?

Norske, your post touched me, and I pray for the comfort and salvation of you, your family, and everyone on this board. I was also touched by JB's post and realized that we have all suffered, yet must find our own path. For some, it is better to just grieve and move on. For others, moving on would only feel like abandonment. In either case, we will always have the Lord to comfort us. I am so torn I don't even know which direction I want to go in. I don't want to be abused by my child or family members, and I won't do that, but I also want to have hope. Lord, we pray that you will reach down with your mighty hand and touch us here in this place. Help us to understand what we are going through and help guide our loved ones back to the path of your salvation. We pray for special blessings for Norske, JB, Lindajoan, and all of us who are in need of your special Grace. We thank you for all the blessings you bestow upon us every minute of every day. All praise, glory, and honor are due to you dear Lord. In Jesus's name, we pray, amen. --EJ

thank you eric for such a beautiful and heart-warming prayer. Christmas is difficult for so many of us.

lindajoan - I was wondering if it was time to reach out again to my ES with a phone call and preparing that he wouldn't answer, to leave a message that I miss him and would love to have his family join us for Christmas, but then I read the post where someone texted or maybe called her son and was rejected. Since I have been praying asking God for a sign as to whether I should call ES or not, after reading her post, I felt that was telling me not to act on my own impulse but rather wait on Him.

For me, Thanksgiving is hard to get through because it is a day that many immediate family members will get together with siblings, parent and grandkids but Christmas is the worst because it is geared more to the immediate family. It is the Day that "Joy To the World" is heard everywhere you go - but you and I aren't exactly feeling all joyful. During times like these it's hard to remain joyful in the midst of suffering. It is not easy to paste on a smile and pretend nothing is wrong.

So even though we know in our minds that God is good and He is in control, it is still hard for us to live with “Things We Don’t Understand” . . . and may never understand. It is difficult to be at peace about that, or at least it is difficult for me. Sometimes I start thinking that God owes me an explanation and assurance that there will be an end to this estrangement. But the reality is that there will be some resolutions with some and there will be no resolution for others. God still gives everyone free will to choose to do right by their parents or to continue to do wrong. God is ready, willing and able to work with them, but He won't force them. But he is listening as we keep the faith pray that our Heavenly Father will bring everything to a just conclusion at sometime in the near future.

God Bless you all,
GuelsMom

GuelsMom -- this is where I get confused in my faith. God does give them free will and God is ready, willing and able to work with them but won't force them. So why then should we pray for a miracle?

I sometimes get so confused - some passages in the bible say go after; some passages, like the story of the prodigal son, is where a father waits. And there is "Let Go and Let God".

Norske....I had a response to your question but it was long. I did a spell check and went to copy and paste and instead hit the wrong key and it went "poof." I'll try again tomorrrow. Sorry. Hang in there.

This was a portion of it though....

Although miracles seem to prove the very existence of God, many would still reject Him - because of free will.

1) The Israelites experienced many miracles, but contantly disobeyed God - because of free will.

2) Jesus did miracles in his hometown, but because of their pride, they still refused to believe - because of free will.

3) Many in this day and age still would use science to "prove away" miracles; I would guess this would happen even with things that seem irrefutable - because of free will.

I've seen atheists state that even if they had proof of God, they would still not follow him...reminiscient of the way the Israelites did not follow, even though they had "proof" - because they had free will.

So many beautiful caring people on here. We are sad but I also am sad for our EC who are missing out on their parents. What a loss to them. I don't think any adult should betray or deny their parents. True it is unBiblical but it is against all religions and human decency. Any clearly thinking adult knows right from wrong. Estrangement is wrong.

I think this is where we go back to the title of the post called I Need Prayer. We need to pray God will give us His grace to keep moving forward with Joy and Peace. He is the only source of our joy and peace. We need to uphold each other in prayer too. We are commanded to pray so we must pray for our EC not knowing God's plan or what will take place. We will still pray in faith believing that with God nothing is impossible.

Thank you all for your prayers. God is good. I don't feel as sad as I did earlier in the week. Our neighbors stopped over for coffee this morning and they reminded me I need to be asking the Holy Spirit to work on my DIL and ES, to turn them around. Sometimes I pray thinking a prayer is heard by God who is in charge of all and I think of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as one.

Our little gd is the one who is missing out. Gosh, my DH would just love having her sit on his lap.

Anyway, someone here reminded me to embrace the ones who want to be with us this year, and that is what I am going to focus on.

I know God gives us all free will but I also believe he can change hearts, in His timing.

I'm sorry for everyone's sadness & hold each of you in my prayers. I've been praying that God soften my daughter's heart. Later, to my dismay, I heard they are having financial issues. Though it's not what I want, it dawned on me that perhaps God is honing her in order for that to happen. We aren't alone, our EC have their own lessons to learn. Someone posted this poem at one time. It helped me. I hope the same is true for you.

http://john330forhispeople.blogspot.com/2012/11/wait-poem-by-russell-kelfer.html

Norske, we are human and it is normal to have doubts and try to figure things out for ourselves. We sometimes out-think ourselves. We cannot "think" our way into making our estranged children think a certain way or come back to us. We cannot live there lives for them, even though we are so much wiser than they are (or so we think). They must do that for themselves with God's Grace. All we have to do is have faith that God's Will is done. I try to focus on my faith everyday through prayer and the Word. It helps me to see the world differently. I believe that God does things the way He does because it is necessary - maybe for our children, and maybe for us too, as tough as that may be. I received a Christmas card today that blew my mind and was unlike anything I had heard from my brother in 20 years. It gave me alot to think about and I will have to pray on it. Its funny. Just when I finally adjusted to life without my family, they go and ask for forgiveness. I don't know what to make of it, but I am trying to do what Jesus would do. Let us pray that we all remain in faith and in His Grace in the days and years ahead.