Gordos, I feel for you! It must be incredibly frightening and frustrating. If you have already done all you can do.... and I believe you have... then all you can do is pray. I've been in a similar, but not quite the same, situation and what I did is I did everything I could (raised quite a ruckus) then let it go. I still worried, but didn't do anything more. There comes a point that we need to let them figure things out on their own. Maybe this is that time for your son.

I would give you some advice if I had any, so all I can offer is my prayers, which I have been doing ever since I heard about him. Unfortunately, the way the system works, is that until there is a death involved, nobody really takes mental health (depression or otherwise) all that seriously. I don't know if you remember several years ago a woman in Houston drowned her 5 kids in the bathtub because she had postpartum depression/psychosis. Now I know that isn't the same thing as what is wrong with your son, but my point is, her husband tried to have her committed like two times, and both times they released her when she of course should not have been. It was because the doctors didn't' think she was dangerous. I guess my point in all of this is, if there was some way you could convince the doctors he is dangerous (either to himself or others) they would maybe keep him? All I know is, the mental health system here in Texas failed that Yates woman, and only after she drowned those 5 babies did they wake up and now she is locked up in a mental facility. And I am also talking about my DIL as well. She has severe mental problems and has been taken to mental facilities twice (that I know of) and both times she was only kept 48 hours and then released. I am scared to death she will hear those voices again and next time she will try to hurt my son or those babies!

Oh, and I should also add they released her also because the insurance ran out!

Gordos, What type of facility was you son in? When my son was having an addiction problem we sent him to an inpatient facility. He was 24 at the time and living home. I know your son does not live home which is a different situation. Praying he will be wiling to seek help.

Gordos4

I know and understand your pain, but let me share my experience with you.

My only son was a chronic alcoholic, and as you know it is very difficult to get help for them and, in addition to that, they have to want help.

My son finally decided he wanted to quit but was having severe withdrawals. I found a local doctor to help him, which I thought at the time was an answer to prayer. The doctor prescribed him anti-depressants and some other meds for the withdrawals. Long story short....some of the meds were not to be mixed with alcohol! My son went to sleep one night and never woke up!

My life has never been the same since. In fact, I don't even have a life. It is something you never get over.

I don't know what the medicine was that you thought your son should have, but based on my experience, I would be glad they didn't give it to him.

Prayers and hugs sent your way!

God bless you Tabitha. You are a wonderful
person who God is using to help others.

TabithaGrace, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Oh Tabitha, I am so sorry to hear about your son. Bless you.

I agree with Agrandmother...as much as it hurts, your son is an adult and there is little you can do.

Yes...mental illness is very real, but something no one wants to talk about. 4 years ago, I married into a family of mental illness. My dh's 3 sons ALL suffer degrees of it. Dh was a single father, so all of their problems have fallen on him. He told me when we were dating that "the next thing I'll do for my oldest son is bury him". Honestly, we're surprised that day has not come yet. Dh dealt with his alcohol and drug use since age 12. Finally when he was 23, dh got him into the mental health system and on disability thanks to one of his psychiatrists. Dh finally walked away from him a year ago due to his manipulative ways, but did allow him to come over on Christmas. After 20 years, enough was enough. He dealt with his DS31's drug problems for 5 years (he has now been clean for almost 3 years) and now it's DS22 who is still using and he has to deal with. It's difficult for me because they aren't MY kids, but it pains me for dh.

And, I, too, am so sorry for your loss TabithaGrace, but agree with lindajoan. God is using you to help others. God bless.

It is such a painful thing, Im sorry for both of you. Let us keep lifting Gordos son in prayer to the throne of grace. I am so sorry Tabitha grace, it must be a constant hurt that never leaves you. May God lift the sorrow from both of you and surround you with love and comfort.

Thank you for all your replies. I haven't been on in a couple of days. Still trying to heal from last Friday. Im sorry for you loss Tabitha. At this point, were just waiting for the next phone call. We need to try to let go, it is THE hardest thing-ever.

I am so sorry, Gordos. One of the ladies in my Bible study group was just telling us this Wednesday night that her son FINALLY got full admission to a mental facility, inpatient. She said he didn't want to go, either, but he has committed 4 felonies so now he has no say in it. She said it sounds crazy to be rejoicing her son is in a mental facility, but at least now she knows where he is, and that he is safe. I thought about you and this terrible situation. This situation is a lot more common than most people realize.

Poodlegirl, that is what I am coming to realize. It is becoming VERY common. It has happened before in my family, most of the grandkids have mental issues. I thank God that my son hasn't committed any crimes and pray he never does. If he has one more incidence with the police, they will admit him next time. He called again today & was talking negatively about himself. I finally said "Brody, I cannot take this anymore, until you agree to get help,, I cannot talk to you. It is not just hurting you, it has a ripple effect". Whether he takes that into account, I don't know. I feel bad because my psychiatrist had to sedate me for the ride home from his office yesterday. I feel like Im failing God by being dependent on my meds. I feel it shows a lack of trust in Him to handle things. I know if I don't take them, I will go into a downward spiral. Im trying to set an example for my son that you HAVE to take your medicine. My psychiatrist had to triple my medication just to get through this. I HATE mental illness. I wish our health care system took better care of people.

Tabitha, I am so so sorry for your loss. Cannot imagine what you have gone/are going through.

Gordos, sounds like you have done all you can do, and it sounds like it's time to let go. I believe that sometimes God wants us to go out of the way so He can deal directly with our adult children. He loves them more than we do, which is hard to imagine, but true.

Please take care of yourself in the meantime. Exercise is a HUGE stress reliever. It has tremendous mental and emotional benefits, as well as physical. I am convinced that exercise is the only reason I'm not on an anti-depressant in all that we have been through with our ED. Eat as well as you can, and try to do something you enjoy- even if you have to force yourself to get out.

Givingupcontrol, thank you for your post. Like you, I deal with stress without medication. I chose a physical occupation that has no stress in it specifically to look after myself. I've been dealing with things beyond my control and so the only thing I can control is my own well-being. Like you I make sure to eat right, get plenty of rest, make sure I get outdoors to enjoy nature, and also read my Bible every day and pray continuously. Of course there are down days, but I let myself be sad and get through. The next day I get up and resolve to allow God to help me and I bounce back. I am finding I am getting stronger all the time.

I must add that I have been to several psychiatrists to make sure I don't have a mental illness. If there was a mental illness I would take medication.