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I'm having a hard time with the weekend comin

soverysadmom
soverysadmom
We hear es is getting married this weekend even though he tells me he changed the date so we wouldn't know when it is. He didn't want me and his father to show up. He said if I wanted to come I could get a ride with someone that is going but not to bring his father. The wedding is about 7 hours from where we live. I'm not going since husband can't go even though my heart is heavy wanting to be there. I don't want to cause trouble with me and my husband. We are both so distraught. We are both up most of the night because we can't sleep thinking of this mess and what we could have done to change it. I don't know how I'm going to get through it all. Only with the Lord's grace, I know.
soverysadmom
soverysadmom
ES is now upset about our trip. I guess someone told him about our facebook pictures.He thinks we were trying to get back at him. I got an email telling me off about it. Why is he not enjoying his honeymoon with this girl but instead worried about what me and his father are doing?
lindajoan
lindajoan
My guess would be guilt. You did nothing wrong. In fact, you handled the weekend just perfectly. He must answer for his own selfish behavior. God bless you and DH.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Soverysadmom, these are the games they play. Mine do the same thing. They are allowed to be happy, but for some reason they think we should be miserable.

I'm so pleased that you enjoyed yourself on your trip. :-) I'm proud of you!
Norske1
Norske1
Soverysadmom - I agree with lindajoan and CanadianMother. Definitely games they play and these EC do not want us to be happy in any way. That immature behavior stays with some children into adulthood, where they want those they love the most to be miserable, because it makes them feel better.

He and DIL thought they were going to make you miserable by not inviting you to the wedding and now they see that you found other happiness, so you messed up their plan.

Stay strong. I opened a FB page just so my son could see how happy his father and I are by the postings I do. But our ES has never contacted us. We just know his wife isn't happy if we are happy.

So sad - God is in control and He wants us to be happy. And he does love our EC as much as we do, maybe more, and is weaping for their bad behavior also.
feellinghelpless
feellinghelpless
I think it's funny he's upset about your trip. He's on his honeymoon, but curious about you? Well, he learned his lesson. If you're not invited to the wedding you showed him that your life isn't over. I think it's great he even thought about you. Not the way you want, but I think it shows something when they still think of us.
texassunshine9406
texassunshine9406
Good for you!!! YOU are not his keeper, and you deserved to be having fun. It's HIS problem that he's upset not yours. I remember back in 2011, I went to Houston to visit my cousin in the hospital because she was dying of cancer and I also had a trip planned in July 2011 to "meet" my half sister in Arizona-my "kids" posted nasty comments on my facebook page about me taking all these "vacations" and my mother was having surgery and I couldn't go visit her?? My mother had not spoken to me in over a year and wouldn't even get on the phone with me, but I was supposed to go visit her?? Selfish is as selfish does. My mother was partly to blame for my estrangement with my girls. She fed them so many lies, I think she believed it and how could such a sweet, little old lady lie? Really?? She was a master manipulator and her grandkids have taken her place on this earth.
Anyway, you deserve to be happy and not be a "slave" to your ES. He is an adult and needs to stop blaming YOU for all of his feelings. You did the right thing, but also stay off FB-that's harder than it sounds, I know-I have been looking at FB pics too. Both my kids have me blocked but not my husband.