ritt, I am sorry to hear that you are going through the storm of estrangement. You bring up some excellent points. Reasons for estrangement varies and all of our journeys are different. The common thread is that it is sad for all involved and it is not God's way for families. Our EC have made the decision to estrange from their parents and families which for most of us does not make sense. It is difficult to make sense out of the senseless.

Our ED left home for a bf and then had to justify what she did with dishonesty. Many others here, will let you know that their ES or ED are apart from them due to a in-law. It seems the in-law often has an agenda to separate the family. I truly believe all of our Estranged adult children have been lied to by the enemy. The only one who can change their hearts is the Lord. We must pray and persevere each day with God's help. Our only hope is in God. He is able. We are here to support you and one another.

I totally agree with linda. We are all walking through this darkness mainly because of a X spouse, parent, in-law. And the influence these people have over our loved ones is so severe I really don't think there is anything we can do except live our lives and have hope that our children will someday have the ability to protest loudly what they have been lead to do. That, to me, is the only way this will ever end. Our children are spineless or powerless to do anything against the person who has lead them astray and we cannot fight this alone. God help us all.

Thank you for the replies and support. my ES LOVED the Lord so much when he was younger. When he moved away to college an hour away, things slowly changed, a year and half ago they "really" changed.

ritt, so sorry you are dealing with estrangement, like we are. I'm sure we have all done this- but I have evaluated thousands of times in my mind how we got to this place- and I agree with LindaJoan... our children have been deceived by the enemy. They have bought into the darkness and lies of this world. I feel like a wolf has dragged off one of my sheep and is mangling her. She is not dead yet, but she is struggling and suffering because she has allowed herself to be her own god.

As painful as it all is, there is not much we can do other than PRAY. Which is huge and is really all we have. My husband doesn't like to talk about the dark situation my daughter is in now. He said he likes to think about what God is going to do with her life instead.

ritt4me, I'm sorry that you're going through this with all of us.

Our stories are all different, yet so very similar… Like your son, my daughter seemed to love the Lord as a child, too. She had committed her life to become a missionary. But, at 19 years old, rather than go to college--one we worked so very hard to get her into, she got married. She came to visit us in February and I thought things were fine… we left off planning on meeting in Hawaii for Christmas- our gift to her and her husband--they were in Japan (he's in the Air Force)...it was the last time I ever heard from her. I've heard via my brother that I was an incredibly abusive awful mother. Some of the stories have me so baffled. I certainly wasn't a perfect mom, but I'm not the person he claims. I made the mistake of writing her so many letters begging to hear from her, apologizing for anything I did do or didn't do… She never answered one. She blocked her dad and I from her life. Despite it all, if she called or walked through my door, I would hug her and forget it all. I miss her terribly. She is my only child, my beautiful daughter, my best friend… and Satan has tried to steal her away from not only me, but the Lord. I'm so grateful that we have a Heavenly Father who knows and I believe is working to restore our children and all that's been lost. It is as if our children are complete strangers to us… I know this is not my child doing this. There is a spiritual battle going on and all we can do is pray and pray we must do. There is power that comes from a praying parent.
We are parents of prodigals. No one ever thinks it will happen to them. I know I never thought this could happen to us-- there is no reason for any of it.

God Bless

Very well worded, Katesmom. Somewhat the same as me, with a few additional elements thrown in for good measure. How can a person not know they indeed ARE the devil incarnate?

Ritt4me, our first ES was our middle child, the prodigal. He ran away from God and us back in 1997 at age 17. Then our oldest got married and we got off to the wrong foot with in-law problems. Our youngest got married next, he married our Pastor's daughter. That church was not a good place, very legalistic and turned into a cult. When DH and I felt the call of God upon our lives to leave, all hell came against us through the pastor/FIL and he influenced our sons to shun us for leaving against his orders. We recently have begun a reconciliation with our oldest son as he seems to have broken away from the youngest brother's influence from his FIL and since the oldest is also in a much more healthy church that is not legalistic or cultish, the oldest and our DIL seem to now want very much for us to be a part of their lives again. There seems to be a difference in core beliefs now between the youngest and the oldest son. Not sure where that is headed between them but suspect it could open doors for satan to cause Estrangement between the oldest and the youngest, lest the Holy Spirit get to close to the youngest son's heart.

I am completely in total faith that God is working our situation out and our family will be intact again one day!

Ritt, they learn so many new ideas and meet many different people with different ideas. Maybe his wife turned him around. I think all EC have met someone or was influenced by a parent encouraging a strain with the other parent. I agree with Weary that until they think it through and find their voice not much will change. Thankfully with prayer God is working on our EC. There can be an end. Until then we just focus on our relationship with God. He'll help us

Yes, Kate's mom. We are all parents of prodigals. How old is your ED?

Thank you all so much for sharing. THis website does help to know others are going through this crappy situation. But knowing that so many people are praying for these lost EC helps so much. Prayer is all I figure I have until God turns this into a miracle for his Glory. Yes my ES turned into another person the last year and no of us where against him, it has all been in his mind. And yes agreeing with those whose EC think they had an awful childhood and life, that totally blows me away. HUGS to you all.

ritt, I know Satan is working overtime with my ex, his wife and our 2 EDs. He has been using parental alienation on them for 22 years. I have fought PAS and have prayed all my life. He (Satan and EX) finally won. I have given my EDs back to God, and pray he can change their hearts. The ex and his wife are now attending the church that I raised our EDs in. They would not attend when I was there.
I'm sorry you are going through estrangement, but so glad you found this site of great supportive people. I have not heard from the EDs for 9 months now.

lindajoan… my daughter will be 20 next month.

Our ED is 23. We adopted her 20'years ago today. Let's pray these prodigals home. God is greater than the enemy. The battle belongs to the Lord. God bless each one of us with His might as we pray for God to do battle for us with His power.

Not every case is attributable to the influence of their partners, or to parental alienation. Some, like mine, do it all by themselves.

remember the prodigal realized what a mistake he made and repented - that is the key. I think in my case I was married to a man who was like a child, very irresponsible and abandoned the family a lot. I always had to be the sole breadwinner. I also suffered from depression but always held a job down. I think once my son reached 13 or 14 he became very angry, and bitter because I had to work and I wasn't always home for him. He did not have the best childhood. He started staying at his friends house more and more. they had a "normal family" . Eventually he stopped talking to us and refused to come home despite many therapy and efforts. I got angry and told the school he couldn't play football unless he came home to work things out with the family. I tried to force him home.Then his friends father filed for guardianship and got it based on abuse and neglect that wasn't true. Now I feel guilty that I wasn't around more and wish I had tried harder. Anyway he did it for a reason, and I haven't seen or heard from him in 2 years, despite several attempts. It has been a very painful process but my ES is in the hands of God, and there is nothing I can do except trust God with my sons life. He is in the best of hands. perhaps he will realize someday the full scope of it all.