Hi ladies, just a comment. Yesterday I left the group, mainly because I felt misunderstood and attacked. That was very hurtful. I am in an estrangement situation with my adult children. It started way before my divorce, and I have suffered for over 20 years. Without Jesus, I would have not have survived. He is my rock and my fortress, and He has used many people and books to help me understand this insidious grief. We are here to support one another, not give advice, not presume "thus saith the Lord",, or try to fix one anothers situations. The only one that can do that is Jesus Himself. It is overy upsetting to me to hear counsel to "cut the ties" when I believe that is a decision only we as parents can come to before the Lord, after seeking Him and His word regarding the matter. Yes, I do believe God can use an "ass" as in Balaams' donkey to speak to us. I have been humbled by my estranged children as to where they feel I have hurt them, and I have made that right to the best of my ability before God. Whether they choose to accept that is up to them. I have a daughter who has been so wounded by her father that she has made bad lifestyle choices, and taken her anger out on me, because I am the "safe" one who will always love her. Rebuke her, yes, I have, but in love and offers of grace. Put up with her "snarkiness" toward me, no, I have had to ask her to move out because I won't allow her to treat me like dirt under her feet. My oldest son has become the "victim", and everything wrong with him and his life is my fault. Do I still love him, you bet I do, and I relate to him calmly, and in truth. Do I walk away and have no contact when I am treated like trash by him, yes , I do. Do I still send him birthday cards, yes I do. Will there come a day when God may say, it's time to walk on ahead and be united one day in heaven but not here, possibly, God may call me to do that. But not today. Because He has called me to love unconditionally today, and it is the most painful thing I have ever had to do. Do I feel hard and dead inside, yes, sometimes I do, I'm only human. Do I obsess about this mess, at times, but each day is getting better and better as I focus on His purpose for my life, and trust Him to fill the holes in my soul. Bottom line is, we are in a battle, and we are wounded and suffering, and sometimes that just doesn't go away. It is what it is. I read this forum because all of you are a source of strength to me and encouragement. Even if you only have one day that's good, we all need to hear it. I'm posting this because I realized I have a right to be here and my heart is committed to seeking Him and doing His will. Thank you for all you share.