CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
To make a long story shorter, my son has a girlfriend that has caused a lot of problems with my son and his rehab. He allows it so it is just as much his fault. She controls him even to the point that he delayed going to rehab so he could go to her softball banquet. She does not like his friends that are girls, so he un-friended them on Facebook for her. She still has all her male friends on Facebook.
She has told me that I need to get use to the idea that we are all family and she will be involved with what she wants to be, whether it is his health , finances etc. we are all FAMILY she says. They have dated 8 months and she is 17 he is 21.
Today she sends me a letter written by someone else that she copied from Facebook talking about how thankful she is that I raised a great son. It also talks about how important it is to her to date a man that puts Christ first.
My son has turned his heart away form God for many years now and he has never know her to attend church.
I am struggling with how to respond???
She has told me that I need to get use to the idea that we are all family and she will be involved with what she wants to be, whether it is his health , finances etc. we are all FAMILY she says. They have dated 8 months and she is 17 he is 21.
Today she sends me a letter written by someone else that she copied from Facebook talking about how thankful she is that I raised a great son. It also talks about how important it is to her to date a man that puts Christ first.
My son has turned his heart away form God for many years now and he has never know her to attend church.
I am struggling with how to respond???
I'd be surprised if she's still around this time next year.
The main thing is to keep communication with your son without compromising your own well-being.
I had been deeply hurt by someone and so I was on pins and needles waiting for the next shoe to drop. I felt like I needed to protect myself and head off the next thing ....
but my pastor told me not to do that, and just respond to each thing IF AND WHEN it comes.
I was trying to be 'smart' and not be 'blindsided' ... and while it's good to see the wisdom in what is ... I was sort of pre-living every possible bad thing (most of which never happened anyway)....
I remember having to sort of recalibrate how I was thinking about things ... and just focus on how Jesus wanted me to respond, rather than trying to head off every possible thing, ya know?
Anyway, his suggestion really helped me with my anxiety over this person who had hurt me ... I was able to let go and just take care of the problems of today because like it says in the Bible, tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. He gives us the grace we need today ... and when we need it for tomorrow, he will give it to us then....
My son was 'engaged' ... and I was so concerned, but they ended up breaking up. I remember having to take it one day at a time and just keep putting it in God's hands. I am so glad I didn't try to think through each thing in advance ... because it didn't end up happening anyway....
It's so hard to figure out what is going or not going to happen with our adult kids ... just get in the habit of letting go and putting it in the hands of God ... we really have very little, if any control anyway. Let Him do the heavy lifting! HUGS!
I also think it is such a blessing in our lives when God allows us to share something He has show us through our pain and suffering, it kind of makes it worth it in a way, ya know?
I can't tell you how many times the Lord just seems to send the right person who has had a similar experience or something and it really helps me... Our God is so good and awesome...