Incredibly well said, Guelsmom. Seems we all take the same path. Myself, I also fell apart at the beginning. One morning in church I went to the altar for prayer and totally fell apart right in front of the whole congregation…sobbing uncontrollably…it was embarrassing since nobody knew what was going on in my life. There were songs I could not play on the piano without crying. Sometimes I'd just cry…. with no warning.

With time and much prayer and Bible reading I've learned to accept things as they are, as you stated. For me it was a year, for others it might be longer or shorter--but it is important to come to a place of acceptance that God is in control and we are not. I learned not to try to explain to others, because they could not understand, no matter how much they wanted to be there for me. But, I did start telling people I was estranged, mostly when they would ask about my grandchildren, or when they would complain about their own children and grandchildren.

I've been through some difficulty in my life--extreme difficulty (to the point of almost dying). But this was by far the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with.

Guelsmom, I am blessed by your honesty and sharing of your journey. Estrangement to me is a broken dream. It is a broken mirror and it is heartbreaking. God has been faithful this past 2 plus years since our ED left home at age 20. It is still difficult as we live close by and attend the church where our ED ministered in song. The memories are all around. No matter where we travel to our EC our in our hearts I'm sure. I would love for her to one day desire to have peace with DH and I although it would never be the mother/daughter relationship I had dreamed it would be. Only God can change a heart. With Him nothing is impossible.

I lost my whole family. My X was a good thing, he was controlling, manipulating, and emotionally abusive to me. He abused prescription drugs, drank, and ended up in jail. His jail time I thought was my ticket out of the marriage. He didn't stay in jail and when he got out he worked on my two boys telling them all his problems were my fault. told the boys I was selfish and uncaring. My X is disabled(?) never worked and was to sick to participate with the kids in school or church activities. I pretty much did everything for my family for 19 years. My boys went to live with him. Just received a letter from both of my sons telling me they don't want me to contact them again. My X addressed and mailed the letter for them. I am trying to move on and I do have some positives in my career. Thanks for the post guelsmom I found it inspirational and hopeful things will get better in life. I will keep faith in God and trust he will lead me in the right direction and he will heal over time.

One more note: I do thank God for letting me have the experience of being a mom. Even though it was short lived I treasure every memory of my boys growing up. Being mom, if only for a short time, was TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!

I can understand your heartbreak tolove those innocent gc. I to do not know what has happened to this world today. I sit and cry also my husband says its torture/suffering. The EC know how to hurt us and they know they do a good job doing it. I hope they are so proud of themselves and hope they wont have to go through this in there lifetime. Try to be strong its easier said than done i need to take my own advice.Hope something will lighten your heart.