We are praying for you, that the Lord will restore your family and until that time, that He will comfort you and give you the peace to endure.

I am so sorry that yet another person is on this journey. I could have written most of what you have written.Hugs to you and hopes for a peaceful heart for us all.

kathysau - I have walked through that valley but God has given me strength (and time) to heal. I still miss my ES every single day but He has opened my eyes to other things in life. God gave us children to raise and then like the other creatures of earth, we also need to let them go so that they will return. Our EC, we have no promise they will return, but God is faithful and He is carrying you through this. Honest.

I found that when I asked God what else he had planned for my life after raising my children, he showed me. I am in a new community, new church, new garden club, working with nonprofits and those things give me hope and happiness. Do I still get sad and miss my ES? Absolutely! But God made us for more in life than just raising our children and then depending on them to fulfill our every need when they became adults.

I have some friends who all they do is talk about their children, pay for vacations so their adult children and families will go on vacation with them and literally live through through adult children. At first I was jealous but now I am sad for them. Sad that my friends can't let go and open their eyes to what else God wants them to experience.

I'm guessing you have so many wonderful gifts that you don't realize. Ask God to direct you and listen for his voice.

I have just recently moved across county. God opened every door one can think of to make this happen for my husband and I. I did not want to go. I wanted to stay in the "sewer" that I found myself in. Crying and wanting for something I could not have. With every part of my being I made this move. House sold in record time, other things just "moved". In the same time, doors closed where we were. I begged and cried and pleading for ED to be kind. To include me.

Actually, the begging and crying to no avail gave me the strength and the determination to get out of my "sewer" and enjoy the last part of my life. My DH and I love to travel. We knew the East Coast from Florida to Canada like the back of our hands. Now we will enjoy the West.

This is not what I wanted. But it is better than just "standing by" and wishing and hoping. I never want to spend a mother's day, holiday, or ground hog day wishing I could be included in a family that clearly does not want me.

I wish you well on your journey. It is very hard but you can do it. Prayers are with us all.

wearyofitall - what an inspiration you are to everyone here. Our move wasn't quite that far but we also felt God's presence in the quick sale of our home, the move, etc.

Am I sad and miss my ES? Every single day. But I also thank God that he has helped me step out in faith to new ventures. My DH and I love to travel also and we are enjoying hobbies, friends and each other.

Kathy, I know each dear one here, including me, knows the pain personally and shares yours with prayer. Each estrangement story is different but we all feel betrayed by our EC. They are adults but it is not the way we planned it to be and it is certainly not God's way for families. No matter what is going on in our lives we still have the empty space where our EC were.

I have come to realize in the past 2 plus years that healing does take time and grieving is a process. I have come to see the truth that all I can do is pray that one day God would change our ED. This came after a lot of trying to no avail. Our EC have an agenda that only God can change.

I live close to our ED which I think makes it very hard. I admire those who physically moved. I can not due to work and other children. Please ask God to give you the grace to accept what is until He changes it. Our EC are living their lives and we deserve to live our life. God only gives us one and He wants us to use each day for Him. He will be your strength in weakness. The enemy wants us to be destroyed by estrangement and render us paralyzed by it. It worked for a while but God is greater. Selfishly, I did not want the enemy to win.
Saying a prayer for you today.

His grace is sufficient for us as we go through this storm. God bless you.

PS. God gives us many means of help. Christian counseling, meds if needed, His Word, and time. Please keep coming here. We need one another. We do understand and care. God bless you with His Shalom.

God is helping you get through 1 day at a time. Eventually it'll be 2 days at a time. Crying is good. Let it out, but also trust God to give you peace.
I know not everyone gets a reconciliation, but the hope is there. Try to focus on something else while God works on your daughters. I saw a friend today who's been estranged from her daughter and granddaughters for about 2 years?. Lately there's been some hope and found out last weekend she got to have her granddaughters spend the weekend with her. Hopefully everything is healed with her daughter. My friend told me to keep praying for my ED. We never know when God will answer prayer.

My son ran away 2 months ago because he met a young girl who said pick mom or me. he picked her. she doesnt have a good relationship with her mom and dad left when she was little. then she talked my son into going into the army and he left april 8th. never said goodbye. he texted me 2 months ago if i contacted him in anyway he would press harassment charges to me. He contacted his 18 yr old brother to let him know he left for the army and said how are you but only you. wow didnt care how i was. i gave the last 18 yrs for him, getting him a diploma, being at all his games and concerts, getting him eagle scout which got him higher rank and pay in the army. and this is what happens? so the girl is going in the army in aug. they bought wedding rings and posted on facebook united in love divided by duty. I pray everyday. It hurts everyday. no idea how he is doing in the army and he will be gone 4 years and lots of things remind me of him. I hate my house. just being in it reminds me of things we did. they say one day at a time that it gets easier but i am not sure yet. I do have great faith in God and keep praying but it is very lonely. I will pray for you. It is hard when other people don't understand how you feel or they say he will be back. ok what do i do in the meantime. I pray for you.

Monica, I was told the same thing about harassment. Not sure where they get these ideas. It's harassment to text "Hope you're doing ok, Love, Mom?" And this every two or three months??? Makes no sense whatsoever.

All of our stories are different, but the same. I believe we all did our best as parents. I believe what is happening with families is just a part of the times we are in. I don't believe it is God-honouring to allow what is happening to ruin our own lives and limit our potential for service to others. That is what the devil is trying to do. We need to somehow gather the strength to keep moving forward in our own lives. This honours God and also I believe makes our children more inclined to want back into our lives. Children, whether young or grown, need to see parents with strength.

Monica - my heart breaks for you. You are at the beginning where the pain is so piercing. If you will, read my first post above. You are a special person and God has given you many gifts. You need to dig deep into your inner self and find them, all the while asking God to give you strength.

It will get easier. You need to make sure your other son sees you as a happy person, not crying for your ES. I have found young people use the excuse often that they don't want to be around us because we aren't "happy" or "young" or "being cool". As mothers of EC that is very difficult, but with God's help, we all can show our happy side.

I'm so sorry kathysau. I know what you mean. It is sure a hard life to live. I try to go on for the Lord but I feel like I'm useless. Monica and Canadian our son told us he'd call the law on us or campus police if we tried to see him or go to any event on campus or try to attend his wedding. Prayers.

It certainly is heartbreaking to be treated like this by the very ones we did our best for as parents. This disrespectful behavior towards family is a reflection of our EC's character and not of our character. In response, through tears and pain, we carry on in His strength. When life is tough and we love the unlovely and forgive the unforgiveable then we are truly being Christlike and honoring to God and we are a testimony to others.

kathy....my heart really goes out to you because I was the same basket case you are now during the first four years of my estrangement with our son and DIL. We even sold our condo and move away from anybody that knew us. It may not have been the entire reason but it was a primary reason we moved. We just did not want to talk to anyone about it. We felt shame, guilt and total confusion over what had taken place. Nothing made any sense because there was no reasonable explanation for it. We knew our DIL was controlling but did not ever believe that she would do that to her DH, her children and to people who had done nothing but support her, give to her, did not speak ill against her and allowed them to make their own way in life as a newly married couple. So when the axe fell overnight (literally) we were stunned, shocked, speechless, bewildered, numbed, blown away and every other adjective that could be conjured up to even attempt to describe how we felt those first years.

My life was nothing as far as I saw it. I even wanted to die just as you did. I went so far as to refuse to have a colonoscopy done hoping that I would get colon cancer and die a quick death. I figured that if I could not commit suicide, cancer could do it for me.

Please learn from my experience so that you do not have to live as I did. There will come a time in your life when you come to the conclusion I did, and that is that they were going about their business as usual. They were living, loving and laughing while I was dying, hating and crying. Did they care for me and DH at all? NO, was the answer. It was time for me to accept that it was what it was and figure out some way to muddle through the rest of my life as best as I could.

I wish that I could tell you that I was one of those very inspiring women who faced hard times with grace and with full confidence that God was in control and that He could help me through it, because I wasn't. I felt completely abandoned by Him and punished for something I must have done that justified it. I had to have, people just don't treat other Christians that way for no reason I thought unless they were evil.

Thank God, He was there all along but He was silently carrying me through it one step at a time until I had reached the low that I knew could go no lower. Life began to change one day at a time.

Life now is different and it is not the life that I had envisioned at all. Is it better than what I envisioned? No, it is not and it will never be. But, it is filled with the gratitude and love of our Lord that is not the same as it was before. It is stronger and more focused on Him. (still working on that though) . My prayer for you is that you will find that turning point soon and start on a new road too. In the meantime, we are always here for you. We love you. God loves you and if you have Him, you have it all. That may not make much sense to you now, but in the long run, that is all that truly matters.

God Bless,

GuelsMom - I appreciated so much what you posted to kathy. It was like a rerun of my situation, so many similarities.

Yes, life is different now and definitely not what I envisioned either. I always thought I would have sons grow up to find a career they have a passion for, find a Christian wife who would enjoy spending time with me, and finally that my DH and I would have grandchildren to love and watch grow - it was happening to all my friends and my sister. BUT - that didn't happen. I can't help but question God why but I also hope and hang on that something better is coming.