CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
My sister, the most judgmental person I know, has fed my son's contempt for me over the years. She always tried to be a "hero" in his eyes. She told him personal things about me that were told to her in confidence. I never dreamed my OWN sister would betray me like this. It backfired on her in January when she gave him $300. He couldn't pay her back, so she started harassing ME. After 2 months, I was tired of hearing about it, so even though we really couldn't afford it, I gave her the $300. She told me it was my responsibility to repay her the money! She said she was going to take him to court, & I knew that was the last thing he needed, so I gave in. Ive regretted it ever since. She always says "you know, you weren't a perfect mom", & "what are you going to do about him?" I asked her what could I do? He's almost 29 years old. I finally got her when I asked her "what are YOU going to do about your son?" Her & I haven't spoken in 4 months now. I finally had to tell her not to call me if she was just going to harass me about my kids. I think it is the result of our own dysfunctional childhood. I now hear she is talking to other people about it! I don't want to call her & confront her, it may turn ugly. I wish she would just keep her mouth shut! Sorry for the vent.
I read a book a while back called "Adult children of Parental Alienation Syndrome written by Amy J. L. Baker that was outstanding in describing much of what we with EC go through with other family members taking their side against us. The book actually addresses a syndrome that happens in divorce that is now recognized in the Family court system in regard to what children of divorced parents may be victims of. Sounds like your situation. Interestingly though, the book describes what many of us here go through with our EC also. I like to call it Family Alienation Syndrome. But whatever you call it, it is enough like what we here experience from other family members getting in the middle of our EC situations that some who like to read might benefit from reading this book. I certainly did!
Caneglect, I have a mixed bag of family support like you as well and agree with you about how eye-opening this has been in regard to who I chose to share my trust and life with also! The Lord has reminded me that Abel had Cain, so this sibling betrayal started from the beginning. There always seems to be at least one in the family. Unfortunately I only had one brother, and he was not raised with me till he was 10, then saw me be the family punching bag and so never has had love or respect for me like God intended.
I have come to see that God taught me early in life to "detach" or else I would not of survived. And now that has enabled me to come back into the family fold strong enough to do the Lord's work with them now and not be emotionally "attached" enough to get hurt any longer. That was God's purpose I believe for putting me in this family all along.
We each must walk our paths out here....no two paths alike...but we can all be encouraged by seeing each other find purpose coming out of our EC situations. CanadianMother I am encouraged to hear that you write and speak about your life to others, and Caneglect as a former abused and neglected child I am hoping and praying with all my heart that you are able to bring your GS home to live with you one day soon! There are many, many more here who unknowingly every day teach us something, or give us hope! My love to all of you!!