That is so true. When our ED was telling the worst lies we found people actually loved believing them and never came to us to had them checked out. Truly the work of the enemy.

I can't even imagine the horror that Jesus went through being falsely accused, tortured, and then murdered in a brutal way when he was totally innocent. What I went through was nothing compared to that. No one stood by him, he was utterly forsaken. Atleast most of my family stood by me, believed me, and bore witness on my behalf. I am very grateful for that.

Yes it helps a lot to remember that everything we're feeling Jesus felt as well. Rejected, unloved, lonely, betrayed, frightened at the thought of the beatings and the cross. So good to know He understands. Not only that, but the Bible says he never lost His joy. So His joy was not at all dependent on other people. I wish I was more like that.

The Lord is our best possible example of perseverance through suffering we could ever have. Even though I know that I did not abuse my son, I still feel a lot of guilt. I feel I didn't do enough to prevent him from doing that to me. I feel if I had just paid more attention or hired a live in person maybe he would not felt compelled to do this to me. There had to have been an underlying problem for him to do that, and ultimately I think he was very angry that I was not around enough and felt that I didn't care for him. I was a single parent and was working. I just wish I could go back and change some of the things that happened to prevent what we went through. He totally has cut me out and it is such a terrible thing. Maybe it hurts worst today because of mothers day.

Saved, I wish you would stop feeling bad or guilty about working to support yourself and your son. My mother did, and though I wished she didn't have to, Still, I was grateful for her hard work for us, even as a little kid. I wished I had a father. I wished I had someone there when I came home from school, and all that - of course. We did have a lady there once to give me milk and cookies after school, and we loved her and she us and I loved having her there. But to her sorrow and ours, my mother couldn't afford it but for a year.

But I remember even when I was little telling her how much I appreciated the life she provided us. In addition, I've been forever grateful at how independent and self-reliant it made me. It made me strong.

So it's all in the perception of the child. A reasonable child CAN see the reality of it, and still appreciate what his/her mother does. And for all you know, from what I can tell from your post, your son may not even think this was a problem!

For many of us, we will never figure out the whys. Most of our guilt is misplaced. In any case, the working mother's guilt for having to work, in cases like yours, is . . . pure baloney! Take it from me and other children who appreciated all their hard-working mothers did for them.

thank you alana, I can't help mulling things over in my head and it has been 4 years since he has been gone. I wish things were different of course and I feel that I could have and should have done better. I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.