Thank you all for listening

Putting your son at the feet of Jesus and concentrating on the rest of your life is the best decision you can make and what Jesus wants you to do. Just continue to pray for him.

God bless you as you follow the leading of the Lord in your life. I agree that we always continue to pray for our EC to come to Jesus or back to Him.

You are doing exactly what I am doing. I have tried so hard, for so long, to "fix" things and God has revealed to me to be still, and look to Him, and just let him have my son. And I have more peace about it than I ever have. I will never stop loving him, and I pray for him constantly, for a softening of his heart, but that is for God to do, not me. God bless you and I hope you find peace.

SadinMaine - my heart breaks for you. You will always be a mother to two children. But right now, it sounds like your heart needs to rest from your ES.
I know that Jesus will watch over both of you and weep with you. Jesus loves mothers very much,, and I know it saddens Him to see the way that we are treated. But He also knows the whole story and how everything will turn out. Whether in this life or in the next.

Sending prayers.

I understand that I should pray for my son, but it brings so many tears so that is why I chose to give it to Jesus and he can take the burden off me. When I continually pray it just keeps bringing back the pain.

I read once that every time we think of our estranged child, we should stop and thank God for blessing us with them and then ask God's blessing on them. My son was estranged for almost 8 years, and he is now back in my life. It is going to take awhile for me to feel trust in him, the same trust I have of my other son, but God will work it out.

SadinMaine- God is going to do amazing things for you. Laying your son at His feet is the best thing you could do. I also was told that our children are on loan to us from God to raise and when they become adults, we need too let them spread their wings and fly, and if they fly away, we need to pray them back.

Norske, I love that! So true about praying them back. Praying them back to God and family. What more can we do for them?

Dear sadinmaine, I am so very sorry that your son completely cut you off. What he did was cruel and tragic. I hope and pray that your decision to let go and let God, brings you peace. I have struggled with the same question, is my current relationship with my son worth the pain and agony it causes me? I go around and around with that question, and it just exhausts me. I think also it is a very personal decision, because only each mother can make the calculation of whether the costs of having hope are worth it. In your case, your son has not seen you at all in several years, a terrible situation, but it may be that accepting what is, will bring you some peace. I am just starting to realize that my situation with my ES and DIL is going to require me to think very differently, than I've ever thought before. So much of a mother's heart is just pure maternal instinct, the instinct to provide for, protect, and be in close contact with, our children. But when our children become adults, they have adult powers, and adult freedom of choices, and we no longer can make their decisions for them. Your son is the one who is losing out. I am sad for you, but praying that making a final decision can bring you rest and some peace. I am well aware of what a difficult road it must have been, to this decision. May God Bless you. Hugs and prayers.

sad, Much wisdom has been shared by many,here, including yourself. Acceptance is a key word for us mothers with EC. We can not change them only God is able.

May I repeat the words spoken above. Your ES is losing out on a wonderful mother. God bless you.

As time goes by I realize that there is nothing that I can do to change anything except myself. You are doing a very good job of that and it will be much better for your health. God is in charge so all we can do is give it over to our Lord and Savior. There is the power and He has a plan. God bless. Hugs and prayers

Speaking of praying them back to God, I am quite a bit more interested that my ED find God again (who she left behind with her childhood) than that she finds us. I think sometimes stray sheep need to hit some sort of rock bottom to do that.

And . . . sometimes you have to completely let them go for them to do that. In the meantime, God still loves us and wants us to be happy, so I think you're on the right track, sadinmaine.

I feel your pain and I'm joining you in the "death" of both my girls! I only had 2 girls and now I have a stepson that is a blessing, but still not the same as my own. I pray God will work on their hearts and I will always have hope, but I am getting on with my life. It's been 2 years since I heard from the oldest-she has since gotten married and moved from NJ to Vermont and has not answered any calls, texts, cards, wedding gift or anything from me-that tells me she wants no contact and that's what I am doing. The youngest (23) called me last Sept. for my birthday and proceeded to talk to me like she had spoken to me the day before. No "I miss you's" or "I love you's" and nothing about the estrangement. She has also moved on since then with no contact or response to any cards, texts..etc. They have hurt me long enough!!! I say we move on and Let Go and Let God take care of all of our EC's and maybe He can change their hearts someday.

I know exactly how you feel and I am getting to the same point. It is hurtful to keep trying with absolutely no response. God can and will take care of him for you. Rest in his power and glory.