CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Pretty sure this has been addressed before, but indulge me. Do any of your estranged children profess to be Christians? And if so, what are your feelings on this. My son, who is now 30, made a profession of faith when he was 9 years old, and was baptized. We counseled with him extensively, as did our pastor, to make sure he understood, and he seemed to. And of course he was raised in a Christian home, and we prayed all the time and talked about the Lord. All during his growing up and teen years, he seemed to be sincere. He would go to church with us, etc. Well now of course he is married to a woman who also claims to be a Christian, although by her own admission never attends church. And I know of course going to church does not make you a Christian. But it is their ACTIONS that just don't go along with being a Christian. I know we are all sinners, and just because we have accepted Christ as our savior doesn't automatically mean we will always and forever lead sin-free lives. We all still make mistakes, and sin, but the difference is the Holy Spirit convicts us, and our consciences hurt us, and we just can't keep doing it. My oldest son and I talk about this all the time. He believes his brother has lost his salvation. I am wondering if he was ever truly saved? I know we are not to judge,that is God's place, but I was just wondering, as mothers, if any of you can relate to this.
Romans 3:23,. For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. I am sure we all have said and done things that would cause others to question our salvation because judgement comes from appearance and actions. Only God knows the intent of the heart.
There are those who believe in unconditional security (can't lose their salvation), while others believe in conditional security. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:7-9)
As Mothers, it is hard not to be concerned about our childrens' spiritual condition. When they were young , it was our responsibility to discipline them when they did wrong. It is hard to realize they are adults now and we have to step aside and allow God and the Holy Spirit do their part as he does in each of our lives. I find it is much easier to dismiss unkind words and actions from others then from my own children. Why? Maybe it is because I realize I never taught them to be disrespectful, etc. while others, I question whether what they have been taught making that as an excuse & easier to forgive.
My prayer is to soften our ec's heart and open their eyes and ears to the truth. Convict them of their sins and stir their heart to repent. Most important, God give us a servant's heart, not being critical of others and every word and action be done in the right spirit. Love is the greatest gift and Love covers a multitude of sins. Help us to cast our burdens on you and when we have done all we can do, Stand Still and see the glory of God. If thou canst only believe, "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE."
Weezy, like you, I believe my ES is choosing to believe the lies of the devil and his wife. Although ours accepted the Lord at a young age, he seemingly truly lived a life for Him until he met his now-wife. Now, he professes to be an atheist like her. And I don't doubt he believes it.
As Faith304 so beautifully said it though, I think the Holy Spirit is convicting him of his sins. I believe that he feels condemned by us every time we tell him we love him and are praying for him, but it's that conviction within his soul by the Holy Spirit that is causing this rift. I think that he's chosen to believe the lies for now, but once the Holy Spirit is in you, you'll always have the truth bubbling in your heart of hearts. Internally, he's going through a war between what he knows is true and what he's living, and estranging from us makes it easier to justify his lifestyle and also easier to live with his wife. What he sees as condemnation I see as conviction.
I pray for them daily, but I know this is awful... it's extremely difficult for me to want her salvation. I really just want her out of his life! It's one of those things where the Holy Spirit in me has to pray for her salvation, because I really don't mean it. Isn't that horrendous? I always feel like a cheap, fake Christian because I can't....
But God can:
"Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10