sounds like an allergic dermatitis, I hope it is not a food allergy. Maybe you could mention taking him to an allergist if the rash returns. Talk to your DH and see what he thinks.

I am so sorry your gs is going through this. It does sound like a food allergy. Sadly, your DIL will not appreciate advice concerning your gs. I hope your DIL will take the next step and take the child to the allergist.

Personally, I would not push the doctor issue too much since your son and dil may take it as being critical of their parenting. There are worse things for children to endure than rashes.and if you are being allowed to share in your grandsons life, I would not jeopardize that. I would try to do a little reverse psychology and "praise" the parents for looking into the rash in earnest. I would enjoy my time with the little guy and not focus on the rash.

I told dh the same thing not to mention it.GS has been with this rash anditching for a long time.They have tried everything from diapers,bland diets,soaps,creams,lotions clothing.Its so sad they wont even let him get sun my opinion lazy on mothers part.DH and itake him out with no issue,his mom says oh he would like that.GS was hospitalized on christmas day we almost lost him with seizures caused by low sodium levels due to his liquids being diluted with water.While he was hospitalized his skin cleared up the parents were suprised they said it was diapers no thats not it,My opinion again GS was not exposed to pet dander and it cleared and when he got home aday or two later his skin flared up again.You can bangyourhead against thewall with these parents and they seemto know everything and know nothing.GS is so pasty white,black hair,black green olive skin every little mark shows,her daughter has the same issue but her skin is darker complection.So i will try to keep my mouth closed but if they had that rash i bet they would run to dr.I can go on and on but i will getmyself upset thanks for letting me vent and support,advice.Im afraid for my GS.breaks my heart to see him itch so much.He is so beautiful.

black green olive eyes they look like 2 holes lol.Squeeze that in

You have already asked your DIL if she made appointment with the specialist and she said no. I think that is probably about all you can say. I know you love and want to help your GS so very much but unfortunately we are only the GP and not the Parents. You may jeopardize your relationship if you say much more of anything. The only other thing you could possibly say is if they want to make the appt you would be glad to take him?

I know nothing else we can do wehave even offered to pay for allergist/dermatologist.They blame everything and anybody.We spoke to our son today and i told him how good his skin looked his remark its going to come and go.The problem is it never left! Healso told me dil made remark when we took him home he stripped all his clothes and sat in front of a fan and that he was to hot at our house,we have ca,ceilingfans going at all times.My dh is livid.I told my dh that i see the future without my GS.His skin gets so inflamed and itches he gets it infected the ointment is bactroban and its all over even back of neck,behind,behind ears,stomache,its just sad and tells his mom it hurts.

You shut your mouth. It is her kid.

Pray for them that they will do the right thing for this innocent child.

Thank you for your kind words.I guess i annoy some people with issues but i think we all have issues if we didnt we would not be on this site.Sometimes you just need to vent and people may not like what i say but they can move on to another topic if they like.If we all kept our mouth shut just think of what might happen,it would mean we dont care at times.If i cant vent here does anyone know where i can go to vent.It may be there child but its my Grandchild and he needs a voice to talk for him.But thanks for your input chickensoup.

We are here to support and pray one for another. I care about you and your previous gs.

Sorry Your precious gs

Thank you for prayers and support

May I take a moment to compliment you and your husband for your continued fortitude in the ongoing interaction you have with your know it all deranged adult children and your precious three year old grandson.

You cannot press these deranged parents further BC their lifestyle that includes these animals takes precedence over the well being of their children period. It is 'your' opinion from your observations that the animals are causing the serious skin reaction your grandchildren are suffering. You could be 100% right, but it makes no difference.

Praise the parents for their love and care of your GC. Tell them you know they are doing everything they can for the children even though they appear clueless. Telling them you are getting an air conditioner for your grand sons next visit to assure he's comfortable.

This child is destined to suffer BC of HIS parent's stupidity and their lifestyle if the cause is the animals which a reasonable person would believe is the cause.

It is better for you as grandparents to be in his life for HIM than not to be BC of their arrogance.

OK how do I come to this opinion? Now I have estrangement that has been healed. I won't go into the details...I am in tn or ga....they are in Montana. Falling out back in feb2012....over GS who was 9 months old with his ocd controlling father. Needless to say this man knew it all...although he never had experience w a baby or child before. My browbeatened daughter was told when the child's daily bath could include soap! Dictated when the child could eat, what to eat and whether he could have baby lotion.

They had moved from fl to tn and me the grandmomma would babysit the child until it became increasingly clear that I could not satisfy this lunatic sil. Really! Then I said no more.

They moved to Montana after tn when my GS was one year old.now during the time in tn, my sip worked from the house and therefore had constant input on my gs and my daughter actually conceded to this ? Man. Now don't doubt for a minute that he didn't adore and love my GS. He does.

Long story short...right before they lest for mt I got to see my GS...it had been 5 months since I saw him...he was now 14 months old. What did I see? He wouldn't walk, he had to be held, he wouldn't talk, he was anti social and weird acting...really with both parents at home all day he probably was protected, regimented, scheduled too death!!!!! My take. I wasn't sure if he was autistic or not.I saw him for one day before my entitled daughter wanted to go to war again over her husband and my withdrawal!! Really. I won't even tell you the uglies he said to me.

With fortitude and love and prayer I reached out to them. Co tinged to send things to my GS ....my daughter had given me their new address. Well I will not go over the horrid this GS she said to me over the course of time....she became pregnant w my gd. I found out thru the infamous fb.

My sip now worked outside the home. Hallelujah. No invitation for me to come for birth...instead got a sentence text message that she was born.my GS was two at the time.

Well after my gd birth I continued to send things...eventually the communication started. I learned for example that a stupid pediatrician felt that GS was not progressing...his speech and social skills were not standard w boys his age. Well my daughter considered this Dr deranged d and found another one. I said nothing...but my gd is blossoming....

Then out of the blue they are coming to sc to see my dad.hey can you come? GS now 2.5 and gd is .5....wow of course! Been almost 1.5 years since I saw my GS and then to meet my gd. I went.

OK..my GS is handsome, size 4t...adorable. But he does not speak, will not interact, and is socially inept for a child his age. I could not pick him up much less touch him. I tried to help him put on his sweater at his gf house and the child recoiled...and this is after being around him for two days.

My gd was fine...happy well adjusted. And guess what all the rigid schedules and crap were gone BC now my daughter was in charge not the ocd freak..really. I told her during that visit that I could not touch or interact with him. I actually told her that god forbid.

So now today! Here we are 9 months later...he's 38 months old..his sister is almost 15 months old....and they finally had him tested! Yes by a speech therapist who has told him what professionals have tried to convey since he was 1.5 years old! I knew it, her family full of teachers knew it but it didn't matter.

She told me he isn't autistic but behind development in talking and socialisation... But he's smart and doesn't want to talk....and he's shy and that's why he's not really social. And then she tells ME that I favored my gd during our visit in Dec 2013. I told her that was not true. I told her my GS wouldn't allow me to interact with him.

Sooooooooooooooo....my grandson will be going to Montessori starting this next Monday three days a week for half days ....going in with his father who drives 41 miles in and out each day so they can live a lifestyle with their animals...three dogs three cats three horses...accumulated the horses over the past year. They live out in the middle of nowhere.

The fire has been lit. They know something is not right. They are finally doing something. My gd is growing like a weed..walking at 11 months, talking etc...why? BC my daughter is overseeing her. My GS in my opinion was hurt emotionally by his father and when he was away from me...I was there for the first 6 months of his life. My GS was forced to follow his daddy's regiment w my daughter not stopping it. I truly believe this impacted his development....banging his head at 12 months is an indication of his frustration.

I watched him hold down my GS while force feeding him. I told my daughter at the time it was wrong and not only that I would leave the room. So there you go...my story.

My mother and sisters have talked of this and as educators with advanc d degrees agree that my sil and complicit daughter have impacted his development.

I also want to point out that when they got to mt they had two huge dogs and two cats and no one would rent them a house. He owned his house in fl but could not sale it but the animals were not an issue. But they were in tn and in mt. So what do they do? They get another cat after that he dies...and get another dog after one of their three dogs die...and then get two horses and a pony.

Instead of leasing a house in a community in or near a large city, they live in the middle of nowhere with wood burning stoves for heat in winter. It gets so cold in the downstairs at note that the water bowls for the animals freeze. They sleep upstairs in a loft and each child has a room.

My GC are living without any interaction w other children. Its just bizarre.

And there you go. It is about what they want. Even though we were estranged back in the summer of 2012 when I learned of their plans to leave tn for mt, my mother and I called my daughter and cried on the phone for them not to leave and move that far away! And do you know that my daughter had the pure audacity to berate me and her family for not coming to mt to see them!!! I told her that when they lived in fl and tn family was going back and forth to see them and them doing the same. I said to think family would travel to mt is unreasonable. She said his family did....well his parents are millionaires by the way.

She wants me to come. Before dec2012 I was lucky to not be attacked by her. Than came happy mothers day chocolate covered strawberries...than a happy birthday card and thank you notes from my GC for boxes of things I sent them...and then invitations to join my GC fb pages....and now I have been told to come visit them and STAY at the house. I don't need to worry about hotel or car expenses...just come.

What is going on??? And my dad has another cancer and my sil who still does work for his family has to go there to fl and his parents s are flying in the whole family..him my daughter and both kids so they can visit and so they can go and see her gf in sc. And want to see me again... So I will go to chas in mid Aug to see them and my dad.

Do miracles happen? Yes does the Lord love you and your husband? Yes can you put this burden on him and ask for intervention and continue to be the most loving and understanding and forgiving? Yes you can. Do you look the other way? No no no if you must take a stand, but thes know it all parents love their son regardless of the he obvious stupidity. They have a lifestyle that supersedes their children.

My GC are loved by their parents...my daughter sees the differences between her daughter and son. We all know why. She knows too. She has taken the main role in his development...and you know her mil tried to talk to them about the GS back when she first went on a visit to mt. She's been there FIVE times in two years! They would not listen to her. She saw how my GS development was delayed and she was when asked if that ran in their family!!! It doesn't in ours.

So there you go. The mil and til were bashed and estranged from my daughter for two years!!!! But the mil went to help at her sons request when baby girl was born in may 2013! First time for two years for my daughter to see her and speak to her!!!!

Sorry for odd word placements..ha the auto correct is bizarre!!

I love my daughter and sil in spite of their actions. I recognize their intolerance and find it humorous that these two were the most tolerated during their teen and early adult years by their families BUT cannot offer such to any others Especially their families on both sides. The Lord is working on them I know, both were saved. So I pray and ask for mercy and strength. I implore the lord to help me when interacting with them. But even though I have continued on sending and reaching out I realized it was their call to reciprocate in any way. I can take immense pleasure in seeing pics of the GC opening my boxes and presents....I understand the horror of being cut off again...but they want more...they want me to physically come visit in mt. I can see them in chas in two weeks...I can interact.

Can I risk being in mt in his house with him? My sil? I don't know. I think too much of a risk maybe have hotel to be safe...maybe have car to escape if necessary?? Risky I think.