Prayers are going up for you. I think a time comes when our EC want to be viewed as adults and to be in charge, but they really don't know how to have this "adult" relationship with their parents except to be rude, bossy, etc. I learned, but too late for my ES, that I needed to just keep quiet and keep my thoughts to myself until he was mature enough to hear me.

Remember God gave us 2 eyes, 2 ears but only 1 mouth -- and he did that for a reason. Something I have to tell myself over and over because I am the one who puts my foot in my mouth all the time.

I pray you and our daughter have a wonderful time together.

PTL for this time you will spend with ED. God will help
you know what to do and say. Honor Him and be yourself. Please keep us posted. God bless.

My prayers are with you.

You have a wonderful open window that a lot of us Moms don't have. I pray it will go well for both of you.

Norske, this is so true: "I learned, but too late for my ES, that I needed to just keep quiet and keep my thoughts to myself until he was mature enough to hear me."

I am learning this lesson with all my kids, not just my ED. It is a hard lesson for a caring, previously very involved parent to learn. Whenever I am with my kids now, after this mess with the daughter, I try to be truly aware of what I am saying to them, and I think it has helped me a great deal. I don't get so wrapped up in their mistakes or woes, I don't offer advice unless specifically asked for and I remember my main relationship now is with my dear husband.

Already last night, I could see myself slipping into patterns with him that I had previous when my ED lived here. I did not like that one bit and am glad, for now, that this visit is only through today. It was so unexpected, I didn't have time to prepare fully for it. But it is mainly going well.

To me the high point is going to church together today. I praise God for that, for only in Him is there true healing, and only in loving Him more will our souls be well kept in this wicked world.

What I find is that the few times I do see my children, I end up saying something rather stupid because I'm nervous, and trying to be so careful. An example, at Easter my ES was there with his new GF. He was cold toward me, but at least I saw my grandchildren. His girlfriend was eating a butter tart which my DH made. What did I say??? I asked if they were good because my husband made them and forgot to add the butter…so they're butter tarts without the butter. Argh! This is the only conversation I had with her! She likely went away and said, "I know what you mean now, what a critical woman. She even criticized her own husband when he was kind enough to bake the tarts." Which is not like me at all…. I was just so nervous. I left thinking I really did it this time. I've proved him right!

CanadianMother - don't beat yourself up! Any normal young adult wouldn't even remember that comment or criticize it. If anything, it would probably deserve a comment like "really, no butter - they taste great!"

Thank you. :-)

I think we have been so severely hurt that it is hard for a normal conversation to even take place with these kids. I don't even know what I would say to my son now. I know that I want to blast him.

At least you get to see her and spend time with her, that's the blessing. I don't think I'd even know what to say if I got a call or text, let alone see my ED's. My oldest got married May 17th and I sent a really thoughtful, personal gift and NOTHING!!! I guess I should be grateful that I didn't get a negative response, which is what I was expecting. Anyway, I hope the meeting went well for you!!

Our meeting went pretty well. I was even able to take a few pictures of the two of us, which was nice.

She was pretty respectful to both my husband and myself. I found out she has a Christian therapist, which made me happy. She seems to still be running from the pain of her break-up with her boyfriend last summer(when all this trouble started), but I think she has a slightly better handle on her grief. And not blaming me for it, which is a relief.

For a few minutes here and there, we forgot the troubles and were able to laugh as in the old days. But things were def different overall, that's for sure. Such is life. I think she is maturing, which was good to see.

I see her in a few weeks for a wedding she is coming to town for. She may stay here, or stay with the bride-to-be, we shall see.

I am glad to have seen her, for sure. I know her siblings have been after her to mend this break. Esp her older brothers, so this took some pressure off of here, too.

EJMA - I am so glad to hear about your news with your ED. God is working in both of you. Looking forward to hearing more positive stories.

Praise be to God for this good report.

EJMA, so glad to hear your meeting went pretty well with your ED. You are very blessed to have other children who know both sides of the story and are supportive in wanting you and your ED to mend the break. That helps immensely.

My ED is an only child and she talks to people who do not know both sides of the story, so she can twist the truth, play the victim and get lots of sympathy. And that just confirms to her that she is right in blaming me for everything that has gone wrong in her life and that I deserve to be treated rude and disrespectful by her. That does not help our relationship at all. But I am still very happy for you and hope that your relationship with your ED will continue to heal.

Mary, Our ED sounds like yours. The only difference my other children are not on board with forgiveness. Actually, if they ever saw a truly repentant sister they may forgive.