Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group
This community is for the children of divorce, both for adult children who have lived through a divorce as well as parents concerned about the effects of divorce on their children. Share your story and get advice in this support group, where there are others going through similar challenges.
For years my parents have had a horrible marriage, this had a lot to do with the fact that my father, for some unknown reason, has never really loved my older sister (his first born daughter).
His excuse is that he was always working at the time that she was born, and as a result, he was not able to bond with her. In those days, my parents were struggling with money and my dad (a police officer at the time) had to take up extra shifts to make ends meet.
Years later and my sister ( 20 now) and my dad are not on speaking terms, though my dad is trying to make up for his mistakes. He's not the only one at fault though, they both have proud and aggressive personalities and they both provoked and challenged each other. I know, not a healthy relationship for a father/daughter.
My mum was always in the middle of their arguments, she couldn't understand why my dad couldn't love my sister. My sister rebelled a lot, took drugs, said horrible, hurtful, things and tried to tear my mum and dad a part.
I was pretty young when all this started, and I had to see some terrible things. I didn't really rebel as my sister did, because I'm more the 'suffer in silence' type. I secretly stopped eating a few years later, when my depression got the best of me (I'm currently 17).
Present day: My parents are divorced. My sister lives with my mother in the woman's community home (we still don't have that much money). There was a lot said about my dad having an affair with another woman, and my mum with a man. I don't know if this is true, as both parties insist that they were the one cheated on. I don't really care, because my parent's have not loved each other for a long time and if they have cheated, it was only as a desperate attempt to find someone to love again.
Still, my parents can barely talk to each other, and they speak badly about each other behind the other's back. My mum especially tries to turn me against my dad (she thinks she's being subtle, but she's anything but). I don't want to hear this any more! I'm tired, everything is ruined but I'm still trying to fix ME. I want to get better, to love myself, to feel happy. How can I do this when everything around me is falling apart? For god sake, even the family dog was given away! we're broken. I know it.
His excuse is that he was always working at the time that she was born, and as a result, he was not able to bond with her. In those days, my parents were struggling with money and my dad (a police officer at the time) had to take up extra shifts to make ends meet.
Years later and my sister ( 20 now) and my dad are not on speaking terms, though my dad is trying to make up for his mistakes. He's not the only one at fault though, they both have proud and aggressive personalities and they both provoked and challenged each other. I know, not a healthy relationship for a father/daughter.
My mum was always in the middle of their arguments, she couldn't understand why my dad couldn't love my sister. My sister rebelled a lot, took drugs, said horrible, hurtful, things and tried to tear my mum and dad a part.
I was pretty young when all this started, and I had to see some terrible things. I didn't really rebel as my sister did, because I'm more the 'suffer in silence' type. I secretly stopped eating a few years later, when my depression got the best of me (I'm currently 17).
Present day: My parents are divorced. My sister lives with my mother in the woman's community home (we still don't have that much money). There was a lot said about my dad having an affair with another woman, and my mum with a man. I don't know if this is true, as both parties insist that they were the one cheated on. I don't really care, because my parent's have not loved each other for a long time and if they have cheated, it was only as a desperate attempt to find someone to love again.
Still, my parents can barely talk to each other, and they speak badly about each other behind the other's back. My mum especially tries to turn me against my dad (she thinks she's being subtle, but she's anything but). I don't want to hear this any more! I'm tired, everything is ruined but I'm still trying to fix ME. I want to get better, to love myself, to feel happy. How can I do this when everything around me is falling apart? For god sake, even the family dog was given away! we're broken. I know it.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I understand your heartbreak. My kids and I are very sad too, because their dad kicked me out of our home.
I am sorry that your dog was given away, too. :(
You can learn to love yourself. You can get better.You can feel happy. Have you heard about 12-Step Groups? Please find out about them, because that will help you a lot. They have books to read and meetings you may be able to attend.
With much Love,
heathercliff
Also, thank you countrygirl10 for your response. I hope things begin to look up, but I gave up looking to God for answers a long time ago and normal counselling doesn't work either. Take care.
I am seeing a therapist and she recommended that any time my mom tries to use me as her sounding board, that I just shut it down. Change the subject. Walk away. State "Please do not talk to me about Dad in this way. I feel like you are putting me in the middle and it's hurtful." Sometimes confronting it head on is the only way.
And hey. A broken family is OK. You're right to focus on you!