my dad said that he would call the cops on my mum if i didnt go over to his house and hated every min i was over there. have your friend keep in contact with his daughter. they can go on lil dates if going to his house for a weekend is too much.

He shouldnt force her to come to his house in the end it will only push her further away from him. My dad came to my moms house one time with the cops and forcefully took me and my brother away from my mom. I hated him for a really long time and didn't talk to him a long time. Like kittykatkutter said have him stay in touch with her and make plans to see each other.

What you're describing is known as Parent Alienation Syndrome, which occurs when one parent sets out to make the kid alienate the other parent. This can be very damaging to the child and their relationship with the targeted parent. Unfortunately, it is very common during divorces and often continues after everything is finalized.

As for what your friend should do, that can be tough. As a teenager who is being forced to see her father, I highly suggest him not forcing her. While my reasons for disliking the visitation are different (he's verbally abusive, drug addicted, annoying, etc), I can tell you that each time I'm forced to see him I resent him more. Personally, I think your friend should let the daughter have her space, maintain contact with her (via phone, lunches, etc), and make sure he constantly reassures her he loves her. Outside that, there is very little he can do.

I wish him and the daughter all the best,
Erika

Love cannot be by force, the truth will always surface.

Its just natural for a kid to have a stronger relationship with one parent than the other. I was never really close with my dad and as I got older I found out what really happened. My mom never badmouthed my dad in front of me or my brothers but both my older brother and I moved out of my father's house. We could see how she really felt about him no matter how hard she tried to hide it. I ran away after my dad put all of my belongings in trash bags. My mom used to drive my brother to my dad's but as soon as he was dropped off, he'd run back home. In a divorce, neither party is every entirely nutral. I can garuentee you that your friend's daughter has been getting misinformation from both her parents. My mom is my very best friend in the whole world and what my dad did to her is unforgivable. I have very little contact with my father and every time I see him I get a little angrier. I would tell him to give her her space but invite her to particpate in his life. Ask her if she wants to go to the movies or dinner or a concert. Find common ground to build a relationship on

I don't know the situation. I know where I live, the cops have no legal right to force children to see their parents. Thank God. my dad is an abusive, pedophile, alcholic with skitzophrenia and a long history of attempted murder, stalking, and theft.

SO all I can offer is this, Forcing a parent to see a parent is one of the worse things possible. Maybe there's a reason, based on teh daughter's OWN opinions she doesn't want to see him. I don't know.

Yes, some parents do speak trash about the other. Some parents are better than others.

I would say, have him give her space. have him call now and again, telling the daughter how he feels. If he misses her, etc. Don't resort to force or trash talking or assumptions against his ex-wife.

That will help no one, and if there are lies about him, maybe only enforce them.

If he tries to hard, he will lose her. If he doesn't try hard enough, he will. I suggest offering short visits, every couple of weeks and calls once to twice a week.

I am so sorry to hear that. Clearly the mother has some unfinished business towards the father. It's easy to get back at one another all the while putting the kids in the thick of it, and it can seem too difficult not to be greedy, emotional, and make things just about the kids, especially when the break up isn't amicable, or even if it was, when the other parent seems to be doing better on their own than the other. For example, my daughter who is 7, her father (my ex) and I have I would say a committed, and focused parenting style geared towards putting our child's feelings first, rather than bicker because one of us may disagree with one another. It makes things so much easier, and clearer for our daughter to understand. But there came a time when he was out of work, knew he had to pay child support, and his girlfriend wrote me a letter behind his back to ask if they could stop paying support until they get back on their feet, but I didn't give in, and I said sorry and I feel for them, I really did, but I have my own family to look out for.

I have three children, the oldest two, girls 17 and 15 live with me full time.
The 15 year old wants nothing to do with her father and he believes in his mind that I tell her things to turn her against him.
This is not true. I myself came from a broken home and am the youngest of eight children. Eight children, no one is really going to make me believe I was a wanted child.
Anyways, I lived with my mother and yes she was angry and hateful towards my father. The last time I had seen him was when I was 9 and not again until I was 25, that was only because I went to see him with my oldest daughter.
I have told my ex to just call them and ask them how their day was. He needs to rebuild that relationship, they are hurt.
And for my children I say that I don't want their relationship with their father to become the same as what I have with my father, it is very cordial and we are truely like strangers.
So speaking from my experience if my dad cared I never new it and now it is too late.
Your daughter will come around you just need to let go.
Good luck.

I am having a similar problem with my daughter who is 13. Before my divorce she was close, loving, and kind. She always called to me before her mother to help her, tell her a bedtime story etc.. She was 9 then. She is now 13 and she hardly speaks to me and is rude when she does or during visitations she ignores me most of the time. I have been a loving, caring father to her and my 16 year old son who is very close to me. I rerassure her everyday that I love her, and that I miss her when she is not with me. No guilt, just love. Our divorce was a surprise to me and the kids. (She didn't love me anymore). I have told my daughter that if she wants to visit me that I would love that, but have given her a choice not to come if she feels uncomfortable. She continues to visit me. Did I do the right thing? Should I let her have a choice? I am so torn up about our relationship.