Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
I for one just would like to voice my opinion about the so-called stimulus check. All qualifying individuals get to enjoy this rebate (which is supposedly to jump start the economy) except for the ones who owe child support. Once again, punished for having a hardship. I don't want to hear that if you are behind in child support, then you are a loser and should have to give your left arm to pay it. I have and will still continue to pay back child support on a weekly basis because I was unemployed for six months before finally finding another position. I was lucky to have food on my table during that period (thanks to food banks). I was not sitting at home eating bons bons. I was out there EVERY DAY looking for work. I have had my bank account levied, (which means that I cannot use any bank account while I have an oustanding balance with child support) and my income tax refund was taken. I even called CS to explain my hardship and I was yelled at, they were verbally abusive, degrading, etc. And I called them because I didn't want them to think that I was blowing it off. I will never call again. That CS worker was a complete asshole and made me feel so incompetent. I was already down and out and feeling terrible about losing my job and getting behind every week on support. I was so stressed about this whole situation. Now, my ex is collecting all my refunds, has claimed my son two years in a row so enjoys the extra refund and now he's going to collect his refund, and the stimulus refund for himself, my son and mine. Just doesn't seem fair. I feel like they are kicking me when I'm down. There is no way in hell I'll catch up any time soon. I can really see why some people get so discouraged and end up in jail. (I would never do that purposely) but the system has absolutely no compassion for life's problems that arise. Just venting....
Some poeple just don't understand that things happen along in life that are unexpected...happens to everyone...and I'm sorry you had such a hard time dealing with the people at the CS office...again...very rude and not called for...I think because they are lied to so much they automatically think everyone is lying to them...which is totally not fair. I guess you just have to take one day at a time...you will eventually get caught up...but it will no doubt take longer to catch up than it did to fall behind. Take care and good luck to you.
I hope things get better and work out for you!
There will always be fathers and mothers who don't carry their weight and don't take care of their children. Child support is a huge deal and has to be a priority. While I feel horrible for those people who loose their jobs and can't put food on their own table let a lone a second table. They still have to attempt to provide some support to their children.
Personally, in situations like yours there should be a hardship granted. You shouldn't have to worry about losing a refund check that could help you get back on your feet to satisfy back child support especially, if you were trying to find a job and let the appropriate people know what was going on.
I have to wonder....if you were still with your children's other parent would the situation be the same? I doubt it. There would be 2 incomes to help with the burden not one. I think that too often parents get caught up in getting even with an ex that they don't look at the big picture.
Bottom line...child support needs to be paid, but if there are circumstances that are beyond our control we should be able to be treated with respect and dignity. It would also be nice if the system worked for everyone rather than just a few.
First of all, I am terribly sorry about your situation. I was in your shoes not too many years ago. This was my second marriage. I have 2 other children, one that I never received a dime for and his father left and was never heard from again, the other one paid one amount for 18 years and I never increased it. He only took my daughter once in a while (for a show piece). So I totally understand what it is like to be a single mom - extremely difficult and stressful. I raised my other 2 children on my own and also went to college while I was on welfare so I could better myself. I hated being on welfare, foodstamps, and living off the system. Now today, I am faced with being on the other side due to problems that I faced while my ex and I were trying to reconcile. I turned to drugs for my peace, which in turn made me lose everything I ever loved. For that, I will always be regretful. But, now I am back on my feet again, living clean, have a nice job, and would love to have my son back 50/50, which is what we had before this situation. My ex used my problem to get custudy and child support. He NEVER had the concern when we were married, but all of the sudden, I am the bad person and he thinks he can do a much better job raising our son. So, I've had to pray also to deal with my grief and to go on and just keep my son priority. I have no problem paying support and have kept up with it while I was employed. I also buy my son clothing and food, despite the fact that his father is supposed to be providing those things. His dad seems to think that by spending the money on going out, dirtbikes, video games, trips, that it will impress my son. I the basics of living and I still have love for my son no matter what and will always be there for him. I hope that things will also get better for you. I agree - you should definitely be receiving support. It wouldn't be right to just let one parent have custody and not provide for that child. You fight for what is right for you and your children and be strong! LOL
Child support is a means of supporting a child you created WITH another person. That person did not create the child alone. And if they were unemployed for 6 months, diapers would not be free, and food would not be free (not sure the age of your child but you understand what im saying) their needs are not automatically met when the cp is unemployed, so the same should be true of the ncps status. Just beacuse you are unemployed, your child doesnt become free, and your child still has needs that are to be met by BOTH parents, it doesnt just become the other parents responsibility to incurr your hardship as well. The stimulus is EXTRA money. You still would have survived if you never received it because 6 months ago no one knew they were gonna get it.... so allow it to go to your child and stop complaining about not getting it. YOUR child/ren come first!!!!
no the other children do not need our irs stim check, MY children need it because the OW has already taken enough and she is getting a stim check as well. I am the wife, not a girl friend, not an ex, the WIFE. And yes, we are footing 100% also.
I think that this is pretty much proven by how we work our asses to provide for our children since their fathers wont. My daughters dad REFUSES to pay child support - he even got out cs case dismissed...
Just because he doesnt wanna pay, doesn't make my bills any cheaper, it doesnt make diapers of formula any cheaper....it doesnt make her eat or shit any less.
Men want all the same rights as women, but don't want to share in the same responsibilities, and I'm so sick of hearing this over and over.