So this is a bit of an introduction and a bit of a rant.

So I'm Ben, I'm 24, I work for my grandfather's scrapyard, I own a pick up truck, I make an incredible wage. I'm currently trying to work out a relationship with an 18 year old woman (I know what people are going to say I hear it quite often), it seems to be smoothing out since my baby was born. I live a straightedge lifestyle which means I abstain from drinking, smoking and recreational drugs. I'm going back to college next year to enter policing. I live in a small town which means lots of small town drama. I've spent most of my life trying to avoid it till I met the mother of my child. This woman has put me through hell and back BEFORE she got pregnant. She broke up with me twice, both times she couldn't do it face to face, she would use me for money though she would never admit to it, she would constantly be on the look out for new boyfriends. She plays games, yada yada yada. Fact is the only part that actually matters is when we got back together after she got pregnant. We were broken up but for about two months we were only sleeping with each other (this I've had proven). Eventually we started having flings until we found out she was about two months pregnant. I was the only possibility so we decided to get back together. We got a place together, then I found out she lied about having sex with a good friend of mine. The lie cost us the relationship. I tried to work on putting the trust back in, but as many people had warned me, she wasn't one for working on anything. She decided to go with the easier route and one day I came home from work, she had packed up my stuff and told me she was in love with my good friend and that she wanted me to leave. I took the break up hard, but forced her to leave the apartment (since it was my name on the lease, my money that was paying rent and my name on the bills). If not for that baby, I would've never spoken to her again. Luckily, I had a baby on the way and nothing she could do would ruin that for me. I got agreements ready, worked out all the custody and support issues (I only sought joint custody in three day intervals [3 days with me, 3 with her] and because of that I was told that I wouldn't have to pay support but I made an agreement to pay her $200 a month in order to make sure my baby had everything she needed while she was with mommy). I switched into parent mode fast.


December 4, my ex finally had our baby girl. We named her Jolene and she looks just like me, it's insane. I'm in her life as much as Telly (my ex) will let me be. I get her maybe two hours every night (which is better than what quite a few dad's get, I'm aware), it still doesn't feel like much. I'm trying to make sure that bond is there between her and I. Telly's boyfriend and my former friend, Christian, lives with Telly and my daughter. He sees her so much more then I do and I'm plagued by the fact that he seems to think he's taken on the father role. Telly doesn't set him in his place very often, but I do. Today was one of those days. Telly and I had set it so that I would pick Jolene up at 4 pm and I'd have her till 8 pm. Unfortunately, her dad stayed longer then expected so I didn't get Jolene till 6 pm. Her bed time is 8 and since Telly is breast feeding but can't use the pump, I'm pretty well SOL for over nights at the present moment. When I went to drop her off, my girlfriend gave Jolene her soother (which is something both Telly and I are trying to keep as a last resort), well it was an honest mistake but unfortunately when I dropped Jolene off Telly remarked it and harped me on it. The final words were "Remember that you're the parent not her"; well Christian chimed in "He's barely a parent". So I bit my tongue cause I wasn't about to lay into them on their front porch while I was fuming mad. I decided to go home. I got home and I had a text from Telly saying "I didn't mean for my comment to discredit you. I just really don't see the point in giving her the soother if she doens't need it. You should know better." Now I explained to her over text that I didn't give her the soother, I barely use it. It was my girlfriend who did and I told her as soon as we got in the truck that Jolene isn't to get the soother. But it's the comment Christian made. If my girlfriend had said something like that to Telly, I would've amonished her for it. You don't let statements like that go, especially not when the father of your child is ACTIVELY in your child's life, sees her for a few hours everyday (because you can't use a pump) and pays you twice was he's supposed to in support so that you and your boyfriend (who works full time at a coffee shop) can pay rent because you blew your money on Magic cards and video games and new cell phones. Am I wrong here? Like I understand, I'm lucky that I'm allowed in my child's life because there's so many fathers who wish they had what I did. But I feel like in this I'm getting completely short handed. Can anyone tell me where it's written that I have to support not just my child but her as well when she left me? Or where it's written that a proud father who wants to be in his child's life more can't be, especially when he works a great job, makes better money then the mother and her boyfriend combined and can provide all that child needs? Like all I sought after with our custody agreement was joint custody because I felt it would be wrong for one of us to be locked out of our childs life..I've heard from a few people it seems like she's trying to cut me out and use me as a cheque.