I have somewhat of the same problem with my ex-wife and our daughter. Fortunately, she doesn't have full "custody." Although my daughter lives with her, the parental responsibility is equal between her and me. So I'm petitioning the court to be designated primary residential parent and for her visitation times to be supervised.

Perhaps that's something you could do as well (supervised visitations). But, you must do it through the courts. No way around that. You may have full custody, but during the periods of visitation, your ex-husband, unfortunately as it seems, has the primary say so over what your son does.

Maybe you're overreacting, maybe not. Only you can answer that question with 100% accuracy. However, it behooves you to not let the situation get to a point where you can't handle it anymore.

Whatever you need to do, do it as soon as possible.

Good luck!!

i agree with what salsaguy said about attempting to get supervised visitations. Is there any record of your ex's abuse? I wonder if there is any way legally to document any of this? I would consult with your attorney on this matter. You definitely don't want your son in a violent environment. In my opinion it can lead to problems down the road as your son gets older.

He should have the sense to care enough to let him do other things... does he use that as a babysitter?

My ex definitely uses the video games and other inappropriate things as a babysitter. I have been in contacts with the courts and a mediator and they tell me the only thing I can do is file a motion to see what they judge can do. I may have to do this. He comes home from his visits and all he does is talk about inappropriate things. It really hurts my heart. My son has been seeing a child psychologist for about a year now and she told me that even though he is not really exhibiting violent behavior, she feels that it would be in his best interest not to have a relationship with father. Unfortunately, I do not know of any abuse in the home.

I hate to say this, but the court system will not do anything unless he is actually physically harming him (and you have proof) or neglecting him to the point of endangerment. I was also very concerned about my ex-husband's negative influence and poor parenting of our son and tried to get help through the court system, but there are so many women who are just trying to get back at their ex's or get them out of their life, the judges are very particular and wary about a mother's complaints. Even when my ex was exposing my son to extremely inappropriate sexual behavior and slept in the car in an abandoned parking lot rather than getting a hotel while visiting, the judge just basically told him not to do that anymore and that was it. As for the inappropriate behavior you would have to have proof such as a video or have your son testify against him, which he probably wouldn't want to do and may make things worse. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way (and expensive way) that the court system won't help much with this type of thing. The best way to help is with your relationship with your son. Talk with him about why certain things aren't appropriate and try to interest him in other things. Maybe you can get better non-violent video games that you allow him to play while with you. Instead of guns, maybe you can interest him with a light saber (Star Wars). These are things I've had to do with my son and he is now 16 and doing great - an honor student and a very moral and honest child in spite of the negative influence of his father. It took a lot of prayer, and a lot of involvement in his life with very open communication and support, but we've made it. Keep a positive attitude and don't degrade your ex in front of your child. Take the high road and show him the better way. In time your son will see and respect you for it. I hope this helps. Good luck!

I agree with Legirl. The courts will not do anything.. Be VERY CAREFUL that they dnt use that against you! They can easily say that you are doing everything to deny him his rights as a Dad.. Do talk to your son and be the best mom you can be.. Not very easy to do on a daily basis but be kind and generous so he can see a good example from you. You can not change his Dad, and belive me, the courts will only look at you as a nagging mom.... but NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Good luck!