Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
Hi,
I have payed child support for my son for 9 years now and glad to do it. He lives one hour and a half away and I get him everyweekend. I do all the driving. We settled on an amount in the courts and that amount has never changed. I clear around a $1000/week income and that includes support taken out already. State of Illinois is 20% support one child. I pay $600/month now. If you take $1000 and add one week support to that and then multipy by 20% you will see that I pay much under the 20%. She was nice and knows I do all the driving. She uses much of the support to pay bills.
Here is the prob, my wife now. She sees that I do alot of driving, I also usually pay for much of my sons sports over and above support. She can't take it. She thinks that the ex runs over me and comes before her. I will help out the ex for my son only, if she doesn't have the money. I figure that makes up for the less than 20% that I do not pay, plus I get to enjoy the extra money spent with him doing the sports and so on rather than her having the extra money anyway. I try to explain to my wife that if i went to court to get her to meet me halfway all the time, that she is going to come after me for the whole 20% and that would be much much more than the $600 i pay now, prob like $900. And then she would really freak.
She has no kids and can't have children. She is a great step mom and loves my son. She wants things to change but I do not know what to change and really, I don't want to change anything regarding support or helping when needed financially for my sons benefits or the driving. Maybe the driving but like I said, that would involve court.
Thanks for any advice/similar situiations.
I have payed child support for my son for 9 years now and glad to do it. He lives one hour and a half away and I get him everyweekend. I do all the driving. We settled on an amount in the courts and that amount has never changed. I clear around a $1000/week income and that includes support taken out already. State of Illinois is 20% support one child. I pay $600/month now. If you take $1000 and add one week support to that and then multipy by 20% you will see that I pay much under the 20%. She was nice and knows I do all the driving. She uses much of the support to pay bills.
Here is the prob, my wife now. She sees that I do alot of driving, I also usually pay for much of my sons sports over and above support. She can't take it. She thinks that the ex runs over me and comes before her. I will help out the ex for my son only, if she doesn't have the money. I figure that makes up for the less than 20% that I do not pay, plus I get to enjoy the extra money spent with him doing the sports and so on rather than her having the extra money anyway. I try to explain to my wife that if i went to court to get her to meet me halfway all the time, that she is going to come after me for the whole 20% and that would be much much more than the $600 i pay now, prob like $900. And then she would really freak.
She has no kids and can't have children. She is a great step mom and loves my son. She wants things to change but I do not know what to change and really, I don't want to change anything regarding support or helping when needed financially for my sons benefits or the driving. Maybe the driving but like I said, that would involve court.
Thanks for any advice/similar situiations.
I ean there are some women like my hubbys ex who is glad to go to court any chance she can get, plus she uses parental alienation tactics which can play alot worse on a marriage... 900 a month your wife should be happy when you bring home 3000 aside..
Your son needs you in his life, things are going smooth...Driving isnt all that at least you can have your son..Take money away from X and you may have another whole ball of disaster to deal with...
I guess what I would do is take your wife away for the weekend and explain we are doing alright, you are not interested in any modifications at the moment..This is what was agreed on at the time of the divorce you arent about torock the boat because no matter what the guy doesnt ever win in courts , the courts dont look after the children like they really should so its really only the two parents..
Now if you were to get the child more time then by all means modify..even that may be iffy...sounds like you work alot and he may be in the best place to be anyways..
Thank you for being a great dad and making sure that your sons needs were being met..
you may want to spend more time away with your wife so she does not feel so put aside or cant find the words for it..Its definatly hard blending families..its even harder when the man gets raked from child support that he has no control over...
Wishing you the best right now you have it pretty good...You could be 8.41 in arrears because ccs does not take out the proper amount from your check and get dl suspension notices, bank account seisure notices, tax refund interruption notices and a b*&%$# X that doesnt allow you to see your kids at all..
My suggestion dont rock the boat...Enjoy your son , the drive and the little amount you have to pay..along with enjoying him in the very sports you get to watch him play at...Wishing you the best..Its hard being a step mother but she also needs to know what the courts can do to a man..
But there is a way to make it work by spending more time with his spuse and making her realize they are doing well off enough...and making her realize there isnt much he can do to modify...
Any updates???
When I married my husband I promised to love him and his boys. I can't imagine telling him not to do something for the kids.
Sorry but she needs a grip.