Child Support & Custody Support Group
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I going thru alot in life in general, but I'm having problems with my 15 yr old son,hes now decided that he can yell and cuss at me tells me I'm lying, that I'm full of BS, just out of control ..
Well, Sunday he came home from his Dads without his weekly school report which is something I requested, Dad and I are serperated (surprise)
He proceeded to throw the biggest fit because he said Dad said it was OK, Well we have had this conversation before, I can't enforce my rules when hes at his Dads but when he comes home the consqueneces will remain and be effictive. I'm talking calling me names slamming things saying he's leaving going back to Dads (Sure you've all herd this before).
So again today Friday I asked for weekly report it 's not good he's failing PE and has d and a c in the rest missing assignments so forth.
Well he again threw a temper tantrum yelling cussin, So i told he was grounded he went into a further rage, I said give me your phone , He said no and of course I said its my phone he said he didn't have too, Well I took it away physically had to.
After things calmed I tried to talk and told him heI would not tolerate him talking to me that way, anyways he didn't stop..
This is my problem I was so mad furous ( I'm sure you all have felt this rage) I hit him with a slipper , I hit him on the back, not like I beat him with it Just reach over and smacked him with it. I was picking it up from where he had thorwn it early.I hate how I feel, but I can't let him know, but I swear I just wanted to smack the crap out of him. I really did try to walk away but to no avail on account of both of us. I feel like I'm a screwed up parent I never wanted to get to the point where I just want to smack hi.
Help what to do, with him and myself..
I'm going to couseling he doesn't like it he gets bored. we are both ADHD. not like that an excuse.
BUT HELP!!!
Well, Sunday he came home from his Dads without his weekly school report which is something I requested, Dad and I are serperated (surprise)
He proceeded to throw the biggest fit because he said Dad said it was OK, Well we have had this conversation before, I can't enforce my rules when hes at his Dads but when he comes home the consqueneces will remain and be effictive. I'm talking calling me names slamming things saying he's leaving going back to Dads (Sure you've all herd this before).
So again today Friday I asked for weekly report it 's not good he's failing PE and has d and a c in the rest missing assignments so forth.
Well he again threw a temper tantrum yelling cussin, So i told he was grounded he went into a further rage, I said give me your phone , He said no and of course I said its my phone he said he didn't have too, Well I took it away physically had to.
After things calmed I tried to talk and told him heI would not tolerate him talking to me that way, anyways he didn't stop..
This is my problem I was so mad furous ( I'm sure you all have felt this rage) I hit him with a slipper , I hit him on the back, not like I beat him with it Just reach over and smacked him with it. I was picking it up from where he had thorwn it early.I hate how I feel, but I can't let him know, but I swear I just wanted to smack the crap out of him. I really did try to walk away but to no avail on account of both of us. I feel like I'm a screwed up parent I never wanted to get to the point where I just want to smack hi.
Help what to do, with him and myself..
I'm going to couseling he doesn't like it he gets bored. we are both ADHD. not like that an excuse.
BUT HELP!!!
-Spare the Rod Spoil the Child!
However, I wouldn't advocate spanking or anything like to get your point across. Even if it was a good idea, at age 15 it is way too late.
At a calm moment in your relationship, how about sitting down in a neutral place, like a coffee place or something, and talking about how things are going. See if you can elicit his feelings about the setup and the relationship between you and his father, the divorce, your illness, everything that is happening in his life including the part you don't see directly, at school and at dad's. Try to spend the whole time just listening, do not respond, do not judge, try not to make any faces. Only say, hmmmm, wow, I see, things like that. Really listen. Tell him up front that you are only going to listen, not judge, make any rules, etc.
After that, you will have hopefully a lot more info to understand what is going on with him. Then you can see the next step.
Your son is probably having all sorts of mixed emotions. Read the post of the daughter caught in the middle... Acting out could be a way to try to grab your attention. At least when you are mad at him, he has your undivided attention. When my kids act up, I literally MAKE THEM sit on my lap and read, play, watch TV. After about 30 minutes they are much better. Not that you can put your 15 year old on your lap, but some good 1:1 quality time might help your problems?
Good luck!
tx