Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
My husband was divorced in NY, one of the worse place for noncustodial parents, (men or women). I use to receive my child support for my son but it stopped when he was 18 and I did not have to go to court in the state I live in and I was fair to my son's father.
What I can't understand why is it that in NY the noncustodial parent has to file for allocation,? He was told that he has to serve the custodial parent to end child support for his 21 year old son?
They gave my husband a court date almost a month and a half after his son's 21st birthday to appear before a judge to end the child support? I am beyond words because we are barely making it.
What can my husband expect when he appears in court to ask the judge to stop the child support? Desperately need a reply.
What I can't understand why is it that in NY the noncustodial parent has to file for allocation,? He was told that he has to serve the custodial parent to end child support for his 21 year old son?
They gave my husband a court date almost a month and a half after his son's 21st birthday to appear before a judge to end the child support? I am beyond words because we are barely making it.
What can my husband expect when he appears in court to ask the judge to stop the child support? Desperately need a reply.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Personally I see too many women rely on cs , have not made wise financial decisions when they got it. When its all done with they have nothing in the end. If they have not worked they do not even have enough to get social security at an older age..It would be no wonder it would be hard to make ends meet if they had not prepared for this day.
It is my recomendation not to count on getting any extra money, but a bonus if you do..And do seek out another employment to meet those needs. Child support is for raising a child when they are old enough to get even a mcdonalds job they should also do so. Its not a way to provide for the X wife, its supposed to be 1/2 of the burden on both parents to rear a child financially as well as being there emotionally.
Aside from you needing the money, [X] he has fulfilled his financial obligations , time for this young man of a son to also start pulling his own weight for a while!
Having said this, I totally agree with you. I asked my husband, what is his exwife going to do when the day comes when she can no longer depend on his money. I do believe in Kharma and know that everything she put our family through will all come back to her. I am a woman with a conscience and a heart and I would not be able to live with myself if I had done what she had done to all of us.
Regarding the young man being able to work. He son does, he does it under the table. His mother controls him and makes him feel guilty if he doesn't agree with her. He loves his dad but that is his mother who is very manipulative.
A little over a year ago, my husband had agreed to a cost of living adjustment but his exwife did not agree with it. Not a suprise there.
The female judge ignored my husband's proof of the threat of an eviction notice, outstanding electric bill of over $3000 and turn off notices, etc...
The judge saw my husband's paycheck and thought my husband made $100,000 which is laughable.
She ignored that he explained it was due to overtime for a project that summer that we had been praying for. We needed the overtime but being the economy is so bad, the company gave little of it to none.
So the blessing that we thought we had that summer turned out to be a curse. It took 8 grueling months of the judge taking out 65 percent of my husband's pay. We were left with 200 a month. Our rent alone was $1500.
At the end, the judge finally saw that it was overtime but instead of doing the right thing and leaving it as the cost of living amount that we had agreed on, she averaged it out so we ended up still paying more child support to his nineteen year old son and twenty year old son who will be 21 this month.
And the cruelty of it all is that years ago, my husband's exwife had threatened her husband when they were getting divorced that if he asked for joint custody and custody she would take the kids and take them back to her country where he will never find them.
When I had met my husband, at that time he told me what this witch was doing, I encouraged him and helped him to get joint custody. I explained to him if he doesn't have custody then if the witch does leave the country with his sons then he can never have rights to them.
Years ago, he got the courage to go to court. And when he did and the judge asked his exwife why she wouldn't allow him to see his son. She replied that he NEVER paid any child support.
What his exwife did not know was that he saved all the copies of his child support checks he had sent her. The judge then was a fair one and saw that his exwife lied and even threatened her if she ever returns to court and lie again that she would have her arrested.
Unfortunately, those records that proved what his exwife had done and how she lied are not found. Because NY has the worse filing system. So we couldn't even use those papers to show the judge.
I have heard horror stories about non-custodial parents and how they are treated in NYC but until we experienced it ourselves, we were not able to believe how bad it really is.
My hope is that there will be no more surprises and that when my husband goes to court this coming April that the nightmare would be over. I can't imagine the court making my husband continue paying child support if his son decides to go for his masters.
But again, this is NYC.