Since you and your ex seems to be on good terms is there any way you can sit down with him and discuss matters? I'm sure he would be willing to work things out for the sake of your son and his special needs....avoid court if you can...sounds to me though talking to him would be the best place to start...good luck.

I agree with Kathy - I would speak to him first and maybe he can take up some of the appointments so you can stay at work and possibly pay the co-pay for those appoints? Also if you are on good terms maybe he would be willing to adjust seeing the kids to more fit into your sons routine, custody agreements are set in place so when the parents can't come to an agreement there is something to follow but they are not set in stone. GL

yes talk to him and see if you can work it out. i am stepmother to child with autism so i understand the need for transition to go smooth. i also understand the financial burden of having a special needs child and urge you to seek more child support, which will have to go through the courts, but it is very important because a special needs childs needs will grow as they grow and since the disorder he has is considered a disability the child will get child support for the payors lifetime if they are unable to support themselves, this is something your ex needs to understand, hopefully he does. there is no way we could let my ss go to his biomom 2x week and every weekend, he would come unglued over all the changes all the time, not worth it to us because we live with him, we are the ones that deal with the 'after effects' of visits. he goes every other saturday night and that is a court order based on his disability. judges do understand special needs, hopefully u can get this worked out without a court date but if it gets to that dont feel bad, you are advocating for what is best for your child!

I will attempt to speak with him again. I have went over all the appointments with him and he cant make it, says he has to work. Well, not to sound bitter, but so do I. Our court order already says we are supposed to split all the medical and child care expenses but that is not happening. I dont want to go to court. For one, I dont know what to expect and two, w have made it this far without it. If the judge awards me that custody due to his needs and hikes up the support.... that might turn out badly for all. I suppose I will just talk to him, tell him what our son needs and tell him I hope we can handle it out of court?

dont be afraid to take it to court, you are primary care taker of a special needs child, that is a 24/7 job with no breaks, judges know this and make orders accordingly. hopefully your husband will understand and agree, but i strongly urge you to go ahead and take it to court, since he isnt doing his part now, he probably isnt going to agree to anything more. it is a hard job taking care of children, throw in special needs, it makes it a whole different ball game and you must have the support you and the children need from their dad, willingly or by court order, this is about what is best for your child. if your ex turns bitter over this, then he will just have to live with it, its not about you or him, its about a child that has needs that must be met, even if dad cant/wont help out, he can at the very least help on the financial end. does your son get therapies? most insurances wont pay for the therapies and then there is the gas to get to the therapies, your time off work, ect. some people never understand just how much it costs when a child has special needs, it is very expensive and physcially exhausting, you need to try and work it out, but go ahead and get prepared for court, the only bad thing that could come of it is ex not happy about having to do his fair share, and if that happens, it will be a very selfish thing for him to be unhappy because he is ordered to help take care of his children. dont worry about how he might react, thats his problem, you have enough to deal with right now, dont worry about him.

I have to agree too. The less time you spend in the court, the better off you both will be. I would definitely start by talking to your ex about it and then you can feel for how the situation is going to be handled. As far as child support, would he be willing to voluntarily give you more money? You can google the child support guildelines for your state to find out exactly the court would order by filling out a worksheet. Good luck to you!!