Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
My story is VERY long & drawn out, but I'll try to make it the short version...
I have just filed for custody of my two wonderful children-ages 5 & 3. Their dad (we were never married) has a substance abuse problem. The latest issue was that he picked them up from school in MY car and then went & got beer & drove them home under the influence. My daughter has told me, her grandma, and the school counselor that he was "drunk". HOWEVER, I allowed him to drive my car (obviously he wasn't drinking then) only because I was ill and could not leave, well, the bathroom. My lawyer has advised that we may not be able to bring this up, because my ex is only supposed to be driving the vehicle that has the breathalizer on it due to two previous DWI's. Since that vehicle is his father's & was not available, I "allowed" him to drive my car-that could be a strike against me.
Previous to this situation, we have been split up and gotten back together several times in the 8 years we were together. He has been verbally & physically abusive. One incident was reported & I did file a 50-B in that case. Later, I dropped it because I didn't have the money for a lawyer (still don't, but it has to happen regardless). He is the Great Manipulator, meaning, that anytime we have been to court- he lies about everything. Example: Last time he told the court that I had tried to "strangle myself with a seatbelt."
He abuses alcohol, marijuana, and prescription pills, although I fear we won't actually be able to "prove" this.
I'll be asking for full custody/child support (although he doesn't currently work) and really just want to connect with anyone who might or who has been through the same type of situation. This is a whole new ballgame for me, and although I know things should go in my favor, I've heard horrible stories & still am alittle panic-stricken for this process to begin.
I have just filed for custody of my two wonderful children-ages 5 & 3. Their dad (we were never married) has a substance abuse problem. The latest issue was that he picked them up from school in MY car and then went & got beer & drove them home under the influence. My daughter has told me, her grandma, and the school counselor that he was "drunk". HOWEVER, I allowed him to drive my car (obviously he wasn't drinking then) only because I was ill and could not leave, well, the bathroom. My lawyer has advised that we may not be able to bring this up, because my ex is only supposed to be driving the vehicle that has the breathalizer on it due to two previous DWI's. Since that vehicle is his father's & was not available, I "allowed" him to drive my car-that could be a strike against me.
Previous to this situation, we have been split up and gotten back together several times in the 8 years we were together. He has been verbally & physically abusive. One incident was reported & I did file a 50-B in that case. Later, I dropped it because I didn't have the money for a lawyer (still don't, but it has to happen regardless). He is the Great Manipulator, meaning, that anytime we have been to court- he lies about everything. Example: Last time he told the court that I had tried to "strangle myself with a seatbelt."
He abuses alcohol, marijuana, and prescription pills, although I fear we won't actually be able to "prove" this.
I'll be asking for full custody/child support (although he doesn't currently work) and really just want to connect with anyone who might or who has been through the same type of situation. This is a whole new ballgame for me, and although I know things should go in my favor, I've heard horrible stories & still am alittle panic-stricken for this process to begin.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
You can try asking for "supervised visitation" - but you need to be very careful about what you say about your ex. The judge may feel you are instigating "parental alienation." I'm not trying to scare you - just trying to prepare you that things generally do not go the way we think they should or the way we want them to.
Hugs.
When you say 50-50-what do you mean exactly? He is currently saying 50-50, but meaning he wants them two weeks-then me two weeks & so on. I think that would be a horrible situation for my 5 year to be in considering she just started Kindergarten. Will they take that into consideration? She is having alot of issues that I believe to be triggered by things she's witnessed.
In addition, (I warned you all it was complex ;) my son is actually not biologically his, which he does not about. There has never been a DNA test, nor did he ask for one, but I know if he does-he is basically forfeiting his right to that child. (or atleast that was the lawyer's take on it)Could I ask for one or would that not be in the interest of my case?
I appreciate any words of wisdom! :)
Have a blessed day everyone.
A DNA test would relieve him of any child support requirements and the state would have you go after the real father. If he pays child support for 3 years, he is legally required to pay child support until his 18th birthday - this is called. "Accepted responsibility" - doesn't matter whether the child is his or not.
Hugs....