Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
Well I'll try and make a long story short seperated 3yrs agreement was shared custody, he was to keep us in house until son gradutes 2011, he is now renegeing, wants to sell house.I can not afford to live here if this happens, this is why the agreement was made in the 1st place. Son is 15 he stated he doesn't want to move or relocate.
So heres the deal.. X is now campainnging for son, that is how my son describess it, games,allowing him to do things he should do, just playing it really phoney nice. My son is very aware of this. I can't let myself be pulled into this. for my X it's about money nothing more over the last 3 yrs he's missed over 2/3 of visitation, and now is almost forcing son to be there with him, stating that if he doesn't come he will lose the house because he can't afford child support,( I'm was not even going after him for more support) the only reason it was brought up was because we are going to court to stop him from selling home (actually put it on market in sept.07).
I'm so scared of losing my son to the manipulation, I love my son, want whats best for him , I would even have him go with X if I thought it was what was good for him. X is a functioning alcholic, my son knows this, but what kid wants to be with a Mom who has rules and expectation of his behavior, when he could have freedom with no rules..
Okay I tried to keep it short, but this is killing me...I don't know what to do or how to handle this situtaion.... I'm really lost, I don't want to particpate with the manipulation...
HELP!!!!!!
So heres the deal.. X is now campainnging for son, that is how my son describess it, games,allowing him to do things he should do, just playing it really phoney nice. My son is very aware of this. I can't let myself be pulled into this. for my X it's about money nothing more over the last 3 yrs he's missed over 2/3 of visitation, and now is almost forcing son to be there with him, stating that if he doesn't come he will lose the house because he can't afford child support,( I'm was not even going after him for more support) the only reason it was brought up was because we are going to court to stop him from selling home (actually put it on market in sept.07).
I'm so scared of losing my son to the manipulation, I love my son, want whats best for him , I would even have him go with X if I thought it was what was good for him. X is a functioning alcholic, my son knows this, but what kid wants to be with a Mom who has rules and expectation of his behavior, when he could have freedom with no rules..
Okay I tried to keep it short, but this is killing me...I don't know what to do or how to handle this situtaion.... I'm really lost, I don't want to particpate with the manipulation...
HELP!!!!!!
For the son my first though would be family counseling for the two of you. Nothing specific or too focused on this or that, but general family counseling just for both of ya to check in with each other with a third party there to see if they notice anything that might've been missed. Even without family therapy ya can still likely talk to a family therapist just for yerself to get into the specific details and dynamics of yer situation to try to get some idea's on how to approach things.
I just finished the court required parenting class last night myself (which the Ex hasn't even signed up for yet) and they discussed a few of the things that yer now facing. If yer state/county has any form of parenting class that might be a good resource to check into as well.
Bottom line is I agree fully with not getting caught up in who can buy the kid the most stuff or has the fewest rules. I haven't hit that part of this whole mess myself so I'm afraid that this is the best I have to offer.
-Gil