Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I was unfaithful to my boyfriend for a period of time.
He ended our relationship after a few weeks.
He told me that I need to tell him EVERYTHING...that is the only chance (albeit slim) that we will have to get back together.
He wants every detail. From how often I met with the other guy, where we met, what non sexual activities we participated in as well as details about sex (he wants explicit details)
Is all of this really necessary?
He also wants me to tell my parents (I am in my 50's) and to tell my grown kids - that I was unfaithful to him.
In not so many words, I honored that request.
But I'm having difficulty with the providing him with all the details.
What do you think??
He ended our relationship after a few weeks.
He told me that I need to tell him EVERYTHING...that is the only chance (albeit slim) that we will have to get back together.
He wants every detail. From how often I met with the other guy, where we met, what non sexual activities we participated in as well as details about sex (he wants explicit details)
Is all of this really necessary?
He also wants me to tell my parents (I am in my 50's) and to tell my grown kids - that I was unfaithful to him.
In not so many words, I honored that request.
But I'm having difficulty with the providing him with all the details.
What do you think??
When the woman is the BS, she has a problem with the emotional connection. When a man is the BS, he has a problem with the physical connection. Now these can be interchangeable but most of the time this is how men & women differ. BS's....I said most of the time...not all the time.
Telling your parents & grown kids is part of the 180 recovery but I don't suggest it. The reason for the 180 is to break you out of the fog where you will feel remorse & want to save your marriage. If you aren't wanting to remain in the A, this is not necessary anymore.
Tell your asshole BF to get counseling. My opinion is he wants to manipulate/control you. He's already trying to separate you and your family by getting them to sympathize with him. Why on earth you'd want to be with someone like that is beyond me.
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Infidelity/forum/19471967-vengeace-ow
I am so sorry you experiencing this with this man....but I have to agree with the others, he is being kind of mean...plus he is dating other women.
You said 'I can't see why he can't get pass it'. He has. He's dating other women. He made his choice but, and maybe in not the most eloquent of tones, JD and the others are right....he's not into this anymore.
You can try to ask to meet him so you don't have an email exchange and people are often quick to say things in email they wouldn't say face to face, and in a meeting you can read body language and tone......and if nothing else, put some sort of closure in place so you can move on. It seems he has.
Make some friends here, journal, we've been where you are....the questions, the feeling like we don't know how to move on......you are in a good place.
Your BF needs to see a psychologist because 99.9% of them will tell him that the only questions that need to be answered are
1) Is it over? and
2) Do you REALLY want to be with me and work at restoring our relationship?
That is it. Nothing else. Otherwise the questions never end and the likewise the hurt never ends.
I DID go to therapy and my therapist DID say the exact same thing he wrote. We talked extensively about this. The other thing was (and the vast majority of BS's on this site will disagree) but my therapist told me AND a priest told my best friend (she was also having an A)...don't tell the spouse. If its over, you are remorseful, you are working on your relationship....telling may help YOU relieve the guilt, but it won't help them.....