Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
Thought I would share this, thinking it may be helpful for those who are feeling like they are going crazy during the beginning of NC....or relapses much later in NC process. It was helpful for me to realize that A's are addictions - it takes the fantasy out of it. I have had most of the withdrawals (physical and emotional) listed.
Some things mentioned that really hit home was that the post-acute (emotional) episodes can last a few days. And that it takes about two years before you stop having "episodes". Makes me understand the hard work ahead of me to get my life back together. God, the A really wasn't worth it.
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The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts, at most, a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.
PHYSICAL
Sweating
Racing heart
Palpitations
Muscle tension
Tightness in the chest
Difficulty breathing
Tremor
Nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea
The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms. Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms
EMOTIONAL
Anxiety
Restlessness
Irritability
Insomnia
Headaches
Poor concentration
Depression
Social isolation
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.
Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.
Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse.
Some things mentioned that really hit home was that the post-acute (emotional) episodes can last a few days. And that it takes about two years before you stop having "episodes". Makes me understand the hard work ahead of me to get my life back together. God, the A really wasn't worth it.
___________________________________
The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts, at most, a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.
PHYSICAL
Sweating
Racing heart
Palpitations
Muscle tension
Tightness in the chest
Difficulty breathing
Tremor
Nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea
The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms. Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms
EMOTIONAL
Anxiety
Restlessness
Irritability
Insomnia
Headaches
Poor concentration
Depression
Social isolation
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.
Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.
Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse.
On the lighter side, post acute withdrawal syndrome gives us the acronym PAWS. Almost makes you want to have it.
how long did your A last?
don't know if this tip would help or not, it did for me (though mine was short, only 2 weeks): i think of a nasty, revolting aspect i found in the partner, for example he claimed he really loved his gf. it really takes the fantasy aspect out of it when you just think of their actions. i am often disgusted by my own actions and hate myself, but i try to hate something about him even more. maybe silly, but it's been effective in stopping me from contacting him.
hope you are doing better!
I don't know WM. I think an A can correlate more to a feeling that it gives you similar to the feeling a drug gave you. Like I need that coffee in the morning..... It's the feeling more than the actual drug itself. Personally I took Percocet once and was out to lunch for about 24 hours.....so yeah, I'm thinking it's less about the drug and more about 'the feeling' similar to the feeling those get that enjoy their Percocet. I'll stick with coffee :). Ice cream is good too.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66cYcSak6nE
I love these words (from Gabor) on your link.
Addicts, what do they get?
The contortions that we go through just not to be ourselves for a few hours
The Oblivion
The escape from our own minds
The distraction from our own minds
Addition: any behavior that gives you temporarily relief, pleasure but in the long term causes damage but you can't give it up, no matter the consequences.
Drugs by them selves are not addictive. The question is why the susceptibility in the brain of those who become addicted? Food is not addictive, but some are addicted. Shopping is not addictive, but some are addicted. Sex is not addictive but..., drugs are not but..
From the lack of love to the desire to escape oneself
Unfortunately, I have yet to get out of my A. I am stuck. I love him but am coming to more of a realization daily that I could not be with him. I still don't think my H can fill my void either. I have been going to therapy 2X a week and really understanding myself, my weakness, my broken parts. I am getting there -- however slowly.