Taking care of elderly parents can be overwhelming at times. Have you talked to your doctor about the degree of the anxiety you are experiencing? This post doesn't sound like you. Normally you're pretty upbeat. I don't like seeing you like this.

My anxiety isnt real high. My depression is sort of. I have had these thoughts for several years. I really wish it was over. Lot less stress in my life then. If I didn't have a disfunctional family, I think things wouldn't be as bad. Just wishthngs could be different.

She will be one day. This will not be forever. Hang on!

Which all factors made you so depressed? Do you really wish to get away from your mom? I agree its quite tough to deal with elder people. There are so many servicers available to take care elders with various ailments. You can get any elderly care services to look after your mom. this will minimize your stress and depression to an extent. We hired a nanny from Diamond personnel, Toronto (http://www.diamondpersonnel.com/eldercare/) to look after my grandmother who is suffering from dementia. We are happy with her services.

I admire you who are shouldering a much heavier load than I am. I was taking mail to my dad the other day, and the box tipped over in the parking lot.

Not a biggie, right?

I yelled at that mail for doing what it did, cussed it out up one side and down the other.

Really loud too.


I felt a little better after I did it.

I also felt a lot stupid after I did it.


Not trying to hijack your post, just saying that the stress of what we do can be enormous, and we all look for relief. I'd love to be able to send you a foam target thingy and a bat so you can just wack it to your heart's content. (I often dream of doing just that!)

Gentle hugs, I know this is very hard for you. It is hard for all of us.

Pepper, now that was funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't tell you how many times I talk to myself driving to and from work after my mother has set me off, yet again! It's just so hard sometimes trying to drive like a normal person and not a KOOK who's been driven over the edge of insanity!

You see Barbara, we all have our days, you're not alone in your travels...

Barbara, I don't think there are many of us out here who haven't, at one time or another, wished our elderly, ill parent dead. This is a hard job, and a lot of us did not have good relationships with our parents as we were growing up. If you can, please get someone to help you and go out and have some fun, or just rest. Give yourself a couple of days away from your Mom.

Thinking of you. (((HUGS)))

I am sure there are many adult children that wish their parents would just up and die. I had those thoughts many times when my parents were still alive but not really "living" so to speak.

When my time comes I truly hope I can kick the bucket before I become a huge pain in the arse to anyone!

So anyway maybe you should go out and kick the mailbox too! It might be fun! But if the neighbors see you............ That could be a whole other story!

two reasons I wish my mom dead....her money I am greedy and the fact that she is in so much constant pain....that is the one that I do with love...the greed is bad thing so I love my mom so dearly that I want her around more than I want her money....it is my sick mind though that wants what is not mine....greed is a bad character defect...which I ask God to make objectionable and remove from my life...yet I cling to it like red die in the white wash on hot cycle...LOL

I think we all have some of that going on, if our parent(s) have any money that is. Or if we think they do.

Bill it is brave for you to admit it is somewhat about the money. IMO many of us are thinking the same thing to one extent or another....

Especially if the parent with no life to speak of just hangs on until they financially ruin their adult children.

I was grateful my parents did not outlive their ability to pay for their own care!

And yes. There was a bit left behind for us but it was a gift freely given in advance.

Trust me. We EARNED every nickel of it!

So don't feel bad anyone for admitting there are financial concerns involved. Because there ARE!!!!!

bill ~ I admire your honesty about wanting your parents money. No judgement from me.....but do remember me and try to share with me if possible.
My parents stole 10K from me.....spent it.....and then told me about it like it was nothing.
My dad has passed, but mom is down to the bottom of the barrel. I hope she goes before I have to support her.
She just told me the other day that she intends on living several more years. My math says if that happens.....she'll outlive her money!!!!! I don't think after what my parents pulled on me I really don't want to support her. Call me a bad daughter if you want....but I'm a bit bitter.

I thank god everyday I am the only one that knows what I think sometimes. Then I thank god it was only a human thought.

Hi:-) I lurk often but post very rarely.
I have a 72-year-old mom in my house who is being relocated as soon as the case worker finds a place.
I hate that I feel that way.
On the other hand, childhood abuse by my dad (her husband) and my sis (her other daughter) is why I have PTSD, and her anger about my PTSD and her aging? She's gotten verbally abusive, destructive, hostile, it's just an emotional powder keg....

While I don't wish she'd just be done with life?
Heaven help me, I cannot wait for her to be out of my house. As far as I know, Mom is flat broke, but ye heavenly hosts, right now for all I know she's financially better off than I am, and I grrrrrowl that if I find out she had $$$ all these years she lived off me? I'm officially flipping out.

On a more serious note, sometimes, the only way to gtake care of ourselves is to take care of others *at a safe distance*...

So give yourself a break. I'm flying solo (dad and sis both died over 20 years ago), and yeah, I wish things were different all the time. every minute. Now. But that's okay. who'd *want* to be hip-deep in emotional turmoil? Nobody. Just like nobody wants to feel old and frail and bitter.

Supportive vibes to you.

This is a very difficult one to reply to. I do feel your pain but I could never wish for my parent to die.

I am sure that there is a much longer story behind it....I hope. The only way I would wish for death to come soon is if they were in so much pain and death would be a relief from the pain.

My Mil is in assisting living and fortunately that she does have the funds..... but not sure how much longer it will last. We have never worried about it but she does. She want's to leave the family her money but we couldn't care less about that.

My Dad died in the nursing home and my Mom had to spend so much money just to have sitter's with him when she couldn't be there. They lived 4 hours away so sitting with him everyday was not an option for us.

You know, you know the end is coming but when it happens....it is still devestating.

I was in the grocery store food shopping for Thanksgiving when I got the call. I didn't now whether or not to hide in a corner and cry or just keep shopping. I actually did both.

God bless to all of you. And like I have said before; I NEVER EVER imagined myself here.

A chystal ball would have been a big help.
xoxo