Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
We sent a gift to my wife's sister, she never got it. I got the trace from the post office (first time I've ever done that!) and they claim it was delivered to a mailbox. How it got lost after that, ... no idea.
Now my MIL wants to send a copy of the trace to her daughter. I asked her why, and her reason was so that she would know that it was not our fault.
I saw no good coming from that, and a lot of possible bad. Telling her it was not our fault suggests that it is her fault. Sending the report may be seen as us telling her that we don't think that she believes us when we said we sent things for her college age children. It could also make her believe that we are chastising her for not getting the packages.
So I declined to give her copies of the trace. (Things are a bit strained between my wife's sister and the rest of the family. I don't want this to make the issue any worse. Family is important; we lose them to death sooner or later, but I do NOT want to lose her to a simple lost package issue.)
Do you think I should have let my MIL send a copy of the trace, and hope that any ill will would be between mother and daughter? (MIL is loved by all her children, even when there are hard feelings and stress.)
Ideas???
TIA
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I'm feeling down,, and got alot on my mind right now. I got grief going on, on top my depression and anxiety and now I got to worry about somewhere to live since I can't afford living here since my mom passed. So many bad things have happened since my mom passed. One thing after another it seems. Yesterday our fence fell from a storm that hit, had to call someone to prop it up. Thank...
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
I am thinking that it might be a good thing to give MIL the trace so everyone will know that the gift was sent and it was not your fault that SIL didn't receive it. And so what if she doesn't believe you.
If she wants to act like a child....treat her like one. But I think that Mrs. Pepper needs to be the go between with her Mom and sister.
I had always been Switzerland when it came to my MIL and kept my mouth shut but I was sooo biting my tongue!!
Give your Mil the trace and have her decide what to do with it. She wants to see the trace and let her see for herself what happened. And if she didn't believe you...she will now. And so what if she sees that it was her fault. I think that that would be a good thing.
We all at times have hard feelings and stress with family but with love for all everything always seems to work everything out.
Hugs.
That might be because there have been some problems with this daughter Pep..... Maybe she's worried that her daughter might think she wasn't sent a gift??... Could that be possible?
Perhaps she's feeling some insecurity...... I think I would just let her send a copy of it with a little note so say 'this is when I sent the gift'
Big hug.....xo
But by all means yes, MIL is very insecure
If you think it works cause more problems tosend a copy of the trace then maybe you shouldn’t do it. Not really a time to start more family drama.
Just a thought. I don’t know how it is around where the daughter lives, but around here. We have a big problem with porch package thief’s. People are constantly taking packages off of other peoples porch. If they get caught, they d9nt get in a whole lot of trouble, so it really doesn’t stop them. Also another thought, I guess I have trust issues, but is there any way that th daughter could be lying and that the package was delivered, but since she. Requested no gifts, she’s acting like it didn’t come. Just a thought
But if things are that bad, ... I don't want to know about it!
I do agree it sounds like the Mother-in-law wants to prove that a gift was in fact sent.
So, the issue has, by default, passed with no copy being sent.
And even when she died (just a few months ago) I was still out of the loop and that was fine with me. And I was pretty much grateful for it. And now I am still out of the loop as every fusses about who gets what. That is not a loop I want to be in. I hear bits and pieces and I do make my concerns known to my DH. And believe it or not he does listen to me. lol
Mr. Pepper, I so hope that Mrs. Pepper can get to the bottom of the mystery of copy or no copy.
And if things are that bad, I wouldn't want to know about it either.
Hugs
Carly, thank you for your kind words I could write a book on my narcissistic mother in law. I am super lucky that my husband turned out to be such a tolerant man but I definitely know why he is tolerant.