I'm not sure about this. Who decides who is responsible for someone who is probably not declared incompetent. I don't think you need to be worried about this, and I doubt most of us do. At least I HOPE so!

But you are right. it IS scary and something we need to keep in mind.

The article is short and hopefully left off details. Here's the link:

https://www.dailyherald.com/article/20111229/news/712299876/

Wow. Is there any way that you can control the funds so he does not do that? That seems so very unfair to you. If you cannot get control of the funds, you can't be held responsible for what he does with his money - in the above situation, I am thinking she had control of the funds, he was not mentally competent, and she abandoned him. That isn't the same. You are doing all you can that is within your control, but I would look into seeing if you can gain a bit more control of his expenditures...

The thing about my father is he's very good a appearing sane when he wants to be. He's not going to reveal that he thinks the bank and the insurance company stole his money and the man next door changes things in his backyard. I've got to have proof and it's not easily gotten. He'll have to get much worse. So, I told him that if he doesn' buy food or medication then I'll call the cops. I fully intend to follow through. I can't have him starving while getting his garage done.

My Mom was doing something similar. Seemed more capable and could be charming when she wanted to be. But when mad at me, through her body at me (bumped into me while I was standing still), she yelled Elder abuse. She told everyone. I went to her DR with it first. My Mom has vascular dementia. And something undefined. It took medication, POA, and encouraging her to focus on better aspects of her life.
Once POA then you are liable to oversee whomever.
Since you dont live in house, can he qualify for meals on wheels?
Your agency on aging or hospital may have info to help him.
BTW, I also went to the Alzheimer clinic to learn how to help her.

If Dad has money to buy food and you know it then take him shopping. If he has a fit in the store stay calm and dont get out your check book. Say you forgot your purse :)
Let Dad have his fits in public. You can assess if being at home triggers him to behave poorly or if he has random episodes,

Just some thoughts. I wish you the best here.

P

You should call your county health agency. Explain all of this to them and ask that they send someone to do an evaluation on your dad and his living conditions. If they find that he is not competent to manage his finances they will recommend to the judge that you be given POA. This will allow you to transfer any assets he has and any money he receives into a trust account that he cannot access. Then you will have control of the finances.

You might want to first talk to your dad about doing this voluntarily. Explain that it is still his money but you will help him manage it so that he has enough for food and other necessities.

Tigg, none of this is possible. My father has been this way his entire life. He's learned to cover his condition. He can appear normal under certain circumstances. When I try talking to him he becomes angry and throws me out. It's a nightmare. His mental illness was somewhat under control when he was on medication. Then the medication was discontinued and he said he'd been healed. His healing is imaginary. He's been completly out of control. This has been my entire life, but now I've started telling people about it. Before I was ashamed and wanted the facade he presents to the world to be real.

County Health knows how to deal with this. They will also keep it anonymous so he won't know you called. They get calls all the time about elderly people who are a risk to themselves.

I would also mention to them that he has stopped his medication. Give them the name of his doctor and they will check to see if he stopped against doctors orders.

my mom was on aricept and discontinued because she said it made her feel bad? She is generally in good mood, but can't do anything withmeals, finances, et... and lives with me, can't drive, i take her to all the appointments.
If I have to go somewhere, anywhere, I ask her to come along but sometimes she jst wants to sit and watch TV . The other day i went to appoinment 3 1/2 hours with driving and she said it was four and was all pissed off! later she calmed down. She likes to be with the animals at home but resents it if I go out, even though later she is sorry. She gets mad! says i should call but id do and she has 2 hearing aids and can't hear the phone. daughter stayed with her for 3 days this last week so we could take a short trip. ??? what to do??

Dee it sounds like you are doing the best you can. With the elderly you have to try not to argue. Often they won't remember later anyway. Try diversion. Have some topics ready for when she gets mad. Nothing will change your mom but you can change the way you handle things.

Tigg2 is coming up with a place to get information at least for a time things may get more advanced.
It is so hard to see a person with a mean temperament always, as someone who has similar outcome but for a different reason.

My Mom always was a bossy dynamic woman with a mean streak.
She was relentless even when I became an adult. Standing up to her did no good, She still pulls her stuff, but her memory is based on years gone by at time. Not now, she cant remember. So she seems to be the same old meanie that I always knew. I see it now though. She is really a very ill woman who is stuck in the past. I am not though. And can out fox her....for now.
I want to add that xanax is a quick fix but wears off and the person returns even more aggravated. Klonopen (spelling?) offers longer acting effects. My mom is so much more mellow.
I began saying how tired she looked. Asked her how she was feeling. Kept at it for weeks here and there, One day she told me awful and asked for help sobbing. I have seen her cry maybe 6 times ever,

Just some thoughts to kick around
P