Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Monday morning I got stung by a yellow jacket before I left for work. Now I'm racing to get the Epi which is up in my bedroom bathroom. I ran into my mother running through the house; once she heard I was stung she's now trying to beat me up the stairs to get to my bathroom, which really resulted in her just being in my way.
Once all that is done, I'm now waiting for the reaction to set in so I sat in the kitchen with my mother who was completely unnerved by the whole thing. Understandably. Realizing I needed to get gas before going to work, my mother offered to run up to the gas station and fill my tank so I wouldn't stress myself out... That was cute so I said, yes that would be great. I gave her my bank card and off she went. About 20 minutes later she came back and said, your card didn't work so I used my discover card. She said, I put your card in and it didn't ask me for your pin number so something was wrong. She said, I went to several of the pumps but your card didn't work in any of them. Alright, I left and went to the gas station and talked to the attendant. He said, oh we changed our systems over the weekend, you don't need a pin number anymore.. I said, oh okay, so she just didn't realize that she could bypass the pin number and just insert the card, choose the gas and start pumping.
NOW, here-in lies the rub!!!!!!!!!!!! All those pumps that she went to, she never cancelled the transactions. SOOOOOOOOOO now I have several charges coming into my bank account for "FREE" gas that she gave to people behind her. Right now only 1 out of the 7 charges is showing up for $30.05 that never went into my car. There are 6 other pending transactions for $1.00 (authorization) showing up in my pending transactions. I know what she did, she put the card in, it didn't ask for a pin and asked just to select the gas and she figured there was something wrong with the pump or my card and kept going to another pump to try that one. We've been using this gas station for so many years and never had a problem. I'm really upset that they changed over their systems over a weekend and never put up a notice on the pump of "No Pin or Zip Code" required.
Called the bank, almost nothing they can do when using a debit card., although they will try to dispute it. I'm patiently waiting to see how much free gas I've given to people.
Someone, JUST SHOOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once all that is done, I'm now waiting for the reaction to set in so I sat in the kitchen with my mother who was completely unnerved by the whole thing. Understandably. Realizing I needed to get gas before going to work, my mother offered to run up to the gas station and fill my tank so I wouldn't stress myself out... That was cute so I said, yes that would be great. I gave her my bank card and off she went. About 20 minutes later she came back and said, your card didn't work so I used my discover card. She said, I put your card in and it didn't ask me for your pin number so something was wrong. She said, I went to several of the pumps but your card didn't work in any of them. Alright, I left and went to the gas station and talked to the attendant. He said, oh we changed our systems over the weekend, you don't need a pin number anymore.. I said, oh okay, so she just didn't realize that she could bypass the pin number and just insert the card, choose the gas and start pumping.
NOW, here-in lies the rub!!!!!!!!!!!! All those pumps that she went to, she never cancelled the transactions. SOOOOOOOOOO now I have several charges coming into my bank account for "FREE" gas that she gave to people behind her. Right now only 1 out of the 7 charges is showing up for $30.05 that never went into my car. There are 6 other pending transactions for $1.00 (authorization) showing up in my pending transactions. I know what she did, she put the card in, it didn't ask for a pin and asked just to select the gas and she figured there was something wrong with the pump or my card and kept going to another pump to try that one. We've been using this gas station for so many years and never had a problem. I'm really upset that they changed over their systems over a weekend and never put up a notice on the pump of "No Pin or Zip Code" required.
Called the bank, almost nothing they can do when using a debit card., although they will try to dispute it. I'm patiently waiting to see how much free gas I've given to people.
Someone, JUST SHOOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How long do pumps stay ready once authorized? That is another detail I am interested to know. Don't they know inside on the switch board that pumps are ready for pumping?
Moms try some times don't they. I think it was nice of her to pump gas for you. Wow. I am excited over hand washing the evening dishes!
But her help with kitchen trash misses a lot of thinking when she tossing the bag outside the back door and forgets to tell me. Birds and other animals drag it all over and it is a fun mess to pick up.
I do hope things turn around for you on this. Sorry about the Bee too.
P
I forgot all about mom. Peacful - thank you for reminding us that pd's mom was trying her very best to help out.
Please forgive me for losing my cool and missing that part. She was being a really great mom. Hubby is highly allergic and has epi pens on every floor in every room, every car, his office desk, home desk
They are literally lying around all over.
Every single person in the house knows how to use the pen in case he stops breathing before he can do it himself.
We administer and race to ER if he is talking, dial 911 if he can't breathe.
So I know mom was just trying to help out. And really IT IS NOT HER FAULT!!!
The cc theft thing is true. Just because a pump shows ready does not mean someone has the right to steal gas without paying for it. And those who let it go to you knew exactly what they were doing.
Please forgive me missing the point
Sunny
So, I've only lost out on one transaction, that was the $30.05. All we can think of is that maybe a person pulled up to the pump that my mother inserted my card with and saw that it was ready to fill and just decided to try it.
I went to the gas station this morning and talked to the attendant and he said it would be impossible for this to happen. Really????
I pulled up to one of the pumps as I needed gas anyway and inserted the card and it did exactly what my mother described. Never asked for a pin or zip code #, just went right to select fuel and lift pump. I've used my debit card to make purchases on line and haven't need to use a pin or zip, it's treated as a credit card, but I've never actually inserted the card physically into a machine where it didn't require one or the other. So, who knows! JUST FYI EVERYONE... Beware, it can happen.
I felt bad for my mother, she was trying to give me a check for $1,000 last night for all the charges and for all my calls to the bank yesterday... I'd hand her back her check, stick it in her pocketbook, I attempted to put it in her bathrobe pocket but she kept shoving it at me so I tore it up. She was all kinds of upset that I tore up her check that she had already put in her register. Oh Brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!! draw a line through the register... Too funny sometimes.
I'm in a much better mood today; so happy that it's a small loss and not a big one!
And Tigg, you were right, the two excuses this morning from the bank were; 1) it's a pin transaction so someone had to authorize the charge AND, I let an unauthorized person not listed on the account use the card.
But, thanks again everyone; I was sick over this yesterday. I don't know what I'd do without this site sometimes..
Hugs
PD
And with that said hoping the stress is backing off. The bee sting is bad enough but the pen makes for a crappy day or two. So are you feeling better? Is Mom settling down. You know, I would tell Mom how you feel about the sister telling in a negative way. But then, maybe sister thought you may need some cash to help this out and ma would write that check. Ma is just trying to help and you are understanding about this.
But the folks my feel feeble some days. Want to do what they use to and miss the mark on tasks. Sometimes they know it sometime not.
If you Ma has some cash and 1K is nothing for her to write, then maybe accept it but tell her you are putting it in a safe place for going some place w her. Shopping, or day trip, visit somewhere. Just thinking. Sorry I went on so much here.
PS. Sparrows Kidneys :) wow...awesome smart remark. Love it.
Cheers,
P
I heard about the boards last night too from hubby. He was just waiting to see what charges would come through before he did something. Apparently he knows the owner and the attendant at the station. Nice of him to tell me???????? He's going up there this weekend to talk to the owner.
My mother is financially set; she and my father spent nothing and saved everything. It wasn't till after his death that she had some financial freedom. She and I argue a lot over who's paying for the groceries or who's paying when we go out to lunch or dinner. Drives me crazy sometimes! When my father was alive she had no money because everything had to be put in the bank, some cd or whatever investment they had in mind. I was so used to buying for her that it's very hard now to take anything from her. I'm uncomfortable with it. If ever I should need it, I know it's there.
Anyway, the bee sting reaction wasn't that bad considering it was a yellow jacket. Those and wasps are the worst for me. I didn't feel good Tuesday but I'm not sure if that's from the reaction, the Epi or me just not feeling good for a day. Today I feel fine.
The sparrow comment; yes I told my husband once that he had the kidney capacity of a sparrow after drinking a beer and he was so insulted by it. Based on his reaction to the comment it was the worst thing I could think of with her lack of keeping a confidence
Thanks again everyone, you're all the best!