Thanks so much for the kind messages.

They are much appreciated.

Take care of yourself. You need strength both emotional and spiritual to continue to help mom now. Even Jesus took time away from the demands of life to pray. Our secular society calls that vacation.
If he needed time to revocer himself, then we must follow his example so we can continue to be the heallers that we are meant to be.

Realize that i have to make sure that I take better care of myself.

I keep trying to keep in touch with friends, to do stuff that is fun. The problem is that, when I do things with my friends, I still visit mom. It just means that my days are even fuller and I end up more tired.

Somehow I have to just slow down altogether. Maybe I will have to take the suggestion of going away on vacation.

I think you need to trust the care givers in the facility. Visist with frineds and allow yourself to have the pleasure of the visit. You don't have to feel guilty for enjoying time with others to the point that you feel you have to make up for your pleasure by a visit with mom. That just causes you to feel pressed and stress duing bisits with mom.
She will wait all the time even right after you leave. No one can do it alone with out rest. All you are doing is taking a rest.

It is like putting your own oxygen mask on first then helping mom.
You have a good visist with friends, it refreses your spirit. Bask in that refreshment for as long as you need to let it settle in your soul.
Then visit mom another day so you are refresehed.
This will make those visits better for both of you.

Total enmesment is not compassionate. It will only burn you out. Then mom will have no one.

i can truly see why jesus said that the gate to heaven is very narrow and very few pass through those gates. it certainly opens my mind even further and i can now see why so many never make it and so few do there is always someone or something that gets in the way of something that is so good yet so hard to tackle but through faith and love all things are possible. faith is the key unless god has given you the gift of faith no one shall know what that truly means from the heart rather than just some words that are spoken from a book.

god bless

"regardless of the motives and circumstances, Jesus did leave and abandon his family. Jesus seemed to have broken the commandment about honoring your parents. He follows his own path and picks strangers as his disciples, basically anyone willing to love him and follow his path. When he meets his mother years later, he answers that she may be his mother, but that essentially, he is motherless.

In other words, Jesus did not only abandon and forsake his family, he denied them. Why would such a person who is filled with love and who inspires others to love and forgive each other, be so cruel to members of his own flesh and blood? Did he himself not follow what he preached?

The problem is more complex. In fact, he probably had no other choice. Familial love and concern would have limited the impact and the ambitions of this influential man. For example, his parents would have never agreed with his lifestyle a nomadic life with prostitutes and cripples along with the dangers that their son would face, leading eventually to his tragic and painful death.

In many ways, if he had not abandoned his family, he would have felt limited and constricted by their protective love for him. It was a liberating and even necessary move to remove the familial shackles and to create something that would last far and beyond into the future. As such, he extended the human notion of family to include and embrace all of humanity."

Thought police always characterize ideas and opinions that they disagree with as "dangerous." That cheap rhetorical device implies that they are bad, not just wrong. Oooh, I'm supposed to worry that your kind will think me a bad person if I don't change my "dangerous" mind.

Others ideas are not dangerous, and you haven't backed up your statement by showing any way in which they are.
Apparently, your idea of "dangerous" is that this idea forces a logical conclusion you don't want any line of reasoning to reach.
The worst is those who use vague references to the bible and others ending up outside heaven for ever if they refuse to believe the same way the thought police constantly press on everyone else.

jesus was of divine nature as well as man he never abandoned his mother she stood at the foot of the cross and he passed her over to john and said this is Your Mother.he did honor his mother Mary. who is our heavenly mother in heaven as well as Earth there is no other.


god bless

The replies to my initial post have been very helpful to me.

It is good to know that people care enough to take time to put down their thoughts.

This thread is getting to be rather long and the past few replies, have left me a little bit confused.

I will see how things go with mom, for the weekend and then will start a new thread where I will update you with how things went.

Thanks again for your caring.

I am not sure of the last page and how they apply at all.

You clearly need to take care of yourself. There is nothing selfish about making sure you are well, get sufficient rest, and take time for yourself away from mom.
Those above claiming it is selfish are the ones who leave helpless parents lie on the floor while they wait for firefighters to come and lift them up. In my opinion, it is selfish to leave parents in a situation with a cargiver who is unable to get them off the groud ASAP. But that is my opinion. I am not trying to force it down.

Sorry hun,

I just get so sick of people making claims that any self care we take is horribly selfish. When those comments come from someone who leaves her own mother lie on the floor to wait for the fire department to come rather then lift mother herself, it is pretty clear that these comments are nothing but judgement and attempt to justify her own selfish behavior.
Makes me think she is the one who is really being horrible selfish and putting mother last.

Perhaps I should reply to her posts rather than speak out on yours.
You are doing a great job with mother. She needs you to take time to rest from the stress. This work will get too hard for you if you allow it to constantly be a stressor. I think someone else mentioned that you worked hard to find a place that is good for mother. Trust that you did the right thing. Mother will never be left on the floor to wait until the fire department is free from a resuce of an injured or ill person. That should be a comfort to you.

I will say this once geekies and harpies you two should go crawl up into a corner with complete shame for expressing among st yourselves in a open forum what someone shared in their life a traumatic event and pain and using that information to express yourselves and demean that person who was seeking support you two should be ashamed of yourselves.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,god help you with you lack of compassion............and especially your vindictiveness

i will pray for your poor souls today...........
god bless you two you need it.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,