Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I am about to pay the bills for Mom again. She has me sign her name for her, and trusts me without even checking on me. I am not technically allowed to sign for her, which bothers me, I only have her oral permission.
I have so many projects that I want to get done around her, putting things in different spots, moving shelves, hanging a new grab bar, arranging a couple of closets. On top of everything else I do, it is just overwhelming. I really could use a hand. For example, in February I traded out my bedroom with Ma and Pa's, but now all my pictures are in their room. I have been meaning to fix this for a long time, but I never seem to have the energy. I might hire my cleaning lady to act as my "helper" on this stuff. Also, I have a couple of closets (3) to sort out. And a shelf in the kitchen needs to be removed: it blocks clear passage of the walkers. Ugh, so much to do.
That's not counting the big box of paid bills which sits in the parlor that needs to be organized. Oh, so much to do. And Mom frequently reminds me. It just eats at me every time she does it. So frustrating. I want to tell her, "MA, I am already a maid, a nurse, a companion, a psychiatric helper, a laundress, a cook, a chauffeur, and an accountant as well as your personal secretary. Please have some patience and give me a break."
Mom feels really bad that she can't do more. Dad's Parkinson's has progressed to the point that he does not see beyond himself so much.
I needed to share this, it has been weighing heavily on my heart. I love my parents deeply, I just have so much to do.
Ayla67
I have so many projects that I want to get done around her, putting things in different spots, moving shelves, hanging a new grab bar, arranging a couple of closets. On top of everything else I do, it is just overwhelming. I really could use a hand. For example, in February I traded out my bedroom with Ma and Pa's, but now all my pictures are in their room. I have been meaning to fix this for a long time, but I never seem to have the energy. I might hire my cleaning lady to act as my "helper" on this stuff. Also, I have a couple of closets (3) to sort out. And a shelf in the kitchen needs to be removed: it blocks clear passage of the walkers. Ugh, so much to do.
That's not counting the big box of paid bills which sits in the parlor that needs to be organized. Oh, so much to do. And Mom frequently reminds me. It just eats at me every time she does it. So frustrating. I want to tell her, "MA, I am already a maid, a nurse, a companion, a psychiatric helper, a laundress, a cook, a chauffeur, and an accountant as well as your personal secretary. Please have some patience and give me a break."
Mom feels really bad that she can't do more. Dad's Parkinson's has progressed to the point that he does not see beyond himself so much.
I needed to share this, it has been weighing heavily on my heart. I love my parents deeply, I just have so much to do.
Ayla67
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
By all means, if there is money for it hire some help to get some of the big things done. Somehow it seems to me that adding a second person to the job makes the work go by 3 times as fast!
She needs to know her expectations are not reasonable.
Plan ONE thing per day you want to accomplish so as not being overwhealmed..
If you cut down one tree at a time you will eventually be able to see the forest!!
I am using a list, just so I can see some positive results when I cross stuff OFF!
And when mother interjects with her opinions of things not getting done as quickly as she'd like you could ask her to step in and do some smaller tasks so that your attention can be put to those others that's such a priority for her.
Aren't all elderly this way? They all spend a disproportionate amount of time worrying about anything and everything......