Barbara, the only advice I have here is just to try and stay calm.

Hi Barbara. I can only imagine how hard it is on you, but we are here for you. Take care.

snow storm screwed things up for helping mom with the therapist and I hope that there is some way to help her pain deminish...brother needs to move...get ass out of moms house....

sometimes we just have to remind ourselves that she chose what she wanted, and we can only try to make things easier, but they will never change. I have to do a whole lot of singing "let it go, let it go"

Maybe you need to run away from home for a while.

Take some time out for yourself...when im stressed out i get a pedicure

Same situation here. I feel frustrated at the situation my mom is in. My mom chooses to live alone and my sibling with issues lives in the same complex (been estranged for 3 yrs)

I tried to do things by myself taking care of my mother but she refused any suggestions or get help. She made decisions herself that I had to help clear up after, I got stressed and then my health deteriorated. I haven't been around the forum for months.

Though my siblings were not ideal I reached out during xmas and just let them know what was going on. I went with the expectation of nothing. Whatever they could do fine, even if it was not the best effort. I had to take care of myself then my kids,my husband then my mom. She had a life of her choices and wil continue even if it is not the best for her. I HAD to accept and respect whatever it was she was doing even if i thought it wrong.

I had to step back since i got sick and take care of my own health. Who would help my kids if I was hospitalized. Husband works long hours and there is my "siblings" who werent really great at taking care of their own mother, how can they care for my kids?

So l let some things go. Before she refused meals on wheels but after I was sick and unavailable to help all the time, she accepted meals on wheels. I still take her to drs appt but I call her less and deal with drama less.

My husband didn't like that the emotional strain affect me. I got sick and was crying and irritable all the time before. But I know he loves me. Im sure yours does too. But I realize he cannot empathize with me b/c his parents live aboard and they are not in this position. Plus they are not his parents and he is not me. So i come here, for venting, suggestions and support.

The positive thing about your situation is she is not alone at home 24/7. . If anything serious happen he would help her get up and call 911 and get help. It is not the best case but at least there is someone.

That is what I knew about MY sibling even with mental issues. Yesterday I got a text asking about my moms meds and dementia condition. They don't take her shopping or do the Dr appts, or anything important but at least I know occasionally they visit and check.

Please be kind to yourself and care for yourself first. Hugs and hope.
I dont have to worry if something happened to her.

Well said 2B. Great advice.

When my mom was in her last months I made the mistake of not taking care of myself and ended up both emotionally and physically sick. Of course we want to be there for our parents but we are completely useless if we don't take care of ourselves FIRST! Always remember that... Hugs

great advice, yes the toll of your body is huge, stress does horrible things. you need to step back, let things go and take care of you. have u=you considered having someone come in a few days a week at moms?